»
Discussion
»
pipTalk Lounge
»
I was just hit on by a teenage girl
| pipTalk Lounge |
|
I was just hit on by a teenage girl |
|
|
the_loner_23 Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479Jacksonville, Florida, USA 
|
A 16 year old lesbian hit on me. Sorry I have never had a girl hit on me. She said, "Maybe we should start going out." What would ya'll do in a situation like this? I like guys. Men are gods in my eyes. Some are pigs I have to admit. But it weirded me out when I got hit on by a girl. Cold hands means a warm heart [This message has been edited by the_loner_23 (10-09-2002 11:44 PM).] |
||
| © Copyright 2002 the_loner_23 - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Miah Senior Member
since 2002-08-26
Posts 1062Pennsylvania |
Well, first I would of asked where she wanted to go? To the mall? the zoo? It depends on what she really meant.  But, if she meant out on a date then I would have said thanks but I'm straight, but maybe we can be friends. Something along that lines. I had this happen before, I woulden't let it bother you.  |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
SOme of you women are also pigs... you enjoy throwing out insults, loner? |
||
|
the_loner_23 Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479Jacksonville, Florida, USA |
I didn't mean to be insulting. I was just saying how I felt. I am sorry. Cold hands means a warm heart |
||
|
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
hmmm...women "hit" on me alot...so much so, that I once bet the hubby $100 that we could both go out together and I could "pick up" a woman before he did.  He didn't take me up on it. I've no idea WHY you are so repulsed by that. It never bothered ME. *shrug* In fact, I was quite often flattered as most were quite attractive--perhaps if this happens again you might just try saying "I appreciate the fact that you appreciate me, but I happen to be prefer men." Also...you might want to be a bit more careful about those exclamations of "ew..." Sometimes it takes YEARS for a person to come to terms with their sexuality, be it of a homosexual leaning or not. In the meantime, you could unknowingly be insulting friends that you LOVE. And, just for the sake of conversation, loner? If a friend of yours did openly admit that they were homosexual--would you no longer be able to be their friend? If you answer that you could not in good conscience continue the friendship, I might suggest to YOU that you never WERE a friend.  |
||
|
the_loner_23 Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479Jacksonville, Florida, USA |
I have a couple gay friends. But they never hit on me. But if they told me they liked me I would just have to explain to them that I am straight. I could never turn away from any of my friends. You made a good point Serenity. Cold hands means a warm heart |
||
|
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
How do you know it was a 'date' she wanted? Maybe she just thinks you're a cool person to hang out with? |
||
|
the_loner_23 Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479Jacksonville, Florida, USA |
Because the way she put it. Trust me. I know when I am being hit on. But I am gonna let it go. Cold hands means a warm heart |
||
|
Ron
Administrator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-05-19
Posts 8669Michigan, US |
Would you have been "weirded out" if the person was of a different race? If they were quadriplegic or blind? Homophobia is just a slightly more insidious form of bigotry and expressing "how you felt" is just a slightly more subtle way of spreading it. When you find yourself uncomfortable because people are different than you are, you should stop to ask yourself why. You may discover the fault lies not with them. |
||
|
the_loner_23 Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479Jacksonville, Florida, USA |
You made a good point Ron. It is just I am not used to getting hit on by girl. I didn't know how to deal with the situation. Cold hands means a warm heart |
||
|
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
You just smile and treat her with the respect she deserves. |
||
|
the_loner_23 Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479Jacksonville, Florida, USA |
Poet deVine I will do just that. I know I freaked out. But this is a first for me. But I know how to deal with it next time now. Thanks!!!! Cold hands means a warm heart |
||
Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
I understand your side to this loner, sometimes things like that make people uncomfortable, you are entitled to your feelings. However, I also see others points. Ron's last sentiments are true; looking within can be the hardest thing. Try to be empathetic...sexuality tends to be greyer than most realize. Why is it that we are at our most ingenius only when trying to destroy the things that keep us alive and thriving? |
||
|
the_loner_23 Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479Jacksonville, Florida, USA |
Totally understood Jenn. Also to any I have offended with this post I am sorry. I am not used to this. But now I know how to deal with it. Cold hands means a warm heart |
||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Another thing to consider, loner. Anyone from anywhere can join PiP. If that particular person were to join PiP, see this thread, see your picture... suffice to say, had I said anything like this, I would be very uncomfortable. Yes, there's truth, and we should speak our feelings, but there is also consideration, compassion, and knowing when to keep our thoughts to ourselves. |
||
|
Opeth Senior Member
since 2001-12-13
Posts 1543The Ravines |
If it "weirds" you to be hit on by a lesbian, so it does. You are who you are. You are not acting improperly on your feeling of weirdness. You are not being discriminitive because you felt that way. Do not now feel shame for the way you feel. You do not have to be politically correct. Mind you, I am not condoning your feelings. I am merely stating that you have the right to feel "weirded" by what happened to you. If at some point in time being hit on by a lesbian doesn't make you feel strange, so be it, if not, so be it. Good luck. |
||
|
Ron
Administrator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-05-19
Posts 8669Michigan, US |
Opeth, I disagree. You are essentially arguing that people have a "right" to hate. Without guilt. To me, that's a bit like saying a person has a "right" to get cancer. I don't recognize a person's right to self-destructive behavior, though I do think most alternatives are usually worse, and I suspect using the word "rights" with an act of questionable volition is tantamount to an oxymoron. But even were I to grant you a "right" to your feelings, the expression of those feelings falls under no such right. Whether you want to put a bullet in someone's head or let loose with a big long "ewwww," your hate has now infringed on the rights of others. I don't for a minute believe anyone has either a Constitutional nor a God-given right to hate, but I KNOW they don't have a right to hurt people who are themselves doing no one any harm. Feelings are the harbingers of actions, and I personally believe that anyone wallowing in the muck of hate and bigotry SHOULD feel shame. Guilt is a powerful motivator of change. And make no mistake, hate can be changed. Hate is a choice, an all too easy choice, made when we reject the much more difficult task of understanding. People are more than simply the sum of their actions and when you make the effort to see beyond the actions, to the person and their history, hate will inevitably dissipate. You cannot hate what you truly understand. |
||
bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Lord, please don't bring back a dead thread ... And, Loner, it can be strange; but always remember, we are all human, and therefore equally deserving of the truth. A lot of the times, I've found, people who react strongly to another creed or kind? They're the ones who need to take a look and see what needs fixing about *themselves*. It's a good lesson to learn. I'm glad you're getting to the level of learning it. (some never do) And now I will exit this thread -- I have a promise to myself never to enter these types of discussions on PIP.  Much love. Mikey |
||
|
Anvrill Senior Member
since 2002-06-21
Posts 710in the interzone now |
I've been hit on by a girl once, and checked out by a girl once. I think it's cool. You have enough appeal to be checked out/hit on by people of both sexes. You must have universal appeal! Really, if someone wants to let you know they're interest, doesn't matter who/what they are, it's just nice to know that there are people interested. Right now, guy or girl, I'd hafta turn anyone down, since I'm so in love it's not even funny, but I'd definitely thank them for asking. remember the sound |
||
|
Anvrill Senior Member
since 2002-06-21
Posts 710in the interzone now |
Oh, oh, oh! I have to add this one thing. I used to hate myself soooo much, saw no worth in myself whatsoever, so the first time a guy hit on me, I freaked out! I wondered what was wrong with him, actually. And it's not that the thought of dating men freaks me out, 'cause that's sorta what I've been doing since I started, but firsts are very scary things.I was used to it by the time a girl hit on me, though. remember the sound |
||
|
Opeth Senior Member
since 2001-12-13
Posts 1543The Ravines |
Ron, "You are essentially arguing that people have a "right" to hate." ~ You came to that conclusion by what I wrote in my reply? On what basis? I merely stated she had the right to feel "weird" about being approached by someone of the same sex, and in fact I didn't even condone that particular behavior, so how you ever crossed into your assumption, I have no idea, except for maybe out of contemptment for what I wrote. "To me, that's a bit like saying a person has a "right" to get cancer." ~ Say what? "I don't recognize a person's right to self-destructive behavior," ~ Who is talking about self-destructive behavior, not I, not the originator of this thread, only you. "Feelings are the harbingers of actions, and I personally believe that anyone wallowing in the muck of hate and bigotry SHOULD feel shame." ~ !!! She does not have to be shameful for feeling "weird" about being approached. It was natural for her to feel that way. "Guilt is a powerful motivator of change. And make no mistake, hate can be changed. Hate is a choice, an all too easy choice,..." ~ What does hate have to do with feeling unconfortable about being approached in a sexual way? I have been approached by women and felt uncomfortable, it didn't mean that I hate any of them. An example of true tolerance A truly tolerant person is one who stands in the middle of the street and looks to her left and views the pro-choice screaming at those on her right, on which he turns and views the right-to-lifers screaming at those to her left. She accepts them both, even if either side makes her feel uncomfortable, or if she doesn't agree, or if she cannot fully understand, it doesn't matter... While they are blinded towards each other, she can truly see. |
||
|
Irie Senior Member
since 1999-12-01
Posts 1493Washington State |
I was simply going to offer my hugs in this thread then leave. But after reading part of Opeths reply I had to add to it. Opeth, I have a prime example of being sexually approached and being made to feel uncomfortable. I bowl every Wednesday night on a league. Last night I wore my “doo-rag”, (bandana type of thing) due to a bad hair day! HeheAnyway, I walked into the lounge to order a drink and while I am standing there this guy walks up to me and says “Hey Baby, why don’t you let me tie you up with that bandana later tonight?” I said “aint gonna happen” He replies snidely “What are you so pissed off about?” I said “You!” and walked away. It made me extremely uncomfortable and quite frankly pissed me off. There was NOTHING flattering about that and it was rude. Personally, I felt like throttling him into oblivion! OK, I feel better now. Anyway, back to my original intent to this thread.... HUGS to everyone!  ~Sheri "Don't wait for your ship to come in ... Swim out to it" [This message has been edited by Irie (10-10-2002 02:39 PM).] |
||
|
Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
(chuckling).... My poor old grandpa would have indeed been amused by this thread. His philosophy on life was one of tolerance and respect for others. He believed everyone had a right to believe and feel as they saw in their heart to do, but also believed there was an overiding resposibility of all humans to treat others with respect and kindness. To him, that meant not expressing in public your own discomforts or making other people, whether intended or not, feel like you were being disrespectful. He was a pretty simple old bird.... Personally... my brother was gay and growing up with him was at times uncomfortable. He and I argued and fought like most siblings do and at times we were both very hurtful/oblivious to the need to treat each other with respect. Our issues were however, always confined to our private conversations and not aired in a public forum so that others might misunderstand that we were just brothers..arguing as brothers do. Now... I agree one has the right to be uncomfortable in new situations and that one has the right to say so. I do however think the conveyance of those feelings should be between the partied involved and not in a public forum, accompanied by strong showings of displeasure such as "Ick!" "Eewwwwww!". We should never be ashamed or afraid to let people know we are not in agreement with their viewpoints or lifestyle choices, but we should always be respectful of the fact it is THEIR choice, not YOURS. Demeaning someone, or being hurtful intentionally is just wrong. Demaning someone or being hurtful by careless words or actions repeatedly.... well that is just irresponsible and a sign of imaturity. [This message has been edited by Cpat Hair (10-10-2002 02:51 PM).] |
||
|
hush Senior Member
since 2001-05-27
Posts 1653Ohio, USA |
Loner, did you actually say "Eew"? I noticed that your original post was edited. If so, yeah, that was a pretty mean thing to do- but we're all human, and I bet there isn't anyone reading this who can say they've never done something mean, intentionally or otherwise. That aside, I don't see why everyone's in such a tizzy because she felt uncomfortable... I mean, I work at a bar, and a lot of significantly older men approach me, and sometimes I think it's funny... but other times it makes me uncomfortable. Why? Because I'm not accustomed to that. How is it any different here? I'm uncomfortable on my first day of school- because it's something I'm not used to. I was a little uncomfortable at first in the inner-city neighborhood I moved to, because it has higher crime rates than my old neighborhood. I'm uncomfortable the first few days of a new job, because I'm not used to it yet... but none of this implies hatred toward the new situation. I don't see how not being interested in dating another female makes someone homophobic, or how being uncomfortable in that situation does, either. LOL, I chose to go to school for nursing rather than verterinary technology- that doesn't make me an animal-phobe! I just decided which I would rather do- but even if it was a decision between nursing and say, business, which I have absolutely no interest in.... I don't see how saying 'no' to business school, or feeling uncomfortable at the prospect of it, makes me 'hateful.' Anyway, I don't see this so much as a matter of being made uncomfortable simply because someone is different- I am not uncomfortable with the differing views on abortion, to use Opeth's example. But I would be hesitatant- uncomfortable, indeed- about accepting an invitation from either side to go demonstrate. It's just not my thing. And if being gay is just not someone's thing, I can't see accusing them of being hateful. |
||
|
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
well, yes, it was "Ewwwwww" and implied disgust--and actually, my reaction was not so much anger as it was confusion. I still don't understand the "why" of many emotions, and maybe I never will. No, I KNOW I never will understand the "why" of the emotions of others. My job is to understand MY OWN reasoning... and I think I understand the discomfort of not knowing how to handle a situation. My only aim to was to point that out, and perhaps we can all walk away from one little thread of type with a bit more understanding of ourselves and each other.  That sounded very much like a "jerry springer-ism". grin...OKAY. I ADMIT IT. Sometimes I WATCH. |
||
|
Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Opeth - clarification if you wouldn't mind. Why was it 'natural' for loner to feel uncomfortable - natural because it was a female hitting on a female, or because loner hadn't experienced the situation before? Just curious..  K |
||
|
Ron
Administrator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-05-19
Posts 8669Michigan, US |
Yes, the original post had a very loud ewww and, as Karen said, implied disgust. But that really has little to do with my reply to Opeth. Contrary to his suggestion, I don't believe having a feeling is the only thing needed to justify the feeling, and I certainly don't believe expressing the feelings at the expense of others is a "right." Some would say we can't control our feelings, depriving a phrase like "right to feel" of any real meaning, and I think many more would say we shouldn't even try. Emotion, I suspect they would argue, is our only defense against Cold Equations. I could argue against both of those contentions, I think, but I won't. Even if you believe we can't control our feelings, even if you believe we shouldn't try, I can't imagine any writer in the world arguing that we shouldn't explore our feelings. If something makes us feel uncomfortable, we need to be able to ask ourselves why. Those who honestly explore their discomforts, I believe, will realize that what they feel is probably NOT caused by the actions of another. The action is rarely more than a trigger for something that is more deeply buried. Sometimes, what we find is a good thing, perhaps an unwillingness to hurt someone else by saying no. Sometimes, what we find isn't such a good thing. In neither case, however, should we blame someone else for merely triggering what we ourselves caused. And we certainly shouldn't use our discomfort as an excuse to denigrate those who are different. |
||
|
nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
I am amazed that in this "day and age" that anyone can get so worked up over this topic of differences. I wonder if everyone went back far enough in their families or extended families, if they wouldn't find the "differences" in their own. Like Cpat..I have a nephew who is "gay". Out of all my neices and nephews and I have over 40...he is my favorite because he is the most sincere and thoughtful of them all. I am not saying he is that way because he is different..just that he has had to go through so much before becoming who he is today...and it makes him more tolerant of others. We are many times afraid of the unknown...and when we cross the line of differences we learn so much about one another. |
||
|
Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
(laughing) Ron.... is it just a thing with people named Ron that they find the need to step up on a soap box every now and them? I agree we should always explore the why. I also agree we can and should control our feeling to a degree, it is that layer of control that has allowed man to form society. Without it, we would find no rules of conduct by which we could relate to people as all people are different from the "us" we are. You argue pretty good for a geek... ( laughing as one geek to another) |
||
|
the_loner_23 Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479Jacksonville, Florida, USA |
Yes this freaked me out. But I have gotten my advice for next time. But I am not going to argue. Yes I go have a "gay" friend. Yes online I have a couple. But this was unusual for me. I was stupid for even posting about this. But I acted hastily and I can't take back what I posted now. But I am sorry. Cold hands means a warm heart |
||
|
brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
I haven't read all the others comments, but first of all what exactly did the girl mean by "Maybe we should start going out." and secondly at 16 people are just coming to terms with their sexual identities. It is hard enough but if that person is gay then it is even harder. From an early age we conditioned that hetreosexual relationships are normal. Being gay is still a taboo in the eyes of many people. Having gay friends yourself you would surely know this. Handle the matter delicatly, find out what this young girl's intentions or feelings are, then apologise if there has been a misunderstanding but you are not interested. El riesgo vive siempre! [This message has been edited by brian madden (10-12-2002 07:39 PM).] |
||
|
Anvrill Senior Member
since 2002-06-21
Posts 710in the interzone now |
Just thought I'd step in again, to say that I've known more people who enjoy the same sex than people who don't. Recently been friends with two bi girls and three flamingly homosexual guys. It always impresses me when I know a boy who owns more shoes than I could ever imagine buying. They weren't any different than anyone else I know, though. Of course, every single straight guy I knew who was like "look at me, I'm so straight, I've done it with every girl I know" whenever the the gay ones were around, and that's always got under my skin. Sure, it wasn't "ew," but it was a very vocal way of saying "your kind ain't wanted here." Of course, the guys loved the fact that the girls were bi, especially since they were both beautiful blondes. I've only ever been friends with one girl who had a problem with same-sex attractions. Of course, I found out she had a severe repulsion towards them right about the time when I was trying to figure out my own preferences. She is such a good friend, and so much like me, but I was always terrified she'd find out that I wasn't entirely sure that I was all for guys. That feeling of alienation just made me so sick, it was hard to be anywhere near her for a few months. In time, she figured out that I was really uncomfortable with her homophobia, so she shut up about it. Wish the guys I know would do the same. Augh. Don't try to teach 16 and 17-year-old metal-heads anything about tact; it just won't work. I've found, though, that with age people tend to get better about it. Out and about with Manda, my best girl friend, (ESPECIALLY now that we have the same haircut) everyone seems to assume that we're either sisters or lovers. People at work have told us we look so cute together, and it's actually quite funny to see Manda go bright red. But the angsty "ew"ness of it all just doesn't seem to be there for me outside of the high school setting.Maybe I've just been fortunate and met the right people, I don't know. I'm still compelled to throttle people who are the exceptions to the rule and judge negatively, but that'd be against my own morals and it'd just toss s'more negativity around. Let's present a cliche: Why can't people just all get along? Awright, I'm done now. Definitely not speaking as intelligently as everyone else here, but I find that speaking intelligently and seriously is more often what incites anger, so I've just quit that. remember the sound |
||
|
Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
oops!! shouldn't have tried to be funny... [This message has been edited by Cpat Hair (10-11-2002 08:07 AM).] |
||
|
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
I think the point is being lost here.. the ORIGINAL post (I wish you hadn't edited it) made it quite clear that the prospect of being approached by a lesbian was disgusting. The one thing I found offensive about this was that we have members who are homosexuals and if one of them came here and read that it could hurt their feelings. If this post had been about a Chinese man hitting on her and she said the same thing, it would be viewed as prejudice. THAT is the point...be prejudiced or bigoted if you want, but Passions was built on the right of ALL members to feel at home here..not just those who have a traditional sexual preference or those who are white..or those who are black..or Indian..or Muslim..or Jewish... My dismay with the original post was the tone of intolerance for others. |
||
|
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
edited due to extremely poor taste... humble apologies to all. [This message has been edited by serenity blaze (10-11-2002 02:32 PM).] |
||
|
Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
What Sharon said...exactly. |
||
|
RSWells Member Elite
since 2001-06-17
Posts 2533 |
Serenity, the plaid blue/green skirt with the knee socks and white blouse and don't forget the armfull of textbooks. |
||
|
WhiteRose Member Elite
since 2002-07-23
Posts 3208somebody's dungeon |
Well isn't this an odd little discussion. I have just a little teeny bit to add. Since I am bi-sexual maybe I can bring something to this, I hope. First let me say Julie has the right to feel the way she does. She didn't say she insulted the girl who made a pass at her in any way. (let me interject that this is something I never do to someone I know for a fact is straight, and it is usually just not done but hey, there are always exceptions). Some bi's or gays consider it a challenge to get a straight person into bed. I think offense was taken at the "some men are pigs" remark more than anything else. This also is Julies right to say so. On the other side, like Balladeer said, some women are pigs too. It's certainly not gender exclusive. And really just isn't a nice thing to say about anyone. Probably more insulting for the pig. This discussion is amusing and sad at the same time. Acceptance of the gay community, with a lot of other issues thrown in. The race issue is a whole other matter. This was not a black person hitting on a white person of the same sexual orientation. Then if Julie had felt weirded out, still her right, but best not discussed with anyone but perhaps a close friend, and even then that does not make her prejudiced. Just not predisposed to have a relationship outside her race. Again, her right. sooooooooo..now that I've said absolutely nothing worth listening to, I say let's just give Julie the right afforded her by the constitution. The right of free speech, and not make her feel weird because she felt strange when a woman hit on her. Just my opinion. |
||
|
WhiteRose Member Elite
since 2002-07-23
Posts 3208somebody's dungeon |
Okay, just a little more, and I will probably hate myself in the morning for this. I feel my way of addressing the race issue may be viewed in the wrong light. I have been hit on by gays, and by men and women of all race and creed. I was flattered by all of it. hmmmm...does that make me odd? But not everyone is the same, nor as open minded. Perhaps this discussion was just doomed from the beginning because Julie didn't quite express herself in a way that we found to be acceptable. I am married to a man who has a real hard time communicating how he feels and is forever saying things in a way that make a lot of people mad, so I am used to trying to find in what was said, what was really meant. I think Julie meant only to convey her feelings as to how uncomfortable she felt by what happened. I think this whole discussion has made her feel a bit alienated and picked on. And I probably only added to that. I just think we should all be more understanding of the views of one who is younger and is maturing, by learning and listening, just like we all did. Okay, I'll shut up now. I am already kicking myself, and it's getting quite painful. |
||
|
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
I feel since the original post in this thread has been edited to make it less objectionable, it should be closed. No one coming into this discussion now can understand the reason we were upset. |
||
|
Tim Senior Member
since 1999-06-08
Posts 1794 |
and some folks find it offensive to read statements (meant to humorous) of grown men fantasizing about sexual encounters with school girls. Depends on your background and life experiences dealing with child sexual abuse and pedophiles I suspect. I in no way mean to be critical, but I personally found the humor to be inappropriate. I am fully aware no improper thought or bad motive was intended. I very seriously doubt any of the statements made in this thread were made with evil motive or were ill-intentioned. That does not make them right; it just means people sometimes say and think things they shouldn't and other people interpret them in the context of their own life experiences. Sometimes you have to consider the circumstances in which and by whom a statement is being made. I would hope if I made a totally inappropriate statement, a moderator might see fit to email me and attempt to discern if I was purposefully out line, or if perhaps there was some explanation. [This message has been edited by Tim (10-11-2002 12:29 AM).] |
||
|
Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Hey Tim... My apologies. Obviously you found my humor in bad taste. It has been edited and the content deleted out of deference to that fact. Ron |
||
|
RSWells Member Elite
since 2001-06-17
Posts 2533 |
Oink Oink! |
||
|
Opeth Senior Member
since 2001-12-13
Posts 1543The Ravines |
"Opeth - clarification if you wouldn't mind. Why was it 'natural' for loner to feel uncomfortable - natural because it was a female hitting on a female, or because loner hadn't experienced the situation before? Just curious.." ~ Both. To her, it was unnatural for another female to "hit" on her. Also, it was unnatural because she never experienced it before. |
||
|
Trevor Senior Member
since 1999-08-12
Posts 700Canada |
Well I for one am gonna disagree with Ron, It's good that she aired this in public...I mean how else would she get soooo many wise responses about people, sexual beliefs or tolerance(I came back to edit this (and reword a few things), so I could say that the above is not meant as sarcasm, I really do think there was a lot of good advice offered to her). I mean obviously she wasn't getting very good guidance behind closed doors or from friends or family...otherwise she wouldn't have said what she did. Ignorance breeds in silence. I'd rather hear Nazis spouting anti-semitism publically than to have them meet in secret places and plan hateful things...at least when someone publically vocalizes something we are allowed a chance to rebute it. Seeing Julie change her opinions is the very example that should be used of why it is sometimes better to hear not only good and positive words but the angry and hurtful ones as well. If we never hear them, how can we change them. Issues need to be talked about and since I say "phooewy!" at anyone's claim to their close friends and family having all the answers, I say let some issues be talked about publically, now I'm not saying let the leader of the Third Reich take up a soap box here at PIP and ask the us to help build an Uber race, but I'm saying maybe you're being a little hard lined on this subject. I think WhtRose made some good observations by touching on the subject that maybe Julie didn't mean it the way it was interpreted, (she should work on her communicating skills - and maybe we should all work on our listening skills too), and that some people find it difficult to match their thoughts with wording that we can all appreciate. I think Julie suffers from this, I think she has a hard time communicating what is really on her mind not only about this but about most things (please take no offense in this Julie, I'm not meaning it as an attack). Basically when I read Julie's opening statement, (knowing very little about her), I read into it as she being a bit confused about her own sexuality, that though the girl hitting on her has startled her a bit, she also made her more curious about her own sexuality and is probably wondering what it is like to be with a woman and maybe even fishing to see what others think about this...wondering if this is "acceptable" behaviour. I would even guess that in the back of her mind she probably has at least once, thought about taking this girl up on her offer. I say this because without any of us knowing her sexuality or questioning it she has made it a point to defend it proclaiming to us all that she is straight, as in an attempt to justify herself to herself by telling everyone that she is "normal" and not one of those "funny" people who like the same sex. Hence the "Ewwww." as well, the same wording that all kids use to describe the person who who they have a crush on....also used to describe brussel sprouts too, so I don't know how much validity my words have. I dunno if I'm right about all the above, I might just be full of turd... just a guess so please if ya jump on my back, use one foot instead of two Anyways, I'm not trying to defend Julie or what she said, her hang-ups are her own problem - I'm neither a bartender or a psychologist(sp?), I'm only sticking up for the belief that it is through the vocalization of bad ideas that we are able to curb these thoughts into good ideas before they become bad actions. And like I said earlier, we don't all have the luxury of having wise family and friends to help guide us. Well the meter's up, gotta go, T Rev or [This message has been edited by Trevor (10-11-2002 02:56 PM).] |
||
|
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Tim? I'll edit and e ya an explanation. My apologies. |
||
|
hush Senior Member
since 2001-05-27
Posts 1653Ohio, USA |
Ah... I guess I could have made my earlier point much more succinct by saying that this entire thread reminds me of the tag for the Spiritual forum- y'know, the "Intolerance WILL NOT be tolerated..." Just seems like a bit of a catch-22 if ya ask me. 'Well, I will not be an enemy of anything |
||
|
RSWells Member Elite
since 2001-06-17
Posts 2533 |
I'll neither edit nor apologize for any banter exchanged between consenting adults in an attempt to add levity to a discussion which spins in an edit delirium out of it's original context. If I have to stand here alone in a blue field festooned with apologies looking for all the world like pee wee Herman then so be it. Now I have to go and post some adult male fantasies in Adult Poetry. |
||
|
Tim Senior Member
since 1999-06-08
Posts 1794 |
Mr. Wells... I did not ask nor expect an edit or apology for anything written by anyone. I was attempting to make a point. I failed. If you want to fantasize and joke about having sex with school girls, that is your perogative and none of my concern. I fail to see the humor, but that is my problem and not yours. Hopefully you can forgive my insensitivity, but I have personal issues concerning child sexual abuse which sometimes cloud my judgement. Enjoy your fantasies in adult. |
||
|
Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
I won't go into the do's and don'ts....the should and should not haves. I will only relate this to you...very simply put but carries a lot of meaning.. I served in the Navy with another man who was my friend and co-worker for about four years. We laughed together, worked together and developed a strong bond of friendship. Unfortunately, often times people move away from each other...and for years may not have any contact...Such was the case with he and I... I had not heard from him in about 23 years...when out of the blue I received an email from him.... Well, 3 emails later...he told me that he was gay, that all his life he knew that his sexual thoughts were just not quite what they should have been, had he been heterosexual in his sexual/relationship preferences... Was I shocked? NO... Did it bring out a twinge of mixed emotions? YES... Most importantly, he wanted to say hi, he wanted to say that he was dying...of AIDS complications...and he wanted my friendship, needed that little cyberhug...from a friend. I gave him that cyberhug as a friend....I know that put him at ease and made him even more comfortable with where he was in life. I told him one thing..... I told him that I, who live in my own glass house, can not ever throw rocks at him or anyone else. He died about two months later....and I feel so good inside for the choice that I made and the difference I made with him by accepting him as who he was, a human being and a friend....nothing more, nothing less. Thank You... Barry |
||
|
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Barry? thank you...yer beautiful.  |
||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Echoing Serenity... |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
