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Open Poetry #5
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Prime Directive Goal
| Open Poetry #5 |
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Prime Directive Goal |
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PhaerieChild Senior Member
since 1999-08-30
Posts 1787Aloha, Oregon 
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Life is rushing by too fast, like a river that can't be tamed. Time is flowing endlessly, faster to somewhere unnamed Things that seemed so permanent are just dust in the wind Monuments and moments lost in the distance, just around the bend. People you knew you'd see tomorrow are just no longer there. Life and death had their duel and left nothing but a vacant stare. Love you knew would be there even after a nasty fight Has just vanished in a twinkling of a shattered headlight. Cancer came a calling and took the body of your soul Ravaging every cell with death, its prime directive goal. Memories abound with laughter, joy, and then the grief How this happened, leaves an emptiness beyond belief. When in younger days, it seemed you were indestructible Capable of leaping tall buildings, absolutely invincible. The duel, it rages on, marching toward its inevitable end Beginning at birth, destined to die, to leave without intent. To know that the end is near, today, tomorrow, or later Is all that we have been given by our Heavenly Creator. He loves our hearts, knows our minds, gave each of us a soul He died for us and loves us all. It is His Prime Directive Goal. He knows that we'll saddened by every loss we have to face But He is there to hold us up and keep us within His Grace. He gave his Son so we may live, eternally on celestial shores. Could we be so unselfish? Could any of us do that or more? By Shawna R Holder Magnolia Manor 1/24/2000 < !signature--> Poetry~ Words falling on paper, painting a dream. Shawna R. Holder Boise, Idaho [This message has been edited by WildChild (edited 01-24-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Shawna R. Holder - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Beki Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1569Newport Beach, CA, USA |
This poem is full of passion and yet a tremendous sense of loss, but still hopeful. Well done. Just a couple minor editing things...in the third line of first stanza should read "Things that seemed so permanent ARE just dust..." (things requires plural verb)..... also, in the second line of the third stanza, it should read "Ravaging every cell with death, ITS prime directive goal." (no apostrophe on its...apostrophe would make it contraction "it is" rather than possessive you wanted) A couple lines I really like.... "Monuments and moments lost in the distance, just around the bend" and "To know that the end is near, today, tomorrow, or later Is all that we have been given by our Heavenly Creator." GOOD WORK! |
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PhaerieChild Senior Member
since 1999-08-30
Posts 1787Aloha, Oregon |
Beki, thanks for the editing tips. I thought I had all that worked out but I guess not. Anyway I went back and fixed them. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thanks. Poetry~ Words falling on paper, painting a dream. Shawna R. Holder Boise, Idaho |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
This tells a good story  |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
And peace only comes when we are foucused on His Prime Directive Goal...how easily we lose sight of it..... Thanks for the reminder, Shawna! Denise |
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PhaerieChild Senior Member
since 1999-08-30
Posts 1787Aloha, Oregon |
Ruth, thank you Denise,focusing on the goal....that's so hard to do sometimes but I think He knows that and forgives. Thanks for the reply. Poetry~ Words falling on paper, painting a dream. Shawna R. Holder Boise, Idaho |
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