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Drinking on the Job {Drinking Challenge}
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Drinking on the Job {Drinking Challenge} |
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twinsgd Member
since 2000-02-13
Posts 416Ontario,Canada |
I got up this morning, got ready for work. Put on my t-shirt my boots and my shorts. Jumped in my truck,I had two beers for lunch. And on the way there, I ate dry Captain Crunch. My best pal and I took the stairs to the roof. To clean all the windows, the job we undertook. With our equipment into swing stage we hopped. Taking care what we needed never got dropped. The sun shone intensly, twas a very hot day. So back up to the roof, to look for some shade. We sat on two barrels to drink up our beer. Said he to me quietly, "What do we have we here?" Two big wooden barrels, that once had held rye. The odour so sweet, it could make a man cry. As quick as a flash, got the hose with a hiss; a gallon of water and we'd make some Swish. Now we had a big job and that was to roll, the barrels around, and this took it's toll. About two hours later we both had a thirst. Two gallons of whisky, which one to start first. We drove out the bung, poured the rye in the pail. We dipped in our mugs and shouted "Zeig heil" Octoberfest, nothing, had nothing on this. For soon we were entering heavenly bliss. One barrel was empty, we'd both drunk enough. To lower the other to the ground would be rough. Two drunks and a barrel looked good I am sure. Getting down was quite tricky, I was on all fours. Trying to keep track ,well how many floors down? They went by too quickly, I started to frown. Hanging on to the barrel, while flat on my back. We stopped, I got up, hanging on to the rack. As I stepped off the swing stage I found out right then; we had stopped a bit high, feet, count them ten. I fell ten feet down, and my head it did ring. The barrel fell on me, never felt a darn thing. Tylenol then or aspirin,I'll take my booze neat. My barrel,it started to roll down the street. I was giving chase as I got up from the prone. Out here on the street, I now was all alone. I now almost had the thing under control. Turned round the corner and low and behold. Squealing of brakes,a sqaud car at speed. Sirens and lights, this I did not need. The next thing that happened, a sickening clout. My barrel was smashed, Swish spread all about. I flew on the hood, my face pressed into glass And one ugly cop who said , "Hey you, move your ass" Next thing I recall was the ambulance and nurse. I'm laying there thinking, it could have been worse. For now it looks like my drinking is done. My sweet whisky Swish evaporates in the sun. By now I am desperate I need a drink My whisky soaked t-shirt, I started to think. I gobbled it down, I feel much better now. A short time then passes, now I feel like a cow. The surgeon examines me all up and down. Says he " You are lucky to be alive now" "I found out what your problem was without a doubt" "when you put on your t-shirt it was inside out." Jack [This message has been edited by twinsgd (edited 04-14-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Jack - All Rights Reserved | |||
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rich-pa Member
since 2000-02-07
Posts 317New Orleans, Louisiana |
this was a greta poem! i dug it alot yo, it had a good feel to it...it could stand as an excellent piece despite the fact it was only meant to be silly rich-pa "freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose..." -janis joplin |
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
ROTFLMAO Jack this is hilarious ! Love it !  |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
ROFL  Hillarious, Jack!Denise |
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freckles Member
since 2000-02-12
Posts 160Virginia USA |
Jack--ROFL.....this is great!! Breakfast food of champions, cold beer and dry Captain Crunch (oops, the beer was supposed to be for lunch).....lol!! Hey, can you include me next time there's swish?? Great work, Jack!! I enjoyed this!  < !signature-->"Unto thine own self be true, and it must follow as the night, the day; thou cans't not be false to any man."---Shakespeare [This message has been edited by freckles (edited 04-16-2000).] |
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ESP Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556Floating gently on a cloud.... |
ROTFL...this is painfully funny, I'm splitting my sides laughing!! Great response to the challenge, twinsgd! Love and hugs, Lizzie "Poetry is the true expression of my soul, it is my ultimate means of communication. It is my rainbow of delight." |
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Lost Dreamer Member Elite
since 1999-06-20
Posts 2464Somewhere near the Rainbow |
Geez it's not eve 7am in the morning and I'm ROTFLMAO, Wow, this is great I love it, you met the challenge well. |
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Jon Mewett Senior Member
since 2000-03-04
Posts 1304 |
What a tale of woe and delight. Great funny read.I liked the ending like somthing out of E.R. Nice One JON |
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blackhalo Member
since 2000-02-15
Posts 467Denver, CO |
Too Cute! The only description for such a wonderful thought! I think that every day! Just kidding, I'm NOT an alcoholic, but it's nice every once in a while! Hope, Alicia A. Renzelman |
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John the cat Member
since 2000-03-23
Posts 357England |
A great story, hilariously told. Well done Jack. May your roof never fall in and those beneath it never fall out. Irish proverb. |
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Gene Senior Member
since 2000-01-23
Posts 935Colorado, USA |
LMAO Great poem. Sounds like a couple of friends I know. ~Gene |
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twinsgd Member
since 2000-02-13
Posts 416Ontario,Canada |
Thank you rich-pa...glad you enjoyed it Munda and Denise ....Thanx for reading and responding. Freckles... going barrel hunting soon ..will call if lucky...lol Lizzie...Lost Dreamer... Jon.....Alicia... John...Gene....Thank you all for kind comments...glad you liked it. Truth to tell I never Swished...closest I came was a whisky barrel I cut in half and put flower in...one half we couldn't keep flowers alive for two years...I missed my chance ...Drat!!! Jack |
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PrincessPoet Member
since 2000-04-15
Posts 133Long Beach, Calif. |
 This is a deusy, bellyache kind of funny! Bravo (If you only knew what I went through trying to read this poem- Interruptions of every sort) The 6th attempt But, worth the wait Your failures in life come from not realizing your nearness to success when you give up. -Yoruba Proverb Poetry & Friendship, PrincessPoet |
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Yu Lan Senior Member
since 2000-04-13
Posts 1462New Zealand |
hehehe!! aah, what a jolly ending ^_^ well done, Jack.. a cheerful, chortle of a poem ^_^ very nice. Lynne |
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