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Critical Analysis #2
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Inevitable loss (experimenting with postmodernism)
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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Inevitable loss (experimenting with postmodernism) |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore 
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I know nuts about postmodernism..but since i am one brave cool poet-wannabe, i thought i would try this out  ..any comments will be appreciated**************************** Accidentally, we saw each other We smiled, gave obligatory waves and returned to our respective tasks I tried to count my toe hairs You resumed your conversation with your friend We walked home together before Do you recall the time I lied to your dad about your english grade? You looked at me with an expression I couldn't quite figure out-- was it gratitude or amazement? There should be some official etiquette that calls for us to speak to our long-lost friend for fifteen minutes when we chance upon each other We will swap gossip about former friends, reveal our present lives a little, maybe even relive those good old days and laugh I'm sorry I didn't realise you had chicken pox and were absent from school for two weeks I'm sorry I stood aside as the flame in our friendship gradually extinguished It's sad when shared memories are deemed irrelevant but did we even create memories in the first place? do I care because i mourn for the lasting bonds i once thought we had or because of my insecurities and my need to be validated? I never failed to call you before school reopened so that I could "transfer" answers to my homework left undone I need those now |
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| © Copyright 2002 heng kaile - All Rights Reserved | |||
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hush Senior Member
since 2001-05-27
Posts 1653Ohio, USA |
I really like this. My only personal nitpick is the second-to-last stanza... it seems you are telling more than showing... I feel that omitting that and going straight into the last stanza (which I thought was really good) would really tighten and strengthen this poem. Hope I've helped. "deeper is life than lose: higher than have |
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
I liked this as well. I don't have any idea why you would call this postmodern though. A postmodern poem is a poem in the shape of a book index or a sonnet with fourteen words instead of fourteen lines. I still liked what you wrote though. Whatever you wanna call it. |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
hush, you sure did..i thought the second-to-last stanza was wordy and a tad whiny..but i just didn't want to admit that to myself  ...i'm not sure whether i would omit that but when i revise this, i would definitely try to think of some images that would show the reader the sentiments i'm feeling...  Brad, big Oops here! i read Severn's Horizons and got the impression that a postmodern poem is one that destructs the classic 'parts' of a piece of writing--beginning, middle and end...thanks for the information...i will go on the web and research for more details on postmodernism... thanks for liking this, regardless of its form..did you also find the second-to-last stanza too "telly" though? thanks both of you for reading [This message has been edited by faterider (05-07-2002 01:51 AM).] |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
that seems a very limiting definition Brad... not that i'm disagreeing with it. i don't know this very well at all. i did, however, start looking it up on the internet, trying to find a justification between your vp and Kamla's. i haven't found any clear cut lines yet - postmodernism seems to be a very subjective concept, from what i have found, with everyone having their own opinion. i wonder what you think of this one: http://killdevilhill.com/postmodernchat/read.php?f=132&i=388&t=377 faterider - i'll come back to this a little later... i will say that the toe image was disturbing... and i think that's a good thing. it kept coming back to me at random intervals after i'd read it yesterday. Chris |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
fr - will be back to crit this..oh and a little bit more about pm. The classic beginning, middle and end...that is only one aspect of postmodern writing. Often, it applies to prose but in my Horizons poem I applied that there. Postmodernism is more a collection of theories, closely linked to the theories of Modernism...I'm still learning a lot about it in a class I'm taking called 'Modern Poetics.' Right now, we're looking at Gertrude Stein - her writing is worth looking at if you want to explore Modernism (and PM). Brad, honestly - how can you say such a thing? It's more than limiting, it's defying the whole point of the theories of modernism and postmodernism in regards to literature I think. Actually - I'm rather horrified. I'm interested as to how you have come to establish such a definite, closed opinion? (Did a book tell you that hehehe...) K[This message has been edited by Severn (05-08-2002 02:41 AM).] |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
Chris, i meant the toe image to be tongue-in-cheek(ya, call me corny) and was wondering if people would notice..i can't figure out why you found it disturbing though but i am glad it got noticed..i was chuckling to myself when i wrote that... Severn, thanks for the lesson again...someday, i will get off my butt and learn more about postmodernism..i promise you that.. Gertrude Stein is vaguely familiar..will have to go check out her work..thanks to both of you for reading.. |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
I acted upon hush's suggestion..i hope this is a better read... Accidentally, we saw each other We smiled, gave obligatory waves and returned to our respective tasks I tried to count my toe hairs You resumed your conversation with your friend We walked home together before Do you recall the time I lied to your dad about your english grade? You looked at me with an expression I couldn't quite figure out-- was it gratitude or amazement? There should be some official etiquette that calls for us to speak to our long-lost friend for fifteen minutes when we chance upon each other We will swap gossip about former friends, reveal our present lives a little, maybe even relive those good old days and laugh I'm sorry I didn't realise you had chicken pox and were absent for two weeks I'm sorry I stood aside as the flame in our friendship gradually extinguished We are like grown-up puppies given up to different homes, soon after birth Did we ever function as a pair of chopsticks? I never failed to call you before school reopened so that I could "transfer" answers to my undone homework I need those now [This message has been edited by faterider (05-08-2002 11:49 AM).] |
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
Severn, Huh, what did I say that was wrong? True, I don't fine much use for the term postmodernism anymore -- too many people see it doing too many contradictory things. Generally, I guess, Postmodernism is Modernism without the elitism associated with that term. But everytime it's used, it's used to denigrate all of Modernism and that makes no sense to me -- it doesn't really do anything that the Modernists didn't do anyway. If you think it's more open, I disagree. If the term is truly open it has no meaning at all, if it's a specific movement than it excludes that which is not in the movement. You can't have it both ways and that's the way a lot of people seem to see it. Gertrude Stein is an interesting poet, though I admit I don't 'get it' sometimes. But she's a Modernist. |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
I note you like to think in terms of binary oppositions Brad..why should postmodernism exclude modernism? Why can't we have 'it' both ways? K |
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
Try it some other way. Without the logos, no thought at all. |
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