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Smoking or Non-smoking?
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Smoking or Non-smoking? |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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I happen to have two packs of cigarettes left, and yanno what? I've decided to be bold--to venture into public domain and (using Ron's generosity yet again) attempt to cease this senseless assault on my heath and my wallet. So as I watch my forty ciggies go up in smoke, I decided I'd keep you guys informed. Encourage me if ya want, join me if you like, mock me if I fail--this is a totally new experience for me. I do not know if I know how to live without something to do with my hands and mouth--but I am open to suggestions.  And hey, this is hard for me, because if ya'll know me well? It's really hard for me to do anything when I feel like I'm being coerced--and I feel like I'm being coerced. But I can't argue with the logic that it is a drain on my health, and on the healthcare system--I really can't--and I'm good at the rationalized loophole. I just can't find one. So? Anyone care to join me? Forty cigs...it's like...biblical, right? All tips on how to quit are welcome. In fact, I'm gonna start by using Aunt Sandra's. She told me she put her ciggies out in a jar with a little water in it, covered by a tight lid. When she felt like a taking a toke, she'd inhale the debris. If she bought a new pack, she forced herself to take a sip. (I think Aunt Sandra has issues.) But I'll TRY the bad smellie thing, but if anyone thinks I'm drinking nicotine water? oh. guess I drank worse...but STILL--the tobacco martini ain't happenin' in my house. Anyone care to sign up?  <--that will turn to "grump" soon enough.  |
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Krawdad Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597 |
Been there, K - from two packs to zero - but it took some preparation - more later . . . got to pay the man. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Okay. I just lit one. I'll be 48 in June, and this has been a habit since I was nine. (Before that I only smoked when I drank.) It's true that I loved tobacco always--even pipes. And I smoke more now than I ever have--all my time is my own. So, I can do whatever I want with it. (I just realized I was wasting my precious beloved by TYPING.) *pause* puff puff now I ask you, what is attractive about this? My friend Kathe'--a nurse and a total Nazi anti tobacco fiend--once pointed out to me, while we sucking the heads of crawfish on the Riverwalk, a woman who was creating a small stench about her at the next table. "Look at huh! Like dat's attractive!" and I just shrugged and sucked the head of a mudbug and commented, "and this is sooooo much more beguiling..." (she actually saw the humor in that, so I was impressed with my improv--considering how militant my friend is about the smoking) She's the sort who will yell at a stranger for the damage to her lungs. After being diagnosed with the mysterious "unknown lung condition" I can't say I blame her. Bad habits should not be an imposition on others. But I suppose that would be what makes a habit BAD, huh? <--see me rationalizing already? There's a lot of good reasons for me to quit. I need money, for one thing. I have sleep apnea too. I wheeze. I have problems with anesthesia to such an extent that surgery has been postponed, and in one case, denied until it became the lesser of two evils. *pause* puff puff I mean, what am I getting out of this? It's against my very aesthetics! I like to smell nice. And I don't. I love really fine fabrics, and they are ruined by the stain and stench. Ashtrays were once amusing, but now they are not. My father died of lung cancer. Why do I do this? I mean, it's not like it's even keeping my weight down. I just made sparks, stamping out number forty. Should I even count them? If I'm serious, why don't I just say I stopped, with thirty nine cigs left in my arsenal? And btw? What happened to that money that was given to each state, way back when it was discovered and made public that tobacco companies were adding, um, chemical additives to make cigarettes even more addictive while downplaying the health risks? In Louisiana, I seem to recall that our state utilized the money on roads. *laughing* yeah we plant azaleas in our potholes. Seriously. Now, I'll fess up and tell you all I used to have a cocaine problem. (Can you imagine how annoying I was on cocaine?) I mean, I'm bad enough now. But I had no problem kicking cocaine once I figured out how it worked on the brain. It's kinda like...learning the trick to the magic act--it lost its allure. So now that I know that cigarettes work much the same way, why can't I give it up? I am the only smoker in this household and everybody else hates me for it. They hate the smell, they hate my ashtrays, they hate the mess that comes with that inevitable almost-made-it to flick the ash...and I cringe, thinking that I am indulging myself at the cost of the health of my loved ones. They even built me my own room to smoke in, but they kinda like me, so they come sit in here, in spite of the spiteful addiction of mine. I can't tell you how many great songs I've missed at concerts because I was outside smoking. I can't count the bad tables I've had in restaurants. (Karen loves a courtyard--and the mosquitoes ain't that bad and what's a little West Nile?) Sheesh. I have consistent post nasal drip, and between the nicotine and my equally beloved coffee? Well, call me Ole Yeller. *wag wag* The truth is, I'd be very happy with less butts hanging around. I'd like my room to smell purty. I just don't know what to do with my damned hands!!!  |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
I am somewhat of a closet smoker. If I am around people that don't smoke, I don't. I don't like to smoke in public because I feel "dirty" for doing so ... I rarely smoke the entire day when I am at work. or busy. I don't smoke in the morning unless something horrific has happened. I smoke on the ride home from work (often this is my first smoke of the day). I smoke at home in the evenings. I end up smoking about a half a pack a day. I don't smoke in the house (except my bathroom with the door closed and the fan on) If I am going to an appt. I will not smoke at all that day until after the appt. because I don't want to smell like smoke. Clearly, I have self hate issues over my smoking. and yet I continue to do it. Karen, keep busy. Garden, cook....things that you can't smoke during easily... "too bad ignorance isn't painful" |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
But see? This is the time I handle the bills. And yes there's another one burning in my mouth. sigh...smoke...sigh...stress... and yanno? Intellectually I know this does not relieve my stress. So WHY IS THIS THING HANGING FROM MY MOUTH? Oh stay tuned folks... love ya E, love ya Suze... I hope ya'll love me anyway. I definitely stink. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
oh man...I smoke when I sit here. *pout* |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
First of all remember this is just my opinion and experiences...if you every watched or took care of someone dying from lung cancer, it would or should make you stop smoking, although it didn't stop my brother in law who is now dying of lung cancer, as did my sister barely 5 years ago and both in their sixties. I stopped over 30 years ago when I caught a flu bug and had enough trouble breathing...and cheated a teeny bit after when I was with friends who smoked because it is always easier to smoke when among others who do...but one day I got laryngitis and if you knew me, as some do, you would know not being able to speak was terrible for me. I had the laryngitis for over a year and had to go to speech therapy to get my voice back...and that was at an agency where many who had voice boxes removed because of cancer were relearning how to speak through a hole in their throat using some kind of mechanism. I felt guilty just going there. Anyway, try taking the money you would spend on cigarettes and put it in a jar weekly and see how fast it accumulates and then use it to reward yourself for not buying cigarettes and smoking. A long ago friend use to go to Europe every year on the money saved in her jar. Just a few thoughts. And I know they always say those who use to smoke sometimes are the hardest ones to take advice from. p.s. I use to eat red licorice sticks or pretzels in place of the cigarette because a lot of it is the holding of something between the fingers..( no jokes please). ( but remember when you do stop smoking you may gain weight because your metabolism may slow down...) It is still worth the weight gain and instead you can make a new habit of exercising. Just a few thoughts Karen. No matter what, I wish you well and a long life ahead of you.  M |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Gaining weight is not an option!  I just got back into my skinny green jeans! (And I didn't even have to lay down to zip 'em up, and NO they aren't stretch jeans!) yay me? Can BobK hypnotize me through the internet? Oh wow. That's kind of a scary thought. Not that I don't trust Bob, it's just a scary thought.  And why is it, that whenever I try to do this, anything that can go wrong does? Sigh. I thought I should just try going for a walk, and then I went and stubbed my toe. (Yanno how you catch a toe on the edge of the furniture?) It's a trivial thing that hurts like the devil, huh? anyhoo.. My mom buffed her nails as a substitute, and she managed to quit smoking and lose fifty lbs. I fear this fruit fell pretty far from THAT tree though. Like right out of the orchard.  Thanks for the pep talk though, Mo. *hugs* |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
of course things are going to go wrong... it happened to me every single time I tried to quit and I just decided to ride them out. It was not easy. I cried for a week and hid in my room. I mean I sobbed...like a woman going through withdrawls. I couldn't drink for a while, cause I like to smoke when I drink. I cleaned a lot too. I think staying busy is key. Remind yourself why you don't want to. Write notes, and plaster them everywhere. Start by not smoking in certain places. Like not at the computer, or in the bathroom, or while watching tv...Read a book, and while you read don't smoke, make it a good one that is hard to put down. Make deals with yourself. Start with one hour...you get the idea...I will smoke after I do such and such...keep putting it off. It's not that you can't smoke, it's that YOU don't want to. Never mind your family doesn't want you to, what about you? It's hard...and yep, I really like tobacco too, but the fact is, it's addictive and it is killing you. You can do this. Just want to. if after this 40 it doesn't work, try again...and again... |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
 And yanno? The kids are really helping me too. I didn't realize how much faith they have in me--when did I ever give them the impression that I could do anything? And when did things turn around to THEM assuring ME that if you really put your mind to do something, anything is possible. grin Life gets weirder every day. And yeppers about the drinkie poos for a bit. I think I was overdoing it a little. Just a little. *winks to Ron* *laughing* Oh well. They call this the change, right? So, I'll try to change. No. I WILL CHANGE. I do not smoke. I do not smoke. I do not smoke. But here's some serendipity for ya Sue-sea. A representative from Philip Morris called me earlier. *ahem* I do not cuss. I do not cuss. I do not... oy, once thing at a time, eh? sheesh. |
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Essorant Member Elite
since 2002-08-10
Posts 4769Regina, Saskatchewan; Canada |
quote: How about Mills Mess? It is a great excercise for coordination of the hands, eyes, and brain.  |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Or maybe...KNIFE THROWING?  *cracking up* I've always wanted to learn how to juggle, though. Sheesh. y'made me google.  |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
I had to google as well.. I have a large air/water punching bag. "too bad ignorance isn't painful" |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Hmmm. I need to get a "round tuit" list together. 1. Learn to tango. 2. Learn to juggle. 3. Perfect the art of knife throwing. (Um, I've had some previous experience with that.) Happy Beltane everybody. I must go prepare the feast. And oh WOW! Suze, they finally tore down the blighted house on my block, and I have encouraging new numbers on New Orleans' recovery--we've recovered 89% of our initial population. Tourism is up, too. (As evidenced by the popularity of my once favorite festival, The French Quarter fest, which is now too crowded for my taste, but hey, shrug. I live here. I can have my own festival.)Let me go look up the other stuff and drop you an e mail. And in case anybody is wondering how my smoking cessation campaign is going...well, wince...I still have an unopened pack! Which is pretty good for me. I smoked more than this during my hospital stay...so I still stink, but I'm cleaning my room, and I'm bringing the exercize equipment in here. And oh...I wish I had a punching bag. I've always wanted one of those. (Have you seen the one that actually looks like a man? Pricey, but it scores points for you!) *chuckle* |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
Sorry Karen...we had a death in the family on the eve of Beltane. The grandmother of my son-in-law, so I have been busy taking care of the grand daughter and driving them here and there... I had meant to drop an email... you know who rebuilt NOLA don't you? The power, the glorious power. And in the end, isn't it that much more satisfying? I cannot wait to go and celebrate there...next year I might be out of the hole with the work leave time... The people of NOLA have given me hope for humanity. As for the smoking...well, hows it going? I thought about not buying anymore yesterday for a second. Then I realized I had a full day and was already tired/in pain. Not a good time to take the security blankie away..and that is what I am sticking to for now. I am weak! and right now, I don't care.  love you through the smoke."too bad ignorance isn't painful" |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
First, suze, my condolences. And I think I have five cigs left. (That fact that I don't know exactly is a very good sign.) It's been easier for one simple reason. I watched them demolished that blighted house, like an idiot and inhaled a bunch of whatever mystery dust blew up afterwards. (Um, by law, they are supposed to hose it down while they do this stuff.) They didn't. So I'm ..reamy and scratchy throated and cigs taste terrible right now. *chuckle* Perhaps it takes a wrecking ball to tackle Karen's addictions? I love you lady. |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
I still like my idea better ((^*)) than juggling. However, I have a few suggestions for you. You could: - Knit a sweater (send it to a child somewhere) - Crochet a bedspread (that should take a while) - Write a book (I know it's in ya) - Do online research on what to do with your hands - Cornrow/French braid your hair, undo it, and redo it - Cornrow/French braid anyone's hair! - Cornrow/French braid Annie/cats - paint your nails, remove, re-paint - Or...you could take my first suggestion, smile, and know all good things come to those that wait. Throw the last five out - let that be the starting point. Set a goal, then ready, aim, fire! Carpe' Diem, Mysteria |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Right now, I'm just trying to clean up all the ashes. I've decided to turn around my thinking too. As I said, I don't like being coerced, but it occurs to me that I should be mad at the sneaky tobacco industry. (If someone wants to disagree, please do so quietly.) I'm trying anything right now. Just short of Stephen King's "smoke-enders". But the mints help, since I smoke menthol. I'm brushing my teeth every hour too. *laughing* (For those who don't smoke, cigs taste bad when your mouth is all minty fresh.) So? I dunno. We'll see, I guess. And nope, I don't have a lot of faith in me either. But I did smoke the last of the cigs, because that wasn't truly quitting. Ya'll can get together a pool, if y'want. I'll be honest. I've told ya'll everything else. Heh. |
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latearrival Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499Florida |
As a child I sucked two fingers and I was in school when I finally stopped. Nothing seemed to work. Then I went to chewing gum, I had to wear gum on my nose in Junior High school. But that did not stop until much later when my husband once said I looked like a cow chewing it's cud. Then I started biting my nails. It seems we need to have something in our mouths. (No snickering here) Finally when I was pregnant with my first child I wanted to learn to knit, (Mysteria's thought too). I learned and made little sweaters, booties, and at that time little "soakers"(instead of rubber pants we used wool soakers). From there I tried crocheting but that was a little too hard. We have to keep our hands busy. I love the idea of your writing a book. You have so many good life time stories about your life and others you have known. But I think you smoke as you type. Maybe you should hand write them…. Over the years I got into gardening and now I do not chew gum, suck my fingers or chew on my nails. Something worked. More power to you. I need not tell you the horrors of emphysema and lung cancer I think you have seen that personally. love ya, latearrival |
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latearrival Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499Florida |
Oh, and about the smell! Where I work we have done away with having smoking rooms in any of the dorms. We used to reserve one dorm.So now when a smoker comes in I remind them they will probably want an end room so as to be closer to the outside door. Most always they ask how I knew they snoked? Do they not realize that after driving for an hour and a half from the airport in a closed car while smoking,that they reak of stale smoke? just me again. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Hey "justyou"! I did quit once before, but only for three months, and I was pregnant. (And I know, I know, shame on me for not succeeding then.) I did do some needlepoint and cross-stitch then, though. I don't know if my eyes will hold up to the teeny finer work though. But..we'll see? *wince* *wink* |
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sandgrain Member Elite
since 1999-09-21
Posts 3662Sycamore, IL, USA |
Can you belive I quit just a couple years ago after way too many years of puffing away? How well I know what you mean about your hands. My friend broke several necklaces when she quit because she kept twisting on them. You know how being told, "Don't think of a pink elephant," goes. The same is true with, 'can't smoke,' 'quit smoking,' 'give up smoking' etc. All it does is frustrate us. I've been there, done that over and over. I, too, played all those games of having just one with my coffee, or cutting it to only so many I'd count out for the day, week, etc. Also that idea of doing 150 things with the constant thought of when I'm done with all these things, I can smoke. None of it works. I had to step off as an ex-smoker from the very beginning, telling myself a non smoker smells better like I do as I shower. They have clean smelling clothes like these I'm putting on, clean kitchens as I clean mine up, appreciation of deep breaths of fresh air as I step outside, etc. Just keep telling yourself all the positive things a non-smoker enjoys, while you follow in those footsteps. Sometimes I think of those ex-smokers who became so intolorant of smokers, and wonder if they weren't telling themselves,this is how non-smokers deal with it, and I'm a non-smoker. Therefore, smoke is disgusting and those who partake should be shunned or avoided. Karen, you have so many talents and you are a very strong person, I know you can handle this. I'm not saying it's easy, but if you truly want to quit, just act and do what non-smokers do and you'll be one, too. My cousin by marriage works for Phillip Morris and she quit smoking quite some time ago. Imagine that, while riding around with a van full of cigarettes. If she could and I could, surely you can and will! God bless, Rae |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Oh Rae, I wish I wouldn't have come in here to disappoint you. I made it for...27 hours and nearly forty five minutes. I couldn't do it. I cried like a baby, but that was after I screamed like a banshee. My daughter was a comfort though--she did walk to the store with me and told me that I don't always have to go at everything "hardball", and like you, she told me that just because I failed this time doesn't mean I should stop trying to climb the wall. (Um, I thought I was climbing the walls.  )But I did say I'd be honest, and I did make it longer this time (without hospital supervision!) And yes ma'am, I'm really disappointed that I didn't make it. (I did fine as long as not smoking was all I had to cope with! )And yanno what else? I think I've been fighting withdrawals ever since I joined Pip. Nod. I've been through a lot here, and I had good company all the way. I'm actually kind of amused that I'm battling the LEGAL addictions now! I just read that, and that's not so amusing. I'll try again. But I wanted to let everybody who knew I'd fail, I failed. But I WILL try again. |
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Krawdad Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597 |
K, Don't give up already. Now you know something else that doesn't work. Okay, write that off. I can tell you what I did. It might work for you. A little history first. I remember my first one, shared with a neighbor kid one summer afternoon. It was a scavenged Camel, probably half smoked by his father. Well, why not start off with a bang? Cough-cough-cough. But, hey, it was a cig, a tempting no-no, and empowering for a 12? year old, when TV was new and so was the macho Marlboro Man. The habit built slowly, until the purveyors were handing out those mini four-packs ([Edited - Ron]) in the hallways and cafeterias of colleges and universities. They knew the hook and line and they sank it in, deeply. And then there was the freshman roommate, guitar plucking, world traveling, son of a Chicago neurosurgeon who kept that cramped dorm room in a blue haze funk, Chilean smokes and all (they were awful by the way). As I recall, there was nothing evil or nasty about it then, or we didn't know it, although stairwells and other such places smelled pretty bad at the time. And when they weren't free, being handed out, they were cheap. Those were also the days when anything that burned got smoked - tobacco, that is. You name it, I probably tried it, including what cigars we could get, or afford, and pipes were great fun even if you weren't very good at it. Then there followed the Ft. Campbell PX - cheap cheap cheap and everybody did it. And who cared then? You were going to get sent over there and die anyway - light 'em up, boys. It was in grad school a few years later when it started to get to me. The health message had been around awhile, there was the guilt of stinking up the lab for folks who didn't smoke, and the cost of a pack from a vending machine had gone up to 40 cents. 40 cents? Yup, just a bit less than a gallon of gas. The only income I had was the GI bill and an assistant-ship. I had cheap housing in my grandfather's old place, but that meant a commute and I needed gas and parking money. What to do? Quit? Well, ya, but how the h***? Outright quiting, RIGHT NOW, wasn't going to work - and probably works for few, if any. The nicotine supplements dealt only with the nicotine and not the habit (key point here - the habit, not the nicotine). There were only pills then, and they didn't really work, maybe today's patches would have. Okay, try the worst smelling, worst tasting junk you can get your hands on and make yourself sick of it all. Nope. That didn't work either. I just tasted bad and smelled worse. Don't inhale? Hahaha! I was starting to wake up in the wee hours, coughing up brown phlegm. Still, there was that necessary morning cigarette . . . You might think it impossible to do, being a full time commuting grad student with a teaching assistant-ship. No pressure. Got to have that crutch (another clue). The profs and the fellow students - everybody is doing it - well most everybody (clue). And the commute? Oh, ya, the dropped lit cig or the smoke in the eyes in traffic. Never had a wreck, but you get the picture (another clue). Girlfriend who doesn't smoke - another problem. Okay, enough history, your history is different, but now you can identify. Plan/scheme/tactic/strategy/trickery: Remember, this is well after the fact, some 35 years, and seems more like a plan now then it did at the time. It was more like what I would now call adaptive management - study the process, dump what doesn't work and try to follow and build on little things that do work, adapting as you go. Now we'll get to it. 1. It is your habit - nobody else's - this is important - get to know it. When do you do it, why do you do it, where do you do it? Get to know it, piece by piece, cig by cig. Watch it coming. This is key. Think you have already done this part? I saw things I hadn't really noticed before. 2. Don't ask anyone to help, it's your habit, remember. Even better if you can start doing this without anyone else in on the secret. This gives you the freedom and confidence to pace yourself. That way no one is expecting anything - who needs that? - you are not doing this for anyone else, just yourself. You want someone watching your every move? I didn't. 3. Do not think of it as forever, 'cause it isn't, but you can still quit. (Just a little riddle, this.) Forever is way too steep a climb when you are looking up at it and you honestly believe that you like smoking. (I did.) 4. Have you studied it yet? Your own habit? Okay. Now study a couple of other smokers you know. Piece by piece. What are they doing? Why? When? Certain places? Certain times? Before something? After something? Instead of something? I watched others follow patterns that were soon entirely predictable and to a good degree calculated (semi-consciously, perhaps). You'll see a bunch of parallels, and they might look a little silly on someone else. Clue - think of yourself as editor of their poem, or your own poem? (New idea I just thought of and probably works better for a word minimalist like me than a rambler like you.) 5. Okay, here it comes. You are going to edit yourself. Pick one piece of your habit. Choose one that looks easy to do. A little one. One that will hardly be noticed, by you or anyone else. When it goes missing, eh, so what? For me, I think the first pick was the morning commute to my lab/classroom. I had already had a couple by then, probably, and planned to have one when I got my car parked. So, no quiting. Just a time out. Only 20 minutes. This one was easy to rationalize because it was also dangerous (at least as bad as a cell phone is today, 'cept the cell phone is likely to burn only your ear). And, no one but me knew if I was doing it or not (an important part for me). This did not affect my addiction to nic., only my habit, and only just a little bit. Not very difficult. Okay, you don't drive, so pick something else out of your routine. This went on for some time before I picked off another piece, maybe it was in the lab, don't remember the sequence, but I did it, and I still kept on smoking at other times, in other places, with abandon. What this did, obviously, was to trick myself into being satisfied at not having one until later while being assured that I could and would. They weren't gone forever, just a little while. No panic. No quiting forever (you've got to get over that notion in order to get a head start). Just pick one place, time, event where you can delay the next light-up, but then go ahead and have it when it's over - have two, I probably did. If you can manage that small challenge, you can pick a second time, place, or event, and do the same thing with it, and then you are headed down a new road. Take your time. Still, don't tell anyone, at least I didn't. You may be teasing yourself with the failure option that way, but it worked for me. And, I was gaining on everybody else and they didn't know it. They didn't see me coming! 6. To make a long story short . . . After some few months of these mini no smoking sessions, I was working on my thesis one weekend - the field work was all done, data was in, references compiled, just had to write the blasted thing. Back then you had to type it out (white-out not allowed) on premium paper. Long frustrating hours. It was late Friday night - I was down to butts - I could have walked down to the village bar to get a pack. I didn't. Decided to wait until morning - what's one more delay? I can smoke a pack or two tomorrow. No panic. I had done this delay thing many times before. In the morning I decided to take a break from the thesis and work out in my veggie garden, my alternate high intensity activity - it was huge. After lunch I decided to wait until I needed to get groceries. Went back to the thesis. Saturday night I figured I really didn't need groceries just yet. I found myself on the way to my lab Monday morning and still hadn't bought a pack. How did I manage that? WOW! Surprise, surprise! After Monday it was just one day at a time. There was always tomorrow, tomorrow, and tomorrow. (Now lookie there, procrastination is good for something!) Every day got a little easier. From that week on, I never looked back. I didn't tell anyone what I had done until someone asked and by that time I was proud of it and I couldn't go back. Two packs to zero. Okay, there was that big cigar at the graduation picnic I threw for myself . . . cough, cough. e [This message has been edited by Ron (05-07-2009 11:56 AM).] |
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sandgrain Member Elite
since 1999-09-21
Posts 3662Sycamore, IL, USA |
He's right. Don't beat yourself up over it. I made several attempts before I finally quit. How well I know about climbing the walls or crying because you feel you just can't hold off any longer...been there, done that. One fellow told me he put a rubbwer band around his pack to hold a paper and pen. Each time he was about to have a cigarette, he held off lighting it until he could write down how he felt and why he needed to have it. He said at first it was easy, but then it brought him to the realization that he was just absentmindedly lighting them up. This also gave him a clearer picture as to when and why he smoked. Often, it's at the completion of a project, after a meal, or while waiting...for the mail to come, the potatoes to boil, the dryer to finish, etc. We also learn we may be smoking when we're Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired, (HALT). Funny, I remember every time I was going to quit, (starting tomorrow) I'd smoke twice as much tonight. I even left my cigs in my car trunk so I'd have to make a real effort to go get one. Please don't say you've failed because you haven't and you'll manage to quit, even though you may have lapses. Don't throw the towel in, there's too much at stake. God bless, Rae |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I am very hoarse and kinda tired, but Kraw? I already did edit myself, because, and I'm very embarrassed to admit--my husband was accustomed to telling others I was the only person he knew who actually woke up to take a cigarette break from sleeping. Nod. I started a fire in my own pillow. And E, and Rae, I always justified my habits by stating I hurt none but me, but I could have burned the house down...and after losing loved ones, I really need to respect myself as much as my loved ones do. I am going to try a plan a friend of mine suggested--I'll switch to um, I think it's American Spirit or something like that, but the idea is that I negotiate myself down to the point where I'm addicted to only nicotine. You do know that our U.S. brand cigs are treated with a chemical that "quick-dries" tobacco leaves, and makes our tobacco all the more addictive. I don't know... This depresses the hell out of me. My daughter is right. I did honestly believe I had the tenacity to charge through a stone-stack wall. And hey--I have gone cold turkey on many drugs--but this time I think I might try some actual help. This one is like leaping hurdles in a long jump--I've been smoking since I was nine. So that means, that as of my birthday, I have been smoking forty years. *smile* Now that's downright biblical. Love to you both, and thank you. I won't stop trying. (Well, I will, but I'll take up the cause again--I'm a bit moody. *chuckle*) |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
quote: When they're not writing, put them in hot water. Try the lozenges and patches if necessary. Count up the dollars gone up in smoke and round it out to a year's time. You really want to throw THAT much money away? Yeah, I know, my hubby went back to smoking too. I'm a real witch around him when he lights up around ME and destroying MY lungs, which are already genetically approved by both sides of my family for emphysema. Karen - you remember my brother, Fagan? You're what, in your 40's? He died at age 52, from his beloved cigarette and other complications due to the emphysema. And to be even a little more rough, you really don't want to see your grandchildren? Mom asked me one time to write a lovely but explicitly direct letter to my Dad because in between times of keeping away from the cigs, there were the few times he would sneak one. Just one. But it always seemed that was when Mom would walk in.  And you think I'm a witch? Even my cackle is improving...but Mom was devious too. Like getting her daughter to write her Dad and say something to the effect that,"I'll be glad when we can move closer to home, Dad, so you can see your grandgirls more often. I really want them to be able to do the things with you that you did with me - fishing, walking the beach, showing them how to climb trees, and how to run fast. They also need to learn how to ride a bike - you'll be here for them, won't you?" And the letter went on for a bit, well, long enough for my dad to get really, really mad and what ended up funny was that my sister was really concerned because Dad got really mad and stomped out of the house - and she read the letter and got mad at ME for upsetting Dad - not knowing that Mom asked me to do this in the first place. So my question is, do you want your daughter to ever write a letter similar to this one, to you? Nah. You want to save up the dollars you spend on cigs and put them in a can so that when you ARE graced with grandchildren - and you will be - you will be able to take them [pre-mortem] to lovely places and share wonderful times on the cigarette money that didn't go up in smoke. I'm ON YOUR SIDE to do what you can to kick this one, honey. If you hadn't brought up this subject, I would have left you alone about it. But you did. And so have I.  |
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Kaoru
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892where the wild flowers grow |
I need to quit, too. Problem is, I don't know if I want to. I try about once a month and get fussed at for being a crab. Well, give me a smoke and my lovin' comes out like that's the secret. I, for one, know of the risks. I can't sleep at all so that's probably one of the contributing factors..but hell, I cut down a lot when I decided to start smoking outside instead of in the smoke room..it was the middle of winter up here and I never wanted to smoke..it hurt to, actually. So, maybe try going out to do it, even though you have nice weather it's still more of a chore to have to get up and go outside to do it. I never leave my smokes by my computer, either.. makes them too accessible. |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
K, I'm not going to tell you the dangers of smoking or why you should quit because you already know them... and I can't offer suggestions on HOW to reach your smoke-free goal because I've never lit a cigarette. But I can say that... while this is your journey... you don't have to make it alone. Any time, day or night... to whine and cry or scream... I'm at the other end of the phone. And I believe in you, lady. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Karilea--where the heck have ya been? and thank you Kaoru, too. I put made this public for the emotional support, and the great advice I always receive from all ye wise folk. This one is one of the toughest things I've ever tried to kick. And I have a little experience in some tough habits. Nod. To give you an idea what a tough hold this has on people, last night I went out to the Quarter, and I am no longer as generous with the stogies as I once was. I kept telling one guy no, until he gave me two bucks for a single cigarrette. I did ask him that if money wasn't an issue, why didn't he just go buy a pack? And he replied that he didn't want to start up "all the way" again. M'self? It's all or nothing. My brother has the ability to smoke only when he goes out. And that's the only time he smokes. I wish I could be like that... And btw, I did receive an Rx for that "chantrix" stuff. My insurance wouldn't cover it, and it's kinda pricey. I'm puzzled as to why my health care provider is not more supportive of my efforts, too. But they do a lot of stuff that just doesn't make financial sense to me. So I dunno. I'll try the "ween" method. And Kaoru? I don't think I ever actually wanted to quit before this time. But I'm at this place in my life where I'm wondering what it is like to just wake up feeling good. When the doc suggested to me that I stop drinking hard liquor (I was totally honest about my habits with the guy.) He said he knew that it was unlikely that I'd quit drinking completely, so he suggested I just tone it down to red wine (and oh, I am allowed BEER) and yes, I have slipped, and it's shocking to me now how bad the stuff makes me feel. Equally shocking is how much better I feel emotionally. I always thought that alcohol was alcohol--in any form, and the folks who boasted that they drank only wine or beer was just kidding themselves. But the good doc said that at least the lesser of the evils have some nutritional value. So yep, I know I'm not around Pip as much as I once was, but that's because I'm going out. I'd forgotten how much I truly enjoy "my people". And btw? I had a freaking blast again. Chicks did me. *chuckle* At least I think they were chicks. And Kari? While I was in my beloved French Quarter, it did occur to me that if I had all the money I ever spent on bad habits, I could have one of those sweet homes with the beautiful balconies... sigh and smile...My desire to live there nearly has me considering trying again to write something. And yeah, for the money. Why not try to make money doing what you love to do? I actually tossed a screenplay I'd worked on when I'd lost my dog Fred. I thought it was just fun and rather silly. I called it "Finding Fred". I thought why add to the slew of lost dog movies that already exist. Now there's a BUNCH of dog movies out there. I have some other ideas...and I know it's a long shot, but hey? If it happened for Diablo Cody...? *grin* So I'll think about it. Ciao for now, folks. I love you all. *smooch* (My breath stinks, huh?) sigh... |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Ruth? I just totally adore you. Folks, she is truly one of the kindest people on the planet. |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
My doctor told me that most insurance companies don't pay for Chantrix because the success rate isn't that good, Karen. Of course I don't know how they know that since it hasn't been available for very long and I don't know how many studies of the effectiveness they could possibly have done by now. Maybe it has more to do with the price, it being a relatively new drug on the market, and the insurers are waiting for it to become a little more affordable before they will agree to subsidize it? |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I dunno either. But insurance companies have baffled me ever since they insisted I submit to two separate MRI's, when one would have sufficed if they had only given me the "dye". But my husband just purchased a couple of packs of an additive free brand of cigarettes. And call it serendipity, call it the wagging finger of God, but I just now discovered that yet another friend has inoperable lung cancer... That's the second one in two weeks. What's scary is that my friend quit smoking 15 years ago. The word "cancer" is now ranked number one on my obscenity list. sigh Much love and luck to any and all of you who are trying to kill the dreadful monkey along with me. And thank you for your understanding. |
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Titia Geertman Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182Netherlands |
Well, sorry Karen, I'm of no use to you with this problem. I'm a smoker  who never tried to stop and probably never will.Geez, I'll be a rarity in a couple of years.But...I'll keep my fingers crossed for you and just know that I'll never condemn you if you won't make it. The smell of smoke can't be worse than the smell of sheep (in my case) LOL But it did happen, when Mommy Muys had to go to the hospital and I had to give a letter from the doctor to the girl behind the desk, that she asked me if I had smoked a cigarette in my car. She could smell it on the envelop.  Like scattered leaves...my words will flow |
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sandgrain Member Elite
since 1999-09-21
Posts 3662Sycamore, IL, USA |
Karen, this interesting thread is like watching an ongoing "soap," or maybe it's like a confessional. LOL Now we're learning about all of us who have/had this habit. For so many years, it seemed almost everyone smoked. When I was in real estate, the car ashtreys filled up so quickly, and you never sat down to write a contract without coffee and and an ashtrey. As time passed, more and more I felt so dirty and like a black sheep for being the lone smoker. My wonderful mom died of emphasema, complicated by ovarian cancer. She told me more than once, that she prayed I'd quit and never have to go through that. It made me cry, but not quit. Now isn't that sad? Rebecca quit quite a while before her cancer bout. She smoked so much, her walls were yellow. I was so elated when she quit, but I still puffed away, although not around her. My husband quit many years before I did and I recalled scowling at my sister who continued smoking after her husband quit, and saying, "If my husband quit, I'd definitely quit." HA! Talk was cheap! The apostle, Paul, in the bible, wrote that he does what his mind does not want him to do. My late mom-in-law, who never smoked, used to come stand over or next to me, no matter where I was smoking, and cough and wave her hands around to clear the smoke. I loved her, and understood she thought she'd help me not smoke. Actually, it only tended to make me nervous and want to go far away to smoke in peace. It's that old story of no one can help someone unless they're ready and wanting to be helped. Even if I was ready, that was not the kind of help I wanted. Karen, I think you're used to smoking, but really serious about quitting. I'll be praying for you unless that would tend to make you nervous and angry. LOL God bless, Rae P.S. HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Rae, I know it's not the same, coming from me, but I wanted you to know that I hold you in my heart, thoughts and prayers this day. thank you just for being... |
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Bob K Member Elite
since 2007-11-03
Posts 4208 |
Dear Serenity, Congratulations on quitting successfully for 27 hours. What was that time like? How did it feel to be tobacco free for that time? What did you do during that time to keep yourself going successfully? And what do you need to build on that fine start so that you can get more of the good stuff that you actually did get, and what can you do and how can we help you eliminate some of the stuff that got in your way? Let's see if we can arrange for the next quitting and learning step to be at least as long, and for you to be able to examine what you've learned much more quickly. Remember that in the end it has to be even more rewarding moment to moment to quit than it is to continue. Love, Bob Kaven |
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sandgrain Member Elite
since 1999-09-21
Posts 3662Sycamore, IL, USA |
AHA! Bob knows how to do this right. Seek out the positive and build on it. I find so much positive about you, Karen, but I have no idea how to impliment it into your goal to be smoke free. That's definitely the way to go. Thanks for the prayer, Karen. I need them. God bless, Rae |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
smile... Thank you, Bob. (and as always, Rae) That day was like walking around without a cane--I felt a little unsteady on my "emotional feet". You'd think I'd be used to that by now. But the positive was that when I woke up, I realized I hadn't been wheezing. I didn't have an ashtray mouth either. And if we gonna go through the whole psychology of it, I went to buy a pack when a family bickering started. (I can't even begin to convey how much I hate bickering.) When everybody lost their tempers, I was about to lose mine, so I figured I'd rather do damage to myself than to anyone else. (Yelling "Stop it, stop it, stop it" at a houseful of people didn't seem to give me the same satisfaction.) Um, and neither option worked either. Triggers? laughing Sitting here is one. Going out is a big one. (I ran into an old friend Friday night--she smokes in the shower and there's many more. Morning coffee, after meals, and this one is embarrassing--I realized that I would take cigarette breaks while doing housework. Yanno? That housework never seemed to get done? *smile* Thanks all. I should be on a patch by the end of the week. And yep, I'm a little skeered. I hate failing at anything yanno. *pout* |
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Bob K Member Elite
since 2007-11-03
Posts 4208 |
Dear Serenity, The first couple of hundred times you tried to stand up you fell on your can, I'd be willing to bet my usual nickel max on. Used to be a penny: A guy's got to modernize, even if only to keep up with inflation. Let's see. You found that you enjoyed breathing, and that your wheezing was cut down or gone within a day. And that you'd gotten your ability to notice things back a bit. Sounds like that may be one of the nice things that you use smoking for, not to notice things? Like grumbly and feisty family? Any truth to that? Say, Thank you, smoking. And try meaning it if there's any truth in it. The smoking's been doing a job for you here since you were nine years old. Is there some thing that you can do that might work better than what a nine year old can come up with to help you cope with scary family bickering? It needs to work better and to feel safer to that same scared nine year old who picked up the butts. Is there something? She needs to feel safer and more protected and ... what? ...happier? What does that mean needs to be different when you next quit. What should you keep an eye on then? What do you think will make it easier? My suggestion about seeing a good Ericksonian hypnotist or somebody well trained in NLP still stands, by the way, and would make the whole thing much easier for you. Keep in mind that you already have quit, and that you're gathering information about what worked well so you can learn more and put it into practice next time. Keep on trucking, Mama. All my best, Bob Kaven |
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