update on Michael Auguste - pipTalk Forums

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Martie

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since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

0 posted 2004-03-02 12:01 PM

Hello friends.......Michael called me this morning and asked me to post an update from his latest doctor's appointment. Cancer is ruthless in its journey through his body. It is in both lungs, his esophagus, adrenal gland, liver and probably his stomach. His doctor wanted to hospitalize him in order to hydrate him, but he wants to try to do that himself so he can be at home, one sip of water at a time. I know you keep him in your thoughts and prayers as I do...it is so important for him to know the passion's friendship circle is there for him. I wish this was better news.

Sunshine

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since 1999-06-25

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Listening to every heart

1 posted 2004-03-02 12:09 PM

We all wish it were better news. Sounds as if the chemo he had hoped for may not even be offered. Such a sad day. Thank you, Martie.

Martie

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since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

2 posted 2004-03-02 12:18 PM

Yes, Karilea...I forgot to mention that. The chemo is not an option right now.

Enchantress
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since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

3 posted 2004-03-02 12:20 PM

I really don't know what to say...this is indeed upsetting news Martie.

Michael, please know I am praying harder than ever for you now.
And, I never give up, so don't you!
I believe in miracles.

God Bless you dear Michael.
Check your email.

Hugs to you Martie.

Kit McCallum

Administrator

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since 2000-04-30

Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada

4 posted 2004-03-02 12:58 PM

Martie, please let Michael know
he's in my thoughts and prayers.

Midnitesun

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since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

5 posted 2004-03-02 01:05 PM

Michael will always be here in spirit, and we shall always be with him, wherever life's journey takes him. Such sad news.

Nightshade

Member Patricius

since 2001-08-31

Posts 13962
just out of reach

6 posted 2004-03-02 01:35 PM

Thankyou for updating us Martie.
Michael, I am holding you close in my heart and praying daily for you. Never give up....and keep yourself hydrated as per doctor's orders. Hugs, Chris

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

7 posted 2004-03-02 01:40 PM

Michael, do what is necessary to be comfortable and know we are thinking of you.

hugs
M

Greeneyes

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-09-09

Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

8 posted 2004-03-02 03:40 PM

Praying for you....gentle peace and much love....

~~**~~
There are moments when speech
is but a mouth pressed lightly and
humbly against the angel's hands.

muted

Member Elite

since 2004-01-15

Posts 2949
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving

9 posted 2004-03-02 06:09 PM

for michael: though i know little about you, i have seen your face here, and i have followed your pain, and if wishing could make it all better....id keep wishing for you.

scorpio
Member Ascendant

since 2002-10-02

Posts 5178
right...there

10 posted 2004-03-02 07:48 PM

Michael,I hope you can feel the outpouring of caring as your friends in PIP draw closer to you in their thoughts and prayers.

believe in what your heart feels...

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

11 posted 2004-03-02 10:06 PM

Martie, please tell Michael he is in my thoughts and prayers.

LoveBug

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Member Elite

since 2000-01-08

Posts 4697

12 posted 2004-03-02 10:32 PM

Praying for comfort and strength for you and yours, Micheal.. God be with you, my friend, and know our hearts, thoughts, and prayers are with you as well.

Oh, make me Thine forever
And should I fainting be
Lord, let me never ever
Outlive my love for Thee

amigo
Senior Member

since 2001-10-12

Posts 520
the earth school

13 posted 2004-03-02 10:46 PM

Thank you, Martie. Please let Michael know that our prayers will definitely be with him in this challenging journey...

Auguste

Member Elite

since 2000-02-16

Posts 3953
By the sea

14 posted 2004-03-03 01:26 AM

First, please let me thank each of you in the most sincere I know how for your prayers, love and caring.

Yes, as for now, Chemo and Radiation have been put on the back burner until they get more test results in.  That will likely happen on Friday and Monday.  Cancer in my throat right now appears to be the most life threatening, however, I didn't know that until yesterday after speaking with the doctors.  For now, they're less concerned about cancer in my lungs, Adreanal Gland and stomach, liver, or wherever it may have spread, though they're very concerned about my brain.

I would like to be able to laugh again, my normal laugh, so that you could all recognize it, but a tumor is resting on the nerve in my right lung which may take my voice away forever when it's finally removed.

I'm still trying to be brave, but fear is seeping in wherever it can find a foothold to survive.  When I find it there, I tell it to kiss my expletive, because I need to be strong now for my son and for each of you.  That strength, I feel, will help me survive this, though I'm not certain how much of my health will be left when this battle is won, if it can be won.  Still, I'm fighting back, know that.

I can't always promise you that I will have courage, as I'm sure you already know, but I will promise you that what courage I have and can tap into, I'll tap into as often as I am able to do so.  You've always been so good to me.  I want to be good for you as well.

