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Meeting a friend on the street is a victimless crime
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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Meeting a friend on the street is a victimless crime |
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b.costen Member
since 2003-11-02
Posts 107ontario, CAN |
the lonely’s lives are dictated by a series of isolated meetings that do not satisfy the desire for loving affection from a special person that understands them and needs them back its why we love music and do not know what each note means the instruments we do know are too young to understand properly but the letters on the strings join in the physics experience of life the tangible music combines with the invisible soul the mind plays the guitar and the fingers stroke at her like a woman whose skin you pay attention to with subtle touches and creative physical moments i spent a whole hour on the rim of bone that surrounds my lover’s eye once just examining it and touching it – stroking it softly and learning about it letting my hand communicate the dimensions of it to heart so then when she is away from me i can feel her soft eyebrow fur against the tips of my fingers and the soft arche of her brow lets me remember her incredible beauty and her willingness to comfort me by allowing me those beautiful physical moments with her and yearns for her butterfly inside me and bellow into large billowous clouds of pleasant soft passion that must quench the desire (that is always breeding) in her, too |
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| © Copyright 2007 ben costen - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
Okay, we've got a rough draft here. You may have worked on it a long time, you may want it to sound 'rough', but my advice is going to remain the same: Write a second draft. Nice moments here but stifled by too many words. |
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