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Critical Analysis #2
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The upper hand? Not really a title...
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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The upper hand? Not really a title... |
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hush Senior Member
since 2001-05-27
Posts 1653Ohio, USA |
the upper hand doesn't always belong to a man; it sometimes comes equipped with brazen nails and fisty flails, female versions of force. of coarse, such damage is nullified by pacified activists crying "justice" for their underdog cause- conversely, from the paternal perspective the claws are regarded with lax understanding of the weaker sex as overly demanding but ultimately harmless... so let's dress these inequities up as balanced scales, and wolf-whistle lip-service to women's rights while perpetual myopia enforces stereotypes. [This message has been edited by Not A Poet (02-10-2003 12:51 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 hush - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Am I the only one who sees the little a€™'s and things that should actually be apostrophes etc?? Well. Interesting piece of prose/poetry...bit on the wordy side I think...which was probably your intent anyway...but might be the weakest part of the poem as a whole... 'so let's dress these inequities up as balanced scales, and wolf-whistle lip-service to women's rights' That I think is the strongest part of the poem. I'd think about killing the last line though...bit of an unnecessary summing-up line as the lip-service already conveys the idea quite well... 'of coarse' needs to be 'of course'  K |
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hush Senior Member
since 2001-05-27
Posts 1653Ohio, USA |
I don't know what the deal is with my little squares... something's up with my fonts and I don't know how to fix it... Thanks for the comments. Yeah, I wasn't sure about the last line either, one of those overkill things... |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Do you copy and paste directly across to pip from word? That could be some of it (though it shouldn't be happening)..not being a tech-girl I don't how to fix it, cept to suggest after pasting that you manually insert all the apostrophes and whatnots... damn computers.. K |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
To be safe, I usually cut and paste to Notepad firts then cut from there and paste to PIP. It seems to work that way for me. Hush, I can fix those characters if yoou want me to. You'll have to tell me what the one at the end of the "but ultimately harmless" line should be though. I can figure the others. Pete |
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hush Senior Member
since 2001-05-27
Posts 1653Ohio, USA |
Hey Pete, if you want to, that would be much appreciated... the end of 'ultimately harmless' is a (...) dot-dot-dot. Thanks. |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Welcome. I'm just here to serve  |
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
Hush: Okay, okay ... I freely admit to being part of the problem ... I liked the Miller Lite cat-fight commercial.  Seriously, my thoughts are similar to those of Kamla, except I like the last line. In this case, I think the restatement of what was implied by "lip-service" drives to the root of the problem: myopic stereotyping diminishes the individual. I enjoyed it. Thanks for the read. Jim P.S. I think a tighter connection between your earlier mention of "justice" and the balanced scales would be an interesting aside to explore. |
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