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dont know what to do
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dont know what to do |
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hunnie_girl
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
Well.. being me I dont usually need advice on relationships really... but no I really dont knwo what to do. My boyfriends parents are JW's and they dont believe in celebrating.. ANYTHING well except anniversaries. Well see thats where the real problem starts although my bf is not a JW. he was not raised in celebrating so he sees no point in them. well my family and I well we are like celebration maniacs we go all out for every occation. any day there is a stat holiday we always spend it together and have a huge fancy meals and all that jazz.. well I just(as of two mins ago)I asked if he would spend x mas with my family(thought I'd ask early) he tried everything in his power to convince me he was probably going to be busy by going to see his grand dad. he said its more of an obligation but if it was an obligation wouldnt he rather spend it with the people he loves.... I dont know how to convice him that what we are doing is not so bad.. its a great thing to celebrate with the people you love and who care for you. its not about the presents... its about getting together and just being together... but he just wont inderstand. He alsways tells me holidays are dumm and its a pagan thing but I dont agree. well like all fairy tale relationships him and I are planning on spending the rest of our lives together and well if I do marry him and have kids with him then what... I cant let my future children not have the luxury of what I grew up with... I dont know what to do.... ~me~ |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
not knowing your age, I am assuming you are young and that marriage is years away for you. Why not celebrate every day as if it has meaning, then a holiday will make no difference to your boyfriend. Holidays are great but I can understand that they have become so commercialized that even those who celebrate are forgetting their true meaning. Have him over for a regular dinner...let him get use to your family. If it works great and if he can't enjoy what you enjoy then marriage probably won't work. I am married to someone of another religion and we respect and share in each other's holidays but we don't have children which could be a very confusing subject for them. His family is very important to him and he probably doesn't want to do anything against their beliefs. Besides you can't force anyone into believing something they don't. Just my opinion. Wishing you happiness, M |
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hunnie_girl
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
Thank you  .. I guess you are right and I have realized that... But the thing is he's met my whole family and well.. he loves them all and they love him.. it's like...a hand in a glove. But i guess.. I should just wait and see if he'll give in on his own instead of pushing him to do things...thanks  Krysti |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
I think that's a good idea Krysti and who knows ...in time he may decide you are correct  M |
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Ron
Administrator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-05-19
Posts 8669Michigan, US |
quote: Or . . . you could accept him the way he is? Only you can decide if this particular issue is a deal-breaker for you. Everyone, of course, has their own deal-breakers, non-negotiable things that make a lasting relationship impossible. You shouldn't have to change to accommodate these kinds of issues. But neither should anyone else be required to change. A relationship, after all, should be about finding someone with whom we can be compatible. It's not about creating someone who matches our ideals. Do you love him for who he is? Or do you love him for who you want him to be? |
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hunnie_girl
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
well see.. I do love him, for everything he is well all but not celebrating holidays. everything else is so.... perfect. and I dint find out he didnt believe in holidays until after I fell in love with him... But you are right Ron.. although its hard to change the way I feel.. I guess I will have to... thanks Ron I know what i'm going to do now |
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