God bless you all,
Michael

The stars will shine when I am gone,
the earth will turn on as before,
the gulls, still race along the shore,
the morning star, still kiss the dawn

passing shadows
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since 1999-08-26

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displaced

15 posted 2004-03-03 01:32 AM

you know I'm here

Kahlil
Senior Member

since 2003-04-12

Posts 1881

16 posted 2004-03-03 02:24 AM

God bless you, Michael, holding you as close as is possible in heart, thought and prayer.
~K~

Opeth
Senior Member

since 2001-12-13

Posts 1543
The Ravines

17 posted 2004-03-03 06:47 AM

Michael,

I am not a praying man, but I would like to sendt to you my best wishes and hope that you can tap into the inner-strength inside of yourself to help pull you through a most unfortunate life threatening ordeal.

Maybe something (music) or someone (loved one) of which you have a passion for can help you recover.

Sincerely,

Mike

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

18 posted 2004-03-03 10:01 AM

Michael: I believe in miracles... one of my dearest friends is a walking one. I will keep you in my prayers that you be given the strength to face whatever comes your way... with the grace you always exhibit... and without fear.

Justbleu
Member Elite

since 1999-08-31

Posts 3329
Oregon, Originally From Alaska :)

19 posted 2004-03-03 04:06 PM

My heart goes out to you Michael...
You will be in my thoughts and prayers.
God be with you dear one!!!
Take Care!!!
Bridgette

"Somewhere, somehow, it should be possible to touch someone and never let go again. To hold someone, not for a moment but forever." Unknown

Auguste

Member Elite

since 2000-02-16

Posts 3953
By the sea

20 posted 2004-03-03 04:59 PM

I can't begin to adequately express how deeply moved I am by your prayers and kindness.  You're all very wonderful, Passions finest!  It is at times like these that the real home, family, very heart of this place really shines its best.  You shine well, my friends, very well indeed.

I'm feeling better today and the fear is being held at bay by sheer determination and an unwillingness to give up.  I can't say that I'll win this fight, but you can bet that the enemy (cancer) is going to get some real bumps and bruises before I'm done with it.

God bless you all and continue to shine as brightly as you've always done.

Michael

The stars will shine when I am gone,
the earth will turn on as before,
the gulls, still race along the shore,
the morning star, still kiss the dawn

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

21 posted 2004-03-03 05:29 PM

Forgive my silence, sweetie.

The "C" word and all of it's ugliness is still difficult for me, so?

No words, but know you're in my prayers.

Nan

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-20

Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA

22 posted 2004-03-03 08:12 PM

Your light makes Passions in Poetry shine, Michael... Take care of yourself as best you can - You're in my prayers...

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

23 posted 2004-03-04 12:32 PM

Michael, I'm here for you.

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

24 posted 2004-03-04 06:01 PM

Holding you in my heart and prayers, dear Michael.
Love and hugs. Margherita

Denise

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Member Seraphic

since 1999-08-22

Posts 22648

25 posted 2004-03-04 06:46 PM

Michael, please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers as well. (((Hugs)))

Auguste

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since 2000-02-16

Posts 3953
By the sea

26 posted 2004-03-04 10:01 PM

All men try to sound brave, look macho, but in doing so, only come out looking foolish, in my opinion. Men have feelings, very honest ones and they need to be seen. Women need to know that men can often hurt and be afraid just like they can, but that doesn't mean they are any less of a man for having those feelings. I also believe women would tend to find more respect for them if they let that silly wall come down and just let their real feelings be seen. That's always what I've tried to do, with my family and all of you. In other words, I'm real, I feel, I fear, but yes, I still fight, just as anyone would, no matter what their sex. Lyra fought like hell and I still consider her one of the greatest heroes I've ever been blessed to know. She was WONDERFUL and she SO loved SUPER DAVE. What a great couple!!

I'm fighting, but yes, I have MUCH fear, so very much now, but I've yet to give up and I'll get **** if the doctors try to give up on me!

Love and hugs to each of you. God bless,

Michael

The stars will shine when I am gone,
the earth will turn on as before,
the gulls, still race along the shore,
the morning star, still kiss the dawn

Martie

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Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

27 posted 2004-03-04 10:05 PM

Michael...the sweet truth of tears and fear...are part of why I love you!

Enchantress
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since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

28 posted 2004-03-04 10:20 PM

Michael?

C'mere...

Kahlil
Senior Member

since 2003-04-12

Posts 1881

29 posted 2004-03-05 01:54 AM

Love and hugs and blessings to you, too, Michael. Your courage is inspiring. ~K~

Goldenrose
Member Elite

since 2003-05-30

Posts 3665

30 posted 2004-03-05 05:46 AM

May i wish you all the very best Michael....

Goldenrose.

''Each soul is potentialy divine..the goal is to manifest that divinity''

Auguste

Member Elite

since 2000-02-16

Posts 3953
By the sea

31 posted 2004-03-06 04:07 AM

I went in yesterday morning for a gamma ray scan, at least that's what the technician called it.  I was assuming it would be a Cat Scan, but honestly don't know the difference.  Either way, the shot of radioative stuff hurt like hell and the machine scanning me was only two inches above my face, IF that.  I had to keep my eyes closed in order not to panic, as I am EXTREMELY claustrophobic.

I later saw pictures of the scan from about 15 feet away on a computer screen that he was sending to a doctor, but I wasn't allowed a close up view, so I can't really tell you much about what I was able to see.  All I can say is that I saw arrows pointing to things the scan showed up.

My sleep is now averaging about one to two hours a day no matter how exhausted I am and I'm still having extreme difficulty both drinking as much as single cup of water to eating anything at all in an entire day.  I'm trying, know that, but nothing seems to work.  Nothing wants to stay down for very long, so this is hard.  I threw up my only partial cup of water today just a little while ago.

I have two sisters coming up from Florida next week to see how I'm doing.  I hate for them to see me this weak, because I know it'll only cause them worry, but I can't begin to tell you how much I look forward to seeing them.  I so much need family and friends around me now, though I get very little from each.  It's only rare that my phone even rings.  It's hard to understand, it really, really is.  I rarely even get an e-mail from anyone.  I don't understand.

My wife was speaking online to a nurse friend of hers tonight who says doctors no longer remove a part of the esophogus in order to help spare your life, so I suppose Chemo, in that area, at least, is the only choice I have.  It also seems to be the only option left for my other organs as well.

Just now, before going to bed, I tried to take in more liquid, only to find it come up yet again.  Sheesh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I need advice, please.  I need to be able to at least keep liquid down.  Do any of you have a clue?  I've tried Prilosec, Pepcic Ac, Maalox and nothing seems to help.  The doctors have offered nothing, because I'm a charity case.  They only hydrated me once with an IV, but the next day I was dehydrated yet again.

I'm still fighting, that's why I'm asking questions.  I at least need to maintain the health I'm already in and find a way of improving on THAT!

I can't give up, I can't.  I plan my days, by days, weeks, months, but not by years now, even though I feel there could still be many years to come.  I may be kidding myself, I don't know, but I fight because I one day want grandchildren to spoil, just as each of us do, right?!!

God bless you, love and hugs, you're so wonderful,

Michael

Munda
Member Elite

since 1999-10-08

Posts 3544
The Hague, The Netherlands

32 posted 2004-03-06 04:26 AM

If only these few words I wrote for you,
Arrived through cyber space to change into,
A balsam for the agony you're in,
And ease a little of the fear within.
If smiles could find a way through time and space,
They'd hold you in a comforting embrace,
Until a smile appears upon your face,
And strength returns to face another day.
If thoughts could reach the universe afar,
I'd place a soothing cure on every star,
To heal the aching soul during a dream,
While angels chase away your silent scream.
If only these few words I wrote today,
Could do just that for you this cloudy day...

(((((HUGS)))))
Munda

muted

Member Elite

since 2004-01-15

Posts 2949
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving

33 posted 2004-03-06 05:48 AM

hi Michael, im not sure what all those medicines are that you are taking to keep liquid down but, one that i use is Prochlorperazine (Stemetil)...it may just be a different name for something youve already tried. its not perfect, but it does ease alot of the vomitting. and it seems at this point you need to keep down anything you can.
I keep you in my thoughts and wishes even though you and i dont know one another...i really do hope that miracles happen.
keep fighting, keep loving, and know we are ALL here for you.

~Dawn

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

34 posted 2004-03-06 07:07 AM

I am no expert..why not try sucking on some ice cubes...maybe they will trickle the moisture needed rather than make you swallow larger amounts

hugs
M

Neeraja
Senior Member

since 2002-06-22

Posts 812
The Netherlands

35 posted 2004-03-06 07:30 AM

Dear Michael, you are in my prayers and thoughts, I think you are a very brave man!

A very tight hug!

Kit McCallum

Administrator

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since 2000-04-30

Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada

36 posted 2004-03-06 08:17 AM

Michael, I'm so sorry you're having to go through this. You've always had such a wonderful and positive attitude though, and that's so important. If you're getting dehydrated, please don't hesitate to get back on that IV, OK?

I hope you have a terrific visit with your sisters, and don't worry about them worrying. Just have a great visit.

Greeneyes

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-09-09

Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

37 posted 2004-03-06 09:30 AM

Micheal ~

try gatorade? Pedialyte/Pedialyte freezer pops they may help? I pray for you and your family eveyday, and like Kit said dont worry about your sisters seeing you weak, just enjoy the time....luv ya and always thinking about you!

~~**~~
There are moments when speech
is but a mouth pressed lightly and
humbly against the angel's hands.

Justbleu
Member Elite

since 1999-08-31

Posts 3329
Oregon, Originally From Alaska :)

38 posted 2004-03-06 10:38 AM

You are so brave. A pedialite popscicle might help or the ice cubes. You continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. God is alwayz with you. Have a wonderful visit with your sisters. And know that we are ALL with you sweetie!!!

Take Care!!!
LOVE AND HUGS,
Bridgette

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

39 posted 2004-03-06 12:40 PM

Michael, email me with the name of the county you live in and I can find services for you for free. They are out there it just takes some digging to find them.

I'm appalled that the doctor won't help you! They will give you a Scan but not help with keeping food/liquid down? Unbelievable!

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

40 posted 2004-03-06 12:45 PM

for you, Michael
/pip/Forum88/HTML/002020.html#2

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

41 posted 2004-03-06 01:11 PM

Dear Michael, you are in my thoughts and prayers.
Thank you for your update. I am claustrophobic too and I understand how you felt. I hope I will never need a magnetic resonance test.
You wonder why you don't receive many e-mails or calls. Truth is that many don't know how to cope with sickness. Words fail and even if they love you and want to tell you, not always they are able to do so. I know it is sad, but I have noticed this.
You are being so brave dear one. I hope you will receive all you need!
Much love and hugs. Margherita

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

42 posted 2004-03-07 12:49 PM

Michael kindly replied to me and I supplied him with the name of a clinic that can give him medical services without regard to whether or not he can pay. Perhaps he can find some relief and at least be able to keep food/water down.

Kahlil
Senior Member

since 2003-04-12

Posts 1881

43 posted 2004-03-07 01:25 AM

Poet deV, it is wonderful that you were able to help him that way.

We all love you, Michael... ~K~

Kit McCallum

Administrator

Member Laureate

since 2000-04-30

Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada

44 posted 2004-03-07 07:09 AM

Excellent Sharon!

Michael, let us know how you make out, OK?

Nan

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-20

Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA

45 posted 2004-03-07 09:29 AM

We're with you on your trek, Michael - hoping you take advantage of PdV's resources - and that you enjoy having your family with you... You're a strong man, sir - I commend you and pray for you...

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

46 posted 2004-03-07 01:47 PM

Michael, at least an I.V. would help keep you hydrated and your electrolytes balanced (i.e. sodium, potassium, sugar). Dehyrdration and an electrolyte imbalance add to one's nausea ~ it can be a vicious circle. Nausea leads to dehydration which in turn leads to more nausea...I just went through weeks of that myself and became a mere shadow of myself!

Have your doctors considered gastric feedings by tube to help build up your strength? Sometimes the smell or look of food or the act of swallowing makes the food come back up. I hope that you are able to have some form of relief. It is beyond comprehension all that you are having to endure, Dear Sweet Michael.

By all of the caring responses that you have been receiving, it is very apparent how beloved you are by your fellow Pipsters.

Sending you a rainbow of healing lights and may the angels surround you with their love and protection,

Linda

Justbleu
Member Elite

since 1999-08-31

Posts 3329
Oregon, Originally From Alaska :)

47 posted 2004-03-08 02:05 AM

Sharon that was wonderful of you to help in the way you did. You are a sweetie!!!!

Bridgette

Auguste

Member Elite

since 2000-02-16

Posts 3953
By the sea

48 posted 2004-03-09 01:01 AM

The caring of each of you only causes me to fight on the good fight, the fight I have no choice but to win.

I'm still unable to eat even a small meal for days at a time, even keep liquids down, so I'm still seriously dehydrated.  My sleep still remains only an hour a night, at best, so I'm completely exhausted.

I go in today for the results of the tests they did, yeah, fearing the results, because so far I've yet to get any kind of good news from the doctors and really don't need to hear any more bad news right now.  Even so, I'll keep you informed as best I can.

Just know, I'm fighting, dear friends, with ALL that's in me.

My hugs and God's own blessings to you all,

Michael

The stars will shine when I am gone,
the earth will turn on as before,
the gulls, still race along the shore,
the morning star, still kiss the dawn

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

49 posted 2004-03-09 08:59 AM

Keeping you in my thoughts today, Michael.

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

50 posted 2004-03-09 09:11 AM

Thinking positive thoughts
and saying prayers for better news today Michael.

Charisma

Member Ascendant

since 2000-09-30

Posts 5906
lost in blue pages

51 posted 2004-03-09 02:01 PM

You dear Michael I will hold in my prayers and thoughts....you and your family. May God embrace you with his love, and lighten your path with strenght and warmth.

(((warm hugs)))
Charisma

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