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Critical Analysis #2
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Finding Nemo
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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Finding Nemo |
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fanatic-flyer Junior Member
since 2007-02-07
Posts 26Bournemouth |
The shiniest pearls the greenest seeweed lives little nemo i think so indeed Crash and Squirt both racing past poor little nemo is always last Mine mine go the seagulls near by waiting to hear Dory say Hi Bubbles and Gill and everyone too hate the tank it feels like a zoo So thats all the characters you will see on finding Nemo On DVD! Thanks for everything, because everything makes the world happy =) |
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ChristianSpeaks Member
since 2006-05-18
Posts 396Iowa, USA |
What in the world............? |
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fanatic-flyer Junior Member
since 2007-02-07
Posts 26Bournemouth |
i just watched finding nemo and sorta wrote it lol Thanks for everything, because everything makes the world happy =) |
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viking_metal Senior Member
since 2007-02-02
Posts 1337In a Jeep, Minnesota. |
Interesting. Try cleaning up the stumbling blocks. Read it out loud. See how easy it is, and fix the parts that sound strange or awkward. Whatever floats your poetic boat, -Paul |
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fanatic-flyer Junior Member
since 2007-02-07
Posts 26Bournemouth |
could you help me on that, what would you say is stumbling?? heh Thanks for everything, because everything makes the world happy =) |
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ChaosOfAPen New Member
since 2007-02-16
Posts 5 |
There a couple parts in this poem where you used words when they weren't really needed or the context you used them in threw the flow off. This would probably be what the poster above meant by 'stumbles'. Crash and Squirt both racing past poor little nemo is always last "Racing" really seems to throw it off for me. I think you may be better off with "Both race on past." So thats all the characters you will see on finding Nemo On DVD! Right here is something that stands out for me too. The use of the word "On" twice. I think you can do without it. The first "On" can be replaced with "In". |
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fanatic-flyer Junior Member
since 2007-02-07
Posts 26Bournemouth |
ah right, yes now i see, thanks thats helped me  Thanks for everything, because everything makes the world happy =) |
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