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Be Where
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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Be Where |
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B3jamboree Junior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 33Michigan |
What terrible words you wrote My dear How hard your few words are To hear And still I cry just to have You near Now my imagination Provides Helpfull litte self serving White lies I just meditate on your Blue eyes True eyes I still look for you honey Not there I'm glad you read my letters Don't care And you know where I'll be Be where |
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| © Copyright 2003 Christopher G Williams - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Ladybug Member
since 2003-06-17
Posts 236Massachusetts |
Hey B3! "Be Where" --> I like the play on words here. "Blue eyes True eyes" --> I like the rhyme and the spacing. As for the rest of the poem, I like the rhyme scheme you have going on, but I think you could strengthen some of the imagery/wording. For example, "I still look for you honey" -- this is nice, but the word "honey" takes away...it just seems very cliche. Trust me, I hate hearing the word "cliche" and it always pops up in poetry forums, but I just thought I'd try and help. Overall, I think this poem has a lot of potential, and I enjoyed it!  Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end... |
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