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How to keep a healthy level of insanity
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How to keep a healthy level of insanity |
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dreamer1 12 5 24 Member
since 2000-12-11
Posts 150crossing between |
HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY This was e-mailed to me and it was so funny I had to post it. Enjoy! (This was funny for the most part- I think #14 is disrespectful to the amazing art of poetry, but oh well) 1) At lunch time, sit in your parked car w/sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down. 2) Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice. 3) Insist that your e mail address is: Xena-Warrior-Princess@OCDSB.edu.on.ca or Elvis-the-King@OCDSB.edu.on.ca 4) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that. 5) Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN." 6) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso. 7) In the memo field of all your cheques , write " FOR SEXUAL FAVOURS". 8) Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy." 9) Dont use any punctuation 10) As often as possible, skip rather than walk. 11) Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer. 12) Specify that your drive-through order is "to go." 13) Sing along at the opera. 14) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme. 15) Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day. 16) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood. 17) Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard. 18) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won!", "I Won!" "3rd time this week!!!" 19) When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!" 20) Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go." And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity.... 21) Copy this and e-mail to everyone in your address book, even if they have already sent it to you or have asked you not to send them stuff like this. ....peace as a primary objective is dangerous because it implies that we would sacrifice any principle for the sake of it.... |
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| © Copyright 2001 Adam Everett - All Rights Reserved | |||
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Hahaha I liked the one about the mosquito netting. I might do that! |
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Just A Woman Senior Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 507 |
LOL! I liked that!  "Often the test of courage is not to die but to live" |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
LMAO  "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, |
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DancinQueen
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092Kokomo,IN,USA |
i like #20 ¤Sometimes the hardest thing to get over, is something you never really had¤ |
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JLR Senior Member
since 2001-02-04
Posts 1785 |
Hilarious!! |
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Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
Funny! |
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PhaerieChild Senior Member
since 1999-08-30
Posts 1787Aloha, Oregon |
This is great!! Laughed all the way through. Thanks for the giggles. How can you save me? |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
AMEN!!!!!!!! "The eye sees a thing more clearly in dreams than the imagination awake." |
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Dream-eagle Junior Member
since 2001-03-07
Posts 34Indiana, USA |
hehe I think I am going to use the atm one next time I have a friend with me when I go to pick up some money |
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