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the_loner_23
Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479
Jacksonville, Florida, USA

0 posted 2002-10-10 06:37 PM


I don't know yet. I had an expeirence a couple nights ago. I didn't know how to deal with the situation. But some people gave me some advice. Some people are mad at me. That is why I got a feeling my poetry isn't getting much feedback. But I could be jumping to conclusions. But I am just at the thinking point right now.

Julie

Cold hands means a warm heart

© Copyright 2002 the_loner_23 - All Rights Reserved
nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
1 posted 2002-10-10 06:56 PM


Julie, you are young in many ways ( and I don't mean that in a bad way) and you have to understand that sometimes you can't air all your thoughts on here without having controversy...so if it's poetry you are interested in, then write and post..but if it's  feelings and thoughts and opinions then you are never going to have everyone agree with you.

Why not try sticking to poetry for awhile and see how  your feelings can be released and expressed that way.


And don't forget..the amount of responses does not mean you aren't read.

sending you a needed ((hug))
Maureen

the_loner_23
Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479
Jacksonville, Florida, USA
2 posted 2002-10-10 06:59 PM


Thank you!!!! I really needed that.

Cold hands means a warm heart

Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
3 posted 2002-10-10 07:10 PM


if your poetry isn't receiving much feedback, perhaps you should look at what you're trying to write and the audience you're writing for. it is possible this isn't the right audience for your work.

secondly - my parents taught me that if a person has a problem with you, that's ok. if a few people have a problem with you, that too is ok. however, when you find that a lot of people are having problems with you, you need to look to youself in order to see what actions on your part are causing this; when many people have issues with you, the fault is usually in you.

as to leaving - do as you wish. no one will stop you and it is a decision that should be made on your own, not in a post that seems to me little more than another ploy for attention.

Christopher

[This message has been edited by Christopher (10-10-2002 07:11 PM).]

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

4 posted 2002-10-10 07:57 PM


You know Julie this is the second time you've made a post like this...is that how you deal with challenges - run away?

K

[This message has been edited by Severn (10-10-2002 07:58 PM).]

Miah
Senior Member
since 2002-08-26
Posts 1062
Pennsylvania
5 posted 2002-10-10 08:06 PM


Loner, You said you were sorry, we all make mistakes, it's not always easy to forgive, as it's not always easy to say you were wrong, atleast you learned your lesson.  Everyone is different that is what makes us beautiful.  Accepting everyone for who they are.  I hope you reconsider leaving.     
the_loner_23
Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479
Jacksonville, Florida, USA
6 posted 2002-10-10 10:07 PM


I am thinking about it. And I am not looking for attention Severn. You may think I am. But I am not. Thank you!!!

Cold hands means a warm heart

Crazy Eddie
Member
since 2002-09-14
Posts 178

7 posted 2002-10-10 10:34 PM



I think Chris got it about right when he said it was your choice whether to stay or go.

As to whether you’re seeking attention... Well, posting that you’re thinking about leaving  in an open forum of a poetry site, where you cite a lack of feedback as a contributing factor, does seem to indicate that you were hoping it would garner a little attention.

I mean if you really didn’t want an attentive audience to read and respond you wouldn’t have posted it at all.

Thanks for the chance to read and reply

the_loner_23
Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479
Jacksonville, Florida, USA
8 posted 2002-10-10 10:40 PM


I see... darn I seem to be posting a lot of the wrong things lately. I won't post anything like this again.

Cold hands means a warm heart

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

9 posted 2002-10-10 11:19 PM


Is that what I said to you Loner? Read again if you would - I asked you a question about how you deal with challenge. At no point did I say that you were looking for attention . I am however starting to think that so now you can tell me how much you're not...

K

the_loner_23
Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479
Jacksonville, Florida, USA
10 posted 2002-10-10 11:24 PM


Truth is Severn I don't understand you question. I have a Learning Disability. So I don't always understand what your getting at. So can you explain is simple terms what you are saying please?

