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| Critical Analysis #2 |
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Empty Sockets |
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Dr Gonzo Junior Member
since 2002-11-21
Posts 26 |
Cast aside like a broken clock Whose time was never kept Discarded like light bulbs Whose light never shined Abandoned like an orphan Whose life never had a chance Loneliness, the maiden cursed Socially never dispersed Neglected like peace to politicians Who sold their souls for oil and land Forsaken like books to the narrow-minded Who journey through life without leaving home Shunned like science to spirituality When science fails to answer the important questions Solidarity, denied to I Tearless tears I continue to cry No shoulders free I drown in sorrow's sea |
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Rainbowdust Member
since 2002-12-05
Posts 320Sydney, Australia |
Hey there.. This is my first post so be patient hehe.. well, I really liked the sentiments in your poem and I think it deals with an important issue of people not being appreciated and valued for what they are. It's a tragedy when that happens cos so much goes to waste... it kinda reminded me of a verse from Grey's "Elegy": Full many a gem of purest ray serene The dark unfathom'd caves of ocean bear Full many a flower is born to blush unseen And waste its sweetness on the desert air. I also liked the rhythm a lot, with the analogies getting longer and more complex as the poem continued, and then the final stanza is once again short and simple. I felt the point had more impact that way, and also because it was the only stanza that rhymed. The only thing I'd question is whether the two line second stanza is necessary? Sorry if this wasn't the kind of feedback you were after, but keep up the good work!  The soul would have no rainbows, had the eyes no tears. |
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