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Lessons on the South
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Lessons on the South |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697
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The North has sun-dried toe-mah-toes, The South has 'mater samiches. The North has coffee houses, The South has Waffle Houses. The North has switchblade knives, The South has Lee Press on Nails. The North has double last names, The South has double first names. The North has an ambulance, The South has an amalance. The North has Indy car races, The South has stock car races. The North has Cream of Wheat, The South has grits. The North has green salads, The South has collard greens. The North has lobsters, The South has craw dads. The North has the rust belt, The South has the Bible Belt. If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for. Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store. Don't buy food at this store. Remember, "ya'll" is singular, "all ya'll" is plural, and "all a'll's" is plural possessive. Get used to hearing "You ain't from round here, are ya?" You may hear a Southerner say "Ought!" to a dog or child. This is short for "Ya'll ought not do that!" and is the equivalent of saying "No!" Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They can't understand you either. The first Southern expression to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "big'ol," truck or "big'ol" boy. Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect this way. All of them are in denial about it. The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper. Be advised that "He needed kill'n" is a valid defense here. If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, ya'll, watch this," stay out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he'll ever say. When you come upon a person driving 15 mph down the middle of the road, remember that most folks learn to drive on a John Deere, and that is the proper speed and position for that vehicle. Do not be surprised to find that 10 year olds own their own shotguns, they are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim. In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush green lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway. And the truest item on this list : If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just have to go there. < !signature--> "Where there is great love there are always miracles" -Cather "Love heals everything, and love is all there is"- Zukav [This message has been edited by LoveBug (edited 12-16-2000).] |
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Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas |
Yawp, true 'nuff. Born in Virginy, raised in Texas, an heard all this stuff and then some. Yuh missed some tho, like like, as in 'How much ya like?' 'Oh, just a hair.' Also is know, which is a general greeting. 'Whatcha know?' i.e. 'How are you doing?' Other than that, you were pretty dead on spot. Ya'll have a goodun, y'hear? Alicat “It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.” Charles Darwin |
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Ron
Administrator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-05-19
Posts 8669Michigan, US |
After spending last winter with my dad's folks in Louisiana, I could probably add a few of my own (not all of which would be suitable for family viewing). But I will content myself with a minor spelling correction. And, yes, it IS in the dictionary.  http://www.dictionary.com/cgi-bin/dict.pl?term=y%27all |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Y'mean there's a DICTIONARY on this thing TOO? I have died and gone to heaven!!!!! |
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Romy Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1170Plantation, Florida |
Here's a few more Saying hello- Hi Due Taken for a headache - Ass Burn A curse word - Dad Gum it What you sit in- cheer A small stream- crick What you put your rang on- fanger How you clean your face -worsh it A liar- lar Deep in thought - thanking |
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PhaerieChild Senior Member
since 1999-08-30
Posts 1787Aloha, Oregon |
And the 3 wisemen were firemen as in, 3 wise men came from afire. How can you save me? When the dark comes right in and takes me, from my front walk and into bed, where it kisses my face and eats my head. Shivaree |
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Irie Senior Member
since 1999-12-01
Posts 1493Washington State |
LOLOLOLOL  This was great fun to read LoveBug......I think I might post a few about my area.... I hope you don't mind... This was a great idea. ~Sheri "The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first" |
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Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap |
...and don't forget that the suffix "ing" is transformed in the south to "in." Who needs that "g" anyway...? I dated a gentleman for 5 years who was raised in Australia when I lived in Florida ... he had lived here long enough for his accent to fade somewhat, but you should have seen the faces of our friends the first time he said "aluminum" (read: al yoo MIN um) The South don't like them dang ferriners ... not a one of 'em can talk right. --Linda Remember: maintaining a positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will certainly annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Haha that's all funny!!! But yea.....i'm going to be visiting the south for the first time this summer. Actually i'll probably be attending college there. Anyway i'll be in ALABAMA visiting a friend of mine......I hear they don't treat Puerto Ricans too nicely.......Hmmmmmmm bad bad.....  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them! |
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Tara Simms Senior Member
since 1999-08-12
Posts 1244Honea Path, SC USA |
In Oklahoma (where I'm originally from), "barbed wire" becomes "bob war", "warped" is "wopped" (I'm still not positive that is the correct translation...it took me 3 years to figure it out), "pliers" is "plars". Here in SC, where I live now, the thing about bad weather and the grocery store is definitely true. If they forecast ANY kind of storm, there is no bread or milk to be found within a 50 mile radius. One summer, the small town I live in had a brief blackout. We were without electricity for 1 hour. Once the power was back on, all the bread and milk were SOLD OUT everywhere in town within 30 minutes! Can anyone explain that?! They are nuts here! |
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SorrowsMystress Member
since 2000-04-01
Posts 178I'm a wanderer, a nomad...I don't live in one particular area, Just wherever I end up. |
Something I've noticed about Oklahoma... Duct Tape is an essential. It fixes everything from a car to a stove, a bike to a washing machine, and even plumbing problems and leaks in the roof! Sheesh, I need to go back to Cali... getting sick of looking at all the perdy duct tape. lol. "It was my love that did us both to death. " -Sylvia Plath |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
Don't forget the array of used car lots that can be found in overgrown front yards! You just have to search a little through the 6 ft high grass! We have flurries here (FLURRIES!) and my parents got 5 loaves of bread! Sandwiches, anyone? "Where there is great love there are always miracles" -Cather "Love heals everything, and love is all there is"- Zukav |
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
LOL...This was great, Love Bug. The Upper Peninsula of Michigan is known for having a bit of their own unique language...a combination of northern hillbilly, Finn (people of Finnish descent are abundant there), and Canadian. Da.....the dey....they Youse....you, as in "How youse guys doin'?" Das...that's Isss....is ah.......pronunciation of short "o" and uh.......of, as in "We gaht lahts uh snow." camp.....summer cottage, or hunting lodge You go directly to a place....as in "I'm going beach", or "Dey went town" steam bath (a Finnish tradition)..sauna...pronounced "sowna"...the average Finn house has one in their garage, or their basement, or free-standing teens going to cruise main street, "buzz da gutt" All I can think of for now... Kris All good poetry is the spontaneous overflow of powerful feelings...~William Wordsworth |
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Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
LOL...here in MN, we (allegedly) say "Yah, sure, you betcha" for "yes." "Are you coming to my house tonight?" "Yah, sure, you betcha!" And the other night when I was at my friend's party, I met a guy from Colorado. All the native Minnesotans were asking him if they had a MN accent...they were like, "Do I have one?" "What about me?" "What about me?" He didn't say anything to anyone else, but when I asked him, he said, "Yeah, you do!" (I don't THINK I talk that differently!) Also in MN, there is an inborn animosity toward Packer fans (BOOOO GREEN BAY!) and anyone from Iowa.  |
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SorrowsMystress Member
since 2000-04-01
Posts 178I'm a wanderer, a nomad...I don't live in one particular area, Just wherever I end up. |
Thought this was pretty funny.. Things you'll never hear a southener say: 1: Oh, I just couldn't. Hell, she's only sixteen! 2: Duct tape won't fix that! 3: We don't keep firearms in this house! 4: You can't feed that to the dog. 5: No kids in the back of the pickup. it's just not safe. 6: We're vegitarians 7: I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy. 8: Give me the smaller bag of pork rinds, please. 9: Too many deer heads detract from the decor. 10: Spittin' is just a nasty habit! 11: I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today. 12: The tires on that truck are too big 13: She's too young to be wearing a bikini 14: Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.... 15: Nope, no more for me. I'm driving tonight! "It was my love that did us both to death. " -Sylvia Plath |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
I'm a vegitarian!!!!! HAHAHA The accent can differ for different parts of your state, also. I live in southern WV, and when I went to Morgantown (northern WV) for a science camp last summer, all I heard about was my hick accent!  |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