Cold hands means a warm heart

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

11 posted 2002-10-10 11:30 PM


You posted a topic in the lounge that has attracted some heated conversation yes? Look, people aren't mad at you...they're concerned about how you said what you did. About how it came across. That kind of thing isn't always easy to face, I understand.

What I am saying to you is - is that really what you want to do? Run away from piptalk where you don't have to face it anymore?

Because that is what it looks like. I know you don't really want to leave here, I doubt you're even really considering it - this is your way of coping with what you think is people being mad at you.

Some people speak out forcefully (like myself), some are gentle, some are diplomatic, some are funny - people write in all kinds of ways when they disagree with something you have said online. That doesn't mean you have to leave, or run away, or feel bad about yourself as a person Julie.

Ok?

K

the_loner_23
Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479
Jacksonville, Florida, USA
12 posted 2002-10-10 11:40 PM


Yes I understand now. Thanks for explaining. Maybe I will stay around. But please it I get into another mess Severn explain things like you just did. No I am not yelling.

Cold hands means a warm heart

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

13 posted 2002-10-10 11:56 PM


Don't mistake this - I'm not asking you to stay, or to go. It's your choice completely but if and I mean if Julie you are doing this for attention - you're only going to hurt yourself in the end. Things like this backfire on you eventually.

Think about this for a second: what if there came a time when you really reached a crisis and you really wanted to leave here and you tried to reach out to someone, but found that no one was there to listen because you've said you're leaving so many times before - this is twice now in a short period you've done this here.

Do you know the story of the boy who cried wolf? He cried it so many times when there was no wolf coming to eat the sheep he was looking after that everyone stopped listening. When a real wolf came - he cried out and no one listened so he was eaten, along with his sheep.

Do you understand when I say you are running the risk of not being listened to?

You have to think carefully about your actions, you really do.

I will always respond how I want to Julie - if you think I'm not explaining or I'm yelling at you - you can tell me that, and I'll listen but it will always be my choice as to how I make a reply.

K

the_loner_23
Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479
Jacksonville, Florida, USA
14 posted 2002-10-11 12:00 PM


I understand Severn. Sorry about this. I have just been under so much stress. The post in the lounge being under fire wasn't helping things. I really wanted to leave when I wrote this. But 3 people from this board help me understand that if I give in to the stress then the stress wins. I don't want the stress to win.

Cold hands means a warm heart

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

15 posted 2002-10-11 02:29 AM


may I jump in here for a sec?

smile...

of course I can!

may I suggest, that perhaps, loner, you take the emotion that you put into these posts? and say? hmmmm...dnnno..lemme guesss...um?

I GOT IT!!!

Let's try writing something...????

Here, I, serenity, offer you, the loner, this challenge:

a haiku

a verse written (yo..and anyone feel free to jump in here) three lines, of syllables,
each equalling:

5
7
5

This is considered a Japanese form of element praise actually, so the prevelant theme of season is considered to be norm. However, in my own humble opinion, this is verse that is most difficult to achieve. Just because I think so actually.
*smirk*

But loner girl? really? try a not so simple haiku. Tell ya what? I never do those, but I will meet you in open with this one.

sigh...see what y'did?
now I have to go sit OUTSIDE...

thanks!

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
16 posted 2002-10-11 10:11 AM


Julie~
Don't go anywhere, honey~
You stay right here and post YOUR thoughts on ANY issue you want~

Ron Carnell gave ALL of us the opportunity to do just that~
AND he didn't name it PiPTALK for nothing !

Shucks, you can go back through the archives on several forums and find that some of the very people that have replied to you ... have done the same exact thing !

attention-getters ... well, aren't we ALL ! LOL !

Julie ... you're a charming and caring young woman~
Do your thing ... and do it well and often~
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
           noles1@totcon.com                       

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
17 posted 2002-10-11 12:03 PM


Listen to mother Marge. She speaks of the heart, from the heart. But remember, too, that some people ignore the wolf cries after the second yell, some will still be listening for the tenth yell.
LOL, I like Karen's challenge.
Senryu's and Haikus are fun!

