»
Archives
»
Critical Analysis #2
»
Untitled
| Critical Analysis #2 |
|
Untitled |
|
|
triggerfingerxx New Member
since 2006-02-02
Posts 8 |
this is probably the worst poem i have ever written. ok so i need serious construction on this poem...im thinking about adding in more metaphors and so forth... i just need your opinion to make this a complete and polished peice. ____ Here I walk, 20 feet tall wind in my face mud on my limbs. breathing smog on your body. toxicating you preserved lust of humanity. what i have forever lost. stumbling through life i leave mud on your body the mud feels warm and the smog is sweet. the facade of my "oh so glorious" life i lead. you were everything i wanted to be. now infected, you are everything i fear. your value is priceless and your mind is free. dirt is for sewers the worthless and chained let me apologize for my presence rolling in dirt for ive ruined your life and brought shame in this world youre too good for the game the shattering of humanity scarring lives and souls its the guarenteed death. so i beg of you with a warning of wonder: once you enter the room theres no turning back it filles with water suffocating your mind and body is this a life you want to enter? i was a human too. ______ |
||
| © Copyright 2006 triggerfingerxx - All Rights Reserved | |||
MGROVES
since 2004-02-01
Posts 3802california |
understood this~ as a survivor and now enjoying my spirit totally free, and flying as meant to be. thanks for the thoughts My spirit will rise |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
