Critical Analysis #2 |
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Chasing Twilight |
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563![]() |
After she saw them together, a minute could have been an hour; stumbling through the air, she reached her destination; his doorknob turned, the door opened. A mind seemed empty of thought, the body reacted with subconscious impulses; (how convenient they were there), when twilight started creeping in, reality, feeling came crashing back, anxiety, then stark fear rose above the twilight, the night would try to take her; with aid, she staved off the darkness, saw the glorious sunrise. "It is wisdom to know others; It is enlightenment to know one's self" - Lao Tzu [This message has been edited by warmhrt (08-25-2003 08:31 PM).] |
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© Copyright 2003 warmhrt - All Rights Reserved | |||
MsSouthernOrchid Member
since 2003-07-12
Posts 192 |
Another good one. I can relate, " time no longer existed." I like it. |
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RomanticPoet Junior Member
since 2003-08-25
Posts 34Florida USA |
Interesting Poem; good flow throughout the work........ American & Poet by God's Grace, Patriot & Veteran by Choice!!!!!!! |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
As usual, Kris, you have unfolded an interesting tale. It reads easily and flows nicely as it unveils its darker side. It does seem a little wordy or maybe prosey. I think it could work better if you trimmed a few words here and there but I won't try to suggest where since you are much better at that than I am anyway. Thanks, Pete |
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
Thank you all for reading and for your kind comments. Pete....I'm really not sure what I could trim without losing some of the essential parts of the poem. I do thank you for your suggestion, and will continue to look into the possibility of trimming it down a bit. Kris "It is wisdom to know others; |
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