I-am-bent Pentameter - pipTalk Forums

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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

0 posted 2011-10-24 01:56 AM

I really thought I had it this time.

mmmmm....nnnnNOPE.

I tried a sonnet and it vexed my brain.

So I ask you all, I plead with you, how does an semi-sorta-educated American girl figure out the "iambic" part of the pentameter?

(The stresses seem to rely on perfect English pronunciation, and the perfect English pronunciation seems to take the passion and the drama out of the music of the form...)

I just want to write one graceful sonnet before I die.

I miss Critical Analysis, actually.

Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

1 posted 2011-10-24 07:59 AM

There are plenty of references in the poetry workshop, serenity.

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

2 posted 2011-10-24 12:09 PM

sigh.

Thanks.

I'm finally found an explanation that made me go "aha" (Al Pacino's documentary regarding the making of Richard III) and I actually thought I could possibly write like that.

The syllable count is easy, the iams are hard--especially for a girl who tawks like dis.

And the rhyme scheme is difficult as well--I find myself needing internal rhyme to make it read well and even then it still sounds forced.

<--caution: this smilie causes brain damage.

Essorant
Member Elite

since 2002-08-10

Posts 4769
Regina, Saskatchewan; Canada

3 posted 2011-10-24 12:18 PM

This page may help a bit: How to Use Meter

Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

4 posted 2011-10-24 07:03 PM

Good link, Ess. There are areas I disagree with but, overall, the link is very helpful.

Serenity gal, I understand your pain, believe me. Writing poetry is easy. Writing good poetry is very hard. You can get to a point where you suffer from "analysis paralysis", trying so hard to follow every rule that you get tied up in knots and come out with a sub-standard piece of work. Good rhying poetry is more than just following the rules, just as good art is more than just drawing a stick figure with the body parts in the right place.

Syllable counting is easy? actually, it's not. You have to count how many syllables you pronounce, not how many there actually are. Many poets fall down in this area. For example, take the word "memory". In my neck of the woods, that's a three syllable word. If I use a line like:

The memory of days gone by" that would be perfect iambic -> the MEM-o-RY of DAYS gone BY.

But.....if I use a line like this:

The memory fades as days go by...

it is still perfect imabic but "memory" is actually reducedto two syllables and another word - fades - needs to be inserted to maintain the meter -> the MEM-ory FADES as DAYS go BY.

So, if you want to dwell on counting exact syllables, you would come to the conclusion that the second example has one syllable too many....but it doesn't, really, and it remains iambic. This happens a lot withmulti-syllable words and it all depends on whether the word is followed by a stressed or unstressed syllable.

You have trouble making it sound non-forced? You should be at a "Occupy Poetry" rally because you are one of the 99%.That's t he hardest thing there is in structured poetry.

I'm sure you realize that you can send me anything, anytime and I will work on it with you...right??

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

5 posted 2011-10-24 08:11 PM

Thank you gentlemen.

I wrote quite a mess last night, and consider it progress that I didn't just post it and shrug.

I know I always acted like I didn't care about the rules, but the truth is, I envy those who can do that and make it look easy.

Mehopes to be able to do so without resorting to words such as ...mehopes.

Mike, your willingness to work with me again means more to me than you know. I'll do as another friend suggested for a bit, and just immerse myself in reading sonnets for a bit, in hopes that I, as Al Pacino suggested, "tune my ear."

(For the record, Al Pacino didn't suggest that to me personally, but when he looks at the camera, it sure feels that way.)

And that, is exactly what I hope to achieve with my poems. Of course, I'll probably continue to just splat out my stuff, but I'd like to at least ...try for a little more refinement for certain topics, as my usual approach is a bit...wince--intense? Aggressive?

I dunno.

I'm just as bored and itchy with my writing as I am with myself, these days. (I hope you both realize that as hard as I can be on others, my contempt for me is far worse than any diatribe of a word-bat I can summon up while writing and riding even the most tumultuous turn of the hormone.)

Thank you both for the encouragement, and if I come up with something I don't absolutely hate, I'll send it on to you, Mike.

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