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For the sake of Argument (previously untititled)
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For the sake of Argument (previously untititled) |
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childomine Senior Member
since 2000-01-25
Posts 818st. petersburg, FL |
Karen had been on a date earlier, now she's barefoot and walking alone. She has such a long, long way to go and already she's weary to the bone. They were having so much fun but then began to fight. Now she finds herself walking alone in the darkness of the night. The stars give her what light she has and she is more than a little afraid. Michael had really pissed her off, now she wishes that she had stayed. A few minutes later he pulls up and tells her to get into the car. He's angry and she doesn't want to, but home is so very far. She sees the speedo hit 60, at the curves he does not slow. She huddles against the car door, heart racing and crying low. "Please Michael, please slow down, You're gonna get us killed." He ignores her, which pisses her off and again with anger she's filled. He gives the engine more gas, suddenly a tire hits a hole. The car bucks and spins wildly as Michael fights for control. In her terror she's become silent, her eyes opened wide with fear. He struggles with the steering wheel and the danger is poignantly clear. The car becomes airborne, goes crashing through the trees. Breaking glass and crushing metal drown out their fervent pleas. They come down with a terrible crash, stopping to rest against a mighty tree. There's no time for saying "I love you" for Michael and Karen die instantly. They must have run away people guess, for their bodies have yet to be found. There's now an eeriness to the woods as passersby hear the haunting sound of crying. < !signature--> ...Give me the strength to walk the soft earth, a relative to all that is.... Black Eagle Oglala Sioux holy man [This message has been edited by childomine (edited 03-29-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Kim Soule - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Lost Dreamer Member Elite
since 1999-06-20
Posts 2464Somewhere near the Rainbow |
This is some splendid writing you had me grasping the whole way through, and even in the end I am still wondering. Excellent job, I love it even though it is overall intensly sad. |
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William P Bussey Member
since 2000-02-26
Posts 188 |
My friend, you tell the sad tale of life so well, the trouble is that it is so real to life, you putt us in that car with such realism that it's scary. Great poem. and welcome back. |
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Sasikat Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 290St. Petersburg, FL |
Kim, What a sad one!! Very haunting. Does leave you wondering though. As always, your talent shines through. Sheila ...the earth and myself are of one mind. The measure of the land and the measure of our bodies are the same........... Joseph, Nez Perce Chief |
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Gene Senior Member
since 2000-01-23
Posts 935Colorado, USA |
This is hauntingly beautiful, very powerful and nicely written.  ~Gene |
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John the cat Member
since 2000-03-23
Posts 357England |
WOW! |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Very powerful, very sad and very well written. Denise |
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childomine Senior Member
since 2000-01-25
Posts 818st. petersburg, FL |
Thank you all for taking the time to read this and making comments. Sometimes I have to wonder where these thoughts come from. ...Give me the strength to walk the soft earth, a relative to all that is.... Black Eagle Oglala Sioux holy man |
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Another Heather Member
since 2000-02-17
Posts 93Canada |
I know what you mean about thoughts coming out of nowhere sometimes, but you should enjoy it cause great poems like this one can come out of those strange thoughts. Good job! "Be yourself... No matter what they say" - Sting |
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Jon Mewett Senior Member
since 2000-03-04
Posts 1304 |
Childomine-I LOVE LOVE LOVE this poem. A haunting wonderfully written story. FANTASTIC. If you go down in the woods today?...... Jon |
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twinsgd Member
since 2000-02-13
Posts 416Ontario,Canada |
Spinechilling.......That was my reaction.....sent a shiver down my back. A gripping tale Childomine. |
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childomine Senior Member
since 2000-01-25
Posts 818st. petersburg, FL |
Thanks you - Heather, Jon and Twins. I'm glad this was well received. You're all wonderful poets and I'm honored by your comments. ...Give me the strength to walk the soft earth, a relative to all that is.... Black Eagle Oglala Sioux holy man |
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StarrGazer Senior Member
since 2000-03-05
Posts 679Texas |
Excellent poem childomine ... So true that things like this happen everyday and you did a fantabulous job writing about it "A poet is one who spends a lifetime standing out in thunderstorms, waiting to be hit by lightning" ~Randal Jarrell~ |
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