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Intent
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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Intent |
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Persona New Member
since 2003-10-03
Posts 9 |
Intent I am wasting away within my skin All that is left of me is a tattered soul And a mere shell of what I once was I am empty, neglicted and abused I once was so strong and admired But only passionet for my disires Squandering my fruitful gifts To only find myself is a obse Now laying in a pool of blood and vomit Enfeebling my every desire to live I wait for it to slowly consumes me Engulfing me whole I become quickly forgotten For I am the good yet misplaced intention Christian Gleen Sykes Copyright ©2003 Christian Glenn Sykes No their are a few typos' but I think I will get better reviews on this poem, it won editor's choice...... |
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| © Copyright 2003 Persona - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Chris, I don't understand. After reading the comments on your last piece, knowing there are typos and misspellings in this one, why would you even post it? Wouldn't it make more sense to correct the glaring errors first as almost everyone suggested before? Pete |
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Toad Member
since 2002-06-16
Posts 161 |
quote: Which editor? |
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cynicsRus Senior Member
since 2003-06-06
Posts 591So Cal So Cool! |
quote: How much did you end up shelling out to receive that dubious honor? It appears you've been scammed. I'd invest in a few writing classes at the local Junior College, before submitting any more work. But, next time to a reputable publication. Sid @ www.cynicsRus.com www.primerhymeetc.com [This message has been edited by cynicsRus (10-12-2003 10:00 PM).] |
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Persona New Member
since 2003-10-03
Posts 9 |
How about giving me some feed back on the poem not the fact that I misspelled some word. I just didnt have time to correct the spelling. I didnt shell out any money I was picked, the editors choice was for the actual poem not for the grammer. And I am going to college. So how about commenting on the poem bash me on that, I already know the grammer is not perfect. |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Hm. Did you even read what was said on your other poem? At all? Or - did you skim over it and think, who cares - here's another one. It's better because it 'won editor's choice'? Which, incidentally, means absolutely nothing. Editor of what exactly? I have a fair idea... Let me say this again - in another way: Spelling errors - off-putting. Very VERY off-putting. Do you know what spelling errors say to me? And many others? 'I couldn't care less about my poetry.' Do you? Spelling and grammar are part of poetry mate. And quite honestly - if you're at college - what the hell are you doing with spelling/grammar like this? Actually, you've mispelled four words, and one of them - 'obse' - means nothing to me in any case. Question - if you didn't have time to correct your spelling then why should we have the time to review your work? Just for your future record Persona: any critic who comes to critical analysis is welcome to critique any PART of the poem, whether it be grammar, spelling, subject, image etc. Wake up - you have posted in Critical Analysis. Expect to be critiqued. As for your editor's choice poem? I say - read my other reply to you. It's the same again. Write something new and use a teeny tiny image. This one sounds like a rewrite of the first one, only with slightly more angst.  K[This message has been edited by Severn (10-12-2003 11:04 PM).] |
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cynicsRus Senior Member
since 2003-06-06
Posts 591So Cal So Cool! |
quote: You expect someone to waste time critiquing your write, when you can’t even take the time to Spell-check? I mean, the other typos are bad enough—but your own name! quote: Ah, it seems these days a college education just isn't quite the vaunted symbol it once was. ...so anyway, which is it; Gleen or Glenn? Sid @ www.cynicsRus.com www.primerhymeetc.com [This message has been edited by cynicsRus (10-13-2003 01:30 AM).] |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Like Severn said, if you don't have the time (or won't take the time) to even check your spelling, how in hell can expect others to take the time to study your work? Pete |
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Persona New Member
since 2003-10-03
Posts 9 |
OK my bad I will take more effort in my work next time so it wont waist your time. I left the spelling errors because I aint like most I dont have Word, or word processer that has a spell check. I won editors choice of poetry.com, and I was always told my poetry was good even on other poetry sites such as friendshipandlovepoetry.net befor I got banned for advertising trying to get judges for a poetry contest.... [Edit Removed direct link to a site that doesn't deserve a link - Ron] [This message has been edited by Ron (10-13-2003 03:27 PM).] |
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hush Senior Member
since 2001-05-27
Posts 1653Ohio, USA |
Piece of advice #1: Stay the hell away from poetry.com And, um... echoes of the above. If you don't have microsoft word, how 'bout an old fashioned dictionary? |
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merc Junior Member
since 2003-10-15
Posts 35 |
poetry.com is a scam, although a very intelligent one. A hardcover publication of close to 300 pages containing on average 3 poems per page. That works out to 900 'poets', all willing to pay $50 for a copy of their first published piece. Without having to market to anyone but the people they publish they pull in $45,000 on each of their quarterly publications. |
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