Don't forget one of the things southerners say to vocal translplants..... "If'n it wuz so good up thar whutcha doin down cheer? Jamie Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil. "Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely". |
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Jesse Jaymz Senior Member
since 2000-01-24
Posts 708Youngstown, ohio |
hey yall i reckon this virginian better throw his 2 cents in too huh. hold on *hey mom get off the dang roof* damn dogs keep running over yonder. i hate that. i live in ny now sadly but still got my accent. i loved it there. and yeah they cant handle snow. 6 inches close EVERYTHING for a week in a half. it was funny as hell. meanwhile here in yankee land we get 4 feet and still in school. damn place. ehehehehe this rebel needs to go back home =) Jesse True beauty is often hidden in darkness... |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
LOL we got dictionaries on it now LOL And don't forget the big thang...fixin' to. I'm fixin' ta go to da store! I'm still hooked on that one! Up North I'm asked if I'm from the South. In the South, well they know I'm from the North. I guess I'm just an inbetweener. LOL |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Odd...very odd... |
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Saxoness
since 1999-07-18
Posts 1102Texas |
lol...this is crackin me up, seriously. (did I just say crackin?) Being a third generation Texan, I would have to vouch for several of these, especially the one about gettin stuck in a ditch. That personally happened to me over winter break. The roads were icy, and a car swerved in front of me in turn causing me to swerve into a ditch, in less than 15 minutes I had a big ole truck with two guys pull over and hook me up and pull me out. I just stood there and watched. It's funny comin up to Missouri, cause we consider it the midwest while others still consider it south (actually, we don't usually seperate any of the states into regions other than the north and south. If it's not south, then it just gets referred to as "up in" or "up north") The people here are NOT friendly! If you get stuck on the road where I'm from, it's extremely odd if someone doesn't pull over to help within 15 or so minutes. Up here, people just drive on by like they don't see you. I hate that. Ya'll also forgot a few sayings. For instance, if a word has more than one syllable, we do everything we can to shorten it, and if it has only one syllable to start with, we try our best to lengthen it. Here's a conversation for ya: "Jeet yet?" (did you eat yet) "Naw." (no) "Yon't to?" (Do you want to) "Aiight." (Alright) Lord I love my home lol "Glory remains unaware of my neglected dwelling where alone I sing my tearful song which has charms only for me." |
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Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
Oh how I love the South. Never ever a dull moment. The ironic thing- is how you find the Grand Wizard of the KKK preaching in the pulpit at church the next morning. The service in the South is extremely friendly. The further North you go the more hateful the waitresses get. People in the South are so touchy and lovey- they always make you feel welcome. And can I just say- It's an absolutely BEAUTIFUL place to live. In the summertime the grass is lush and everything is an eye popping shade of green while fall has all these brilliant colors of leaves- and winter- you can wake up to a gentle dusting of snow. Absolutely breath taking. And yes- You have to get used to and get "learned up" on your Hick talk and Bama tales. You aren't Southern if you don't have old sayins and expressions in every sentence you speak. |
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J.L. Humphres Member
since 2000-01-03
Posts 201Alabama |
This is the funniest (and truest) post I've read in a long time. These are all hilarious. One thing ya'll forgot 'bout though, volunteer fire departments. Everyone is in one...and if something catches fire during "deer season" hang it up it's gone. Thanks for the laugh everyone. J.L.H. Jason |
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JLR Senior Member
since 2001-02-04
Posts 1785 |
This is great...so glad it got bumped back up today. Can't believe no one said anything about "fixin'", as in 'I'm fixin' to go to the store. Loved this! |
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Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
HaHaHaHa Oh yes! The Volunteer Fire Dept! Those in the South who don't volunteer- ALL have friends and family that do.Ask! THATS where ALOT of the town gossip origintaes from too! Example- "Billy Sue! You ain't ever gunno guess who's Chevy I seen parked by Jim's Dodge in his dirt drive the other night when I was a'followin them there fire trucks to the old Dooley place...." Yes- Follow! BIG THING in the South. Those who are NOT on the volunteer fire dept. LOVE following them to the scene of the unfortunate event. |
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