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Critical Analysis #2
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The Twilight Zone
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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The Twilight Zone |
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
For Mike I did this double-double doggerel Because I love the Twilight Zone and dare To take the dare that Balladeer is swell (I did this double-double doggerel) Enough to offer poets time to dwell On television's early classic fare. I did this double-double doggerel Because I love the Twilight Zone and dare The operation and the offal smell. My brand new corpse has disappeared somewhere. I found it as a broken, shedded shell― The operation and the offal smell. My youth returned but not my youthful belle, My wife would die and thus the life we share― The operation and the offal smell― My brand new corpse has disappeared somewhere. Her mother and her father have to quell Their girl because some dreams you can't repair. This daughter like all daughters must rebel. Her mother and her father have to quell And so dismantle all the personnel, but girls are girls when girls become aware. Her mother and her father have to quell Their girl because some dreams you can't repair. Will we be tender if they serve us well Or will good-hearted men be something rare? No man can say, no woman can foretell; Will we be tender if they serve us well? In line to take the trip I heard a yell, "It's a―" but did not hear the ending there. Will we be tender if they serve us well Or will good-hearted men be something rare? "We have to stop you reading doggerel." "Oh, that's not fair at all. That's just not fair, For Keats and Shaw and Balladeer are swell!" "We have to stop you reading doggerel." Today, the steel vault stopped my fall to hell, And broken spectacles fulfilled this prayer: "We have to stop you reading doggerel." "Oh, that's not fair at all. That's just not fair." TwilightZone |
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| © Copyright 2008 Brad - All Rights Reserved | |||
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chopsticks Senior Member
since 2007-10-02
Posts 888The US, |
I bumped you off the top of the page, sorry about that |
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TomMark Member Elite
since 2007-07-27
Posts 2133LA,CA |
Hahahahahahhah I think that The triolet form brought out more humor sense. love this one. I may have more to say later.  |
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
Well, Brad, it rhymes and the iambic pentameter is ... um ... iambic and ... er ... pentameter. Forced, yes, but then again you warned us at the beginning that this is not just your typical doggerel, but "double-double doggerel" (which is a deceptively clever phrase, given that Shakespeare's "double double" line from "Macbeth" has become somewhat trite). I think I get your point but I want to give it more thought before I stick my neck out and venture a guess. Like you, I'm short on time and will have to come back to this. Entertaining read, Brad. Jim |
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chopsticks Senior Member
since 2007-10-02
Posts 888The US, |
Brad, when a wannabe like me comments on a poet like you, they should be allowed a handicap , so I am taking my 10 word handicap: This poem is blank-blank-blank-blank-blank-blank-blank-blank-blank-blank and very well written. Thanks for sharing, |
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
TM I'm glad you thought it was funny (though I certainly don't see it as LOL funny). Jim, The fun part of writing this was realizing the value of the triolet in describing many Zone episodes. It seemed like a gift from heaven. But there's nothing particularly serious here. If you can find the time, look up the specific episodes referenced here (I'll give the names later. I thought, for those so minded, it might be fun to let them discover them first). The last two, I hope are obvious, and should explain a lot of the diction here. The first two are, perhaps, relatively obscure, I'm not sure), but they allowed me to play with the language a bit and that was fun. Chop, blank-blankety-blank blank-blank. Thanks. |
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TomMark Member Elite
since 2007-07-27
Posts 2133LA,CA |
though I certainly don't see it as LOL funny) Dear sir Brad, I don't believe you wrote those and repeat them with a serious face. double-double To take the dare that Balladeer is swell My brand new corpse has disappeared somewhere. I found it as a broken, shedded shell― My youth returned but not my youthful belle, Their girl because some dreams you can't repair. Will we be tender if they serve us well Or will good-hearted men be something rare? "We have to stop you reading doggerel." "Oh, that's not fair at all. That's just not fair, "We have to stop you reading doggerel." "Oh, that's not fair at all. That's just not fair." , which all made me laugh loudly together with the discussion in Balladeer's free verse thread. (Never start a sentence with a coma) |
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