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Outside Again ( P dV)
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Outside Again ( P dV) |
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Jon Mewett Senior Member
since 2000-03-04
Posts 1304 |
Here I am outside again Grudgingly I clutch my pain Lonely now tears in the rain And sinking The locked vaults of my mind explode Maybe I should hit the road It’ll help me with this heavy load I’m thinking Down the highways in my head Mostly in a troubled bed Some times I am seeing red Not sleeping The clouds converge then disappear Then a small sweet voice I hear In conversations vigil see her Keeping I creep up to the tinselled shack Looking in not looking back I pile the joy in one big stack I’m walking The laughter trickles in your mind How can people be so kind? The pain you feel is in your mind I’m talking Calm returns …back inside In baubled conversations hide Sometimes it’s a gory ride It’s living Jon Mewett Open your eyes and your influenced Thanks deV |
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childomine Senior Member
since 2000-01-25
Posts 818st. petersburg, FL |
This is really good Jon. "Sometimes it's a gory ride It's living." How true! |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
This is great! Don't know how I inspired you, but I'm certainly glad I did!  |
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Aimster Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297Charlotte, NC |
~Jon, this was really good! I loved how you ended every verse with you doing something such as living, talking etc. I also loved the entire meaning behind the poem. Go on living Jon, seems to me you have much to give!! Take care of yourself and God Bless. Amy  ~Live today as though it were your last but prepare for tomorrow as though it were here~ |
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Jon Mewett Senior Member
since 2000-03-04
Posts 1304 |
Thanks child your comments are always welcome. dV - Your poem Lonliness was the one. Amy -Yes I like that technique too has a nice rhythem to it. Thanks Jon |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
This is great Jon! Well written! Denise |
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Little_Spyro Senior Member
since 2000-01-09
Posts 659San Diego, CA, USA |
I've heard the expression "That's life!" too many times...but this is definitely something worth going over! Great symbolism behind the excellent verse and rhyme, Jon!  Great read, even better work! Little Spyro T. Dragon |
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twinsgd Member
since 2000-02-13
Posts 416Ontario,Canada |
You are very talented Jon Mewett most enjoyable reading. I really liked... "The pain you feel is in your mind I'm talking." So often so true. |
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