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Critical Analysis #2
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The Feeling
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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The Feeling |
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the kid Junior Member
since 2005-06-24
Posts 16 |
Do you know that feeling, to not be wanted, for no one to care, just to look and stare, at the kid who had something, something once there, and now he has nothing, now hes so bare, the kid who thinks life is so very unfair, well i know that feeling, it makes me so scared, it makes me have fears, that i have nobody here, that nobody cares, this is the feeling that lifes made me fear, the one that for years has put me in tears, this is the feeling, the feeling i fear. |
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| © Copyright 2005 the kid - All Rights Reserved | |||
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eminor_angel Member
since 2003-05-22
Posts 323Canada |
Seeing as how you're writing a poem, some imagery, for example, might be helpful. Shalvah |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Imagery would help but the big problem I see here is that it just comes off a poor me, whiney. You need to bring the reader in, make me empathize. I don't get that impression. |
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