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Critical Analysis #2

Burn Me Away

~Allie~
Junior Member

since 2002-05-23

Posts 13
New York

0 posted 2002-08-18 12:56 PM

I cant breathe in without shaking
As the candle flickers out
the only thing that makes me feel un-lonely is fading
I'll let it burn out
Let me burn out
Light a match for a cigarette and your picture
Im burned, now its your turn
I think the smoke is attracted to my eyes
because they swell up in tears
The fire that consumes the last memory of you, goes to my hand
I watch as my fingers slowly burn off
-Pain on my hand dulls the one in my heart, so I whisper to the flames..
"Burn me away"

Radrook
Senior Member

since 2002-08-09

Posts 648

1 posted 2002-08-19 09:55 AM

Your poem conveys the pain of separation very well. Its rhythm effectively reinforces this emotional turmoil and the inner monologue expressing it is very convincing.
BTW

Were you alluding to the song "Smoke Gets In Your Eyes" which was once a hit by the rock group called the Platters?

[This message has been edited by Radrook (08-19-2002 06:54 PM).]

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