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Wake up
| Open Poetry #5 |
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Wake up |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you 
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I woke you up in the middle of the night everything felt wrong I needed you to make it right Instead you said what's wrong with you (I'm hurting inside and you haven't a clue) You don't know me you don't know my heart I needed your hands to hold me - not push us apart. -SEA- |
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| © Copyright 2000 S.E. A - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Echo Rhayne Senior Member
since 1999-09-17
Posts 1495Canyon Country, CA |
I'd be a butt if you woke me up in the middle of the night too Lol, sorry (thats only because its rare I sleep)...I like this poem, it says a lot, I think we all need hands to hold us instead of pushing us apart, so very well said. ~*~ ^i^ ~*~ Love is such a lonely art, and death is but a taste. Minds are merely instruments that often go to waste! ~*~ ^i^ ~*~ |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Hi, Sea. I enjoyed this poem. One thing, though. I think the poem would be that much better if you really got inside the narrator's head. We know she's sad, but is it only because her significant other is being such a louse? I think it runs deeper than that -- his rejection is just another representation in a line of bad choices. I don't know where I'm getting that feeling from, but it's there. Keep workin' at it. Mike |
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One Who Understands Member
since 2000-01-20
Posts 251Cedar Rapids, Iowa |
The endings to all your poems, never fail to make me smile  |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Again, the final stanza finishes this off perfectly |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
bsquirrel.....thank you for your thoughts....there is so much more to that poem, I just didn't have the words at the time to go deeper. I'm working on it! -SEA One Who Understands and Hoot.... Thanks! -SEA |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
This is a beautiful little poem! I love it! Denise |
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d.schultz Junior Member
since 2000-01-21
Posts 43 |
SEA~~ I do enjoy reading your thoughts However this poem can go both ways... I thought of a man... because when a man needs you it is always when a woman is not available... bad timing as I tell my husband hehe....Again I do enjoy your work very much... |
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G. A. Webb Member
since 2000-01-21
Posts 441Stanton, California, USA |
God knows that I know how that feels. I'm sorry to hear that you're in a situation like that, but I did like the poem. Good job!  ) |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Sea, So he pushed you out to sea? Well sail back again. Enjoyed the poem. |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
I know what you are talking about Sea. You want to wake him up emotionally so he will share his heart with you. I enjoyed your poem. James |
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Lynn Member
since 1999-09-20
Posts 316Jasper, Alabama U.S.A. |
I have to say that I enjoyed this a lot. As I do the others I have read. If time cannot heal your pain, you can always cry on my shoulder. ~Jenn~ |
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