Irie
Senior Member
since 1999-12-01
Posts 1493
Washington State
18 posted 2002-10-11 12:50 PM


Julie,

I have learned that here at PIP, and else where for that matter, when you state your opinion and thoughts and leave them open for debate, just that may happen. People will debate and not always agree with you.
I have posted things in the past that I found were “hot topics” to others. I felt attacked and disliked at first. But, I quickly realized that others were stating their opinion, just as I had done in the originating post.
Everyone has a right to their own opinion, thoughts and beliefs, and when you put your thoughts/feelings/beliefs out for all to see, not everyone is going to agree with you.
I have learned to listen to what others are saying, you never know, maybe they have a good point.
In fact, here is a perfect example. I posted something the other day that really bothered me, and two of our PIP members raised question about what I was feeling and why I was felling that way.
Now, I could have taken what they said and been defensive, upset and angry about it. But instead I thought about what they had to say. And ya’ know what, I think they are both right and I ended up leaving the forum feeling better about the ill feelings I had when I first posted.


Anyway, what I am trying to say is pretty much what Severn said. Just because someone is voicing their opinion or feelings, doesn’t mean they are mad at you or attacking you.
Try to listen to what they are saying. Doesn’t mean you, I or anyone else has agree, but you never know, we might, and it could make a difference.

OK, I hope that all made sense! I felt like I was rambling!

Good Luck.


~Sheri

"Don't wait for your ship to come in ...
Swim out to it"

[This message has been edited by Irie (10-11-2002 12:52 PM).]

Magnus
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
19 posted 2002-10-12 11:19 AM


Julie,  in a nutshell...this is a democratic
society...where all have their chance to
take freedom of expression and EXPRESS.

You have,  they have,  I have...  And that is all that has happened...  I try to learn
from what others have given me...evaluate
what has been said....see if it is applicable..

I try to take a really close look at myself
before I make an opinion...and I also try to
brace myself for thoughts that might not
be agreeable to me...or against what I have
said...  but here again lies the answer...
Democracy and freedom of expression....

Hugs to ya,  and learn from all of this..
It is a safe place to do just that...

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296
Michigan
20 posted 2002-10-15 10:04 PM


Stay here, Julie... Please don't run away from criticism.
I am sure that no one here dislikes you, its just that sometimes people have differences of opinion... and that, afterall... is what makes the world go around and also makes great poetry...
I have really enjoyed seeing your poetry evolve, and I would love to continue to see it do so...  and I would hate to see you run away from here when there is absolutely no reason to do so because we are like a family here...  and you know how siblings fight sometimes...
~ hugs for sticking it out

Lyra

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled"  Gwendolyn Brooks

quietlydying
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-06-10
Posts 935
the wonderful land of oz
21 posted 2002-11-19 06:05 PM


how old are you?

/jen/

i'm so bitterly disappointed.  betty, i think it's time you leave now.

Wind
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981

22 posted 2002-11-19 07:01 PM


Jen, I think she is 23...
Julie, If you leave, I will miss you, but I will not try to stop you. We all say stupid things in order to get attention, but it isn't the right thing to do. I think you know what the right thing to do is. Now you just have to do it

Never be normal!

scorpio
Member Ascendant
since 2002-10-02
Posts 5178
right...there
23 posted 2002-11-19 07:54 PM


Julie, stay...write...create

...believe what your heart feels...

Paul Wilson
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2002-07-07
Posts 4711
United States
24 posted 2002-11-20 10:41 PM


Julie~ Maybe it's time to take a break and do some soul searching & decide what you want and do it. If you are serious about your writting I think you should renew yourself and decide that you will accept the fact that we all get critized from time to time, it's no big deal and move on...Paul
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