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Much More Than "Chew
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Much More Than "Chew |
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Stephanos
since 2000-07-31
Posts 3618Statesboro, GA, USA 
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Much More than “Chew” Chewla, when I gave you to my sweetest bride on Christmas day, little did I know the price of woe that I would have to pay. You were so very tender, docile, picturesquely cute and sweet. And adjectives which I ascribed to you were words like “cool” and “neat”, “perfect”, “heavenly”, “low- maintainence”, my soul mate dog, a beast of finest qualities which I would never want to flog nor fume at with hot anger causing you to sulk along the floor. Like when the time you clawed and scratched a gaping gash in my screen door. Or when I stretched and yawned with coffee mug in hand one morning bright and peered through sun lit window to behold the gratifying sight of my backyard, with pride and joy, though it is nothing grand to see. I was appalled to find you rooted up my only apple tree which we had once discovered with delightful mirth and celebration. Our cherished thriving tree so green was made your rod of salivation. No longer bearing fruit amid it’s stems and playful leaves so pert, it became a common, nasty, gnarled stick to ornament the dirt. Or what about the times you felt you craved more novel things to chew. when things like bones and sticks grew dull and tritely boring unto you. You found some things that “did the trick” and finally hit your canine spot. Yet home utilities you took for snacks did anger me alot! Remember how I walked from work exhausted mad and very puzzled? If I had known that night, I would have surely had you killed and muzzled. But it was two days later when the light bulb in my brain came on showing what had happened and explaining my malfunctioned phone. I ran out back and sure enough, the wires were severed gnawed and frayed. And If the phone technician would have killed you, I’d have gladly paid. And oh let’s not forget the time you donned a taste for toasted lint. “Forget those squeaky chew toys! Milk bones? Ha! I’ll have a dryer vent.” Hey plastic seems to suit you fine, whatever else your taste might pick. You chewed and gnashed and nipped until your writhing tongue was layed to brick. And countless other things indoors were ripped and strewn and wildly torn. It’s times like those when I did grieve and hate the day when you were born. And what about the time when you considered Caleb’s pastel stroller something made to quell your appetite and to caress your molar? And all those little dolls and animals for which we’ve shed our tears . . . We ought to start a rehab to commemorate your fledgling years. Eyes and noses missing, limbs from torsos cruelly taken. Girl, I never thought you’d do such things, but boy, was I mistaken! I guess to sum it up, I’ll say I’ve grown these days to just see through these scoundrel-like behaviors which, to me, have so enshrouded you. If you were not yourself, dear Chew, it somehow wouldn’t be the same. And after all you’re only living up to your most cherished name. To love you? Well, I may as well. I must confess I really do. For when I look into your eyes so brown, I see much more than “Chew”. -SDJ 11/99 |
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| © Copyright 2000 Stephen Douglas Jones - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Wobbly Head Bