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Whisper my Name
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Whisper my Name |
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Suzanne Arlene Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 377Ontario, Canada |
Oh baby your words are so silent Is there nothing you'd like to say Ive been missing everything about you Please don't throw us all away I need to feel you close to me And i know your not feeling the same How can i make you understand I just want you to call my name I am here if you want me How much longer i cannot say This silence is killing me and I don't think that i should stay But to leave would cut me deep down deep to the soul of me I beg you please see who i am before your too silent to see (this is the chorus) Oh baby just whisper my name no matter how far i will hear speak what my heart needs Whisper and i will be near. This is my first attempt at a song .I don't hear any music in it . Feels like a poem to me.But i wanted some feedback to see if I wanted to try another one. Thanks For reading it. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Suzanne Arlene - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
I think this would make a fabulous song, Suzanne, a jazzy-bluesy one comes to mind! Denise |
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pegasus111 Member Elite
since 2000-07-27
Posts 2219ocala, fl, usa |
I agree..a ballad maybe..lovely < !signature--> the woods are lovely, dark, and deep, but I have promises to keep, and many miles to go before I sleep...Frost [This message has been edited by pegasus111 (edited 12-09-2000).] |
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Suzanne Arlene Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 377Ontario, Canada |
How about Jazzy Bluesy Ballad lol I stil don't hear any music But i tried lol Thanks for your responses . It helped me alot Suzanne |
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
I hardly know anything about songwriting, but I do believe you could easily turn this into a song. I have develloped the habit of listening to the meter in songs and found all verses to have the same meter and syllable count (like 8-7-8-6, but persistent throughout the song), while the chorus differs. Try writing new words to a melody you love and you'll see what I mean. (I tried it a couple of times and it's fun!) Perhaps we can ask Nan to do a workshop on songwriting in January? Anyway, I truly enjoyed what you've done thus far.  [This message has been edited by Munda (edited 12-10-2000).] |
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Suzanne Arlene Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 377Ontario, Canada |
Oh a workshop would be so fun i think. You can count me in lol Thank you for responding Munda I needed to here that. Suzanne |
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