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Open Poetry #5
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not quite as bleak...
| Open Poetry #5 |
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not quite as bleak... |
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Tramp Poet Senior Member
since 2000-01-06
Posts 754Could Be Anywhere... 
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Time Pieces Message in a bottle gently rides upon the waves. Hand reaching, oh rescues from the sea, message saved. Weathered, wrinkled, creased on brown bag, by unsteady hand. Message searching for rescue speaking of barren, foreign land. Tale of storm and ruin lives spared, yet ever lost. Heart-wrenching plea for help message into tempest tossed. Hope burned, beaten, quenched lost on deserted, desert isle. Desperate plea for salvation riding time for countless miles. Message spent within ones bottle ageless tragedy blooms near complete. Antique, glass plea twice tossed for rescue; whose hand doth reach? DJBurt (all rights reserved) there is only one... Romans 10:9-10 |
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| © Copyright 2000 Daniel James Burt - All Rights Reserved | |||
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devina Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539Cali |
Now I'm thinking of Gilligans Island!! Great description, enjoyed the read!! Open arms can be the most fragile in the world... |
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catslair Junior Member
since 2000-01-16
Posts 48 |
ha ha yes gilligan's island but with much more depth and feeling.....well done!!!!! |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
This reminds me of one I did  Message In A Bottle A message in a bottle Upon the open sea Set to sail some years ago Found its way to me Upon the open sea Where winds and currents play Its course so unpredictable It came to rest one day Where winds and currents play ‘Midst waves, storms and debris Left to the deep blue oceans whims It found its way to me ‘Midst waves, storms and debris It washed upon the shore The message in a bottle Sent several years before It washed upon the shore The letter safe and dry And when I started reading it I couldn’t help but cry The letter safe and dry It told a haunting tale “My dearest Ruth...” it began My breath caught, my face went pale It told a haunting tale In writing I knew well He promised he’d come back real soon The day that he set sail In writing I knew well I read his final note He’d run into a storm at sea Where the waves they’d sunk his boat I read his final note A letter meant for me “I know I promised I’d be back But it seems I’ll die at sea” A letter meant for me “Please forgive me,” the words said “I won’t be coming back to you By tomorrow I’ll be dead” “Please forgive me,” the words said “You know I loved you so But I’ve drifted here for days on end And now it’s time to go” “You know I loved you so My dear I always will When I shed this mortal shell I will love you still” “My dear I always will Remember our true love I’m looking forward to the day When we both meet above” “Remember our true love” How those words they spoke to me As I shoved the note into the bottle And threw it out to sea How those words they spoke to me There standing on that shore I’d thought he found another love Those many years before There standing on the shore As I began to cry I watched the bottle drift away And finally said goodbye At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet. ~Plato |
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PhaerieChild Senior Member
since 1999-08-30
Posts 1787Aloha, Oregon |
Wow!!! This is ssooooo good! I really love that last stanza. Very well done!! Bravo!! (and all that other jolly good stuff hehehe) Poetry~ Words falling on paper, painting a dream. Shawna R. Holder Boise, Idaho |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Beautiful poems, Bleeding and Ruth! Denise |
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Tramp Poet Senior Member
since 2000-01-06
Posts 754Could Be Anywhere... |
wow Hoot... must have been on the same train, eh? thanks for the share. thanks to all for the input seems so strange after all these solitary years hunched over my Whisper; to finaly "come out" and actually have other poets like this stuff... and here i thought poets were mostly cannibalistic... b there is only one... Romans 10:9-10 |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
bleeding- This is such a lovely written piece. My minds-eye could see the bottle bobbling about ... wending it's way to some uncharted shore. Now that, my friend, is imagery at it's finest. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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simplyYRREHS Member
since 2000-01-03
Posts 162 |
Anyone know Nicholas Sparks? Couldn't help but think of his novel. Great poems, BOTH of them. The visuals were incredible. Sherry"Heaven is under our feet as well as over our heads." ~Henry David Thoreau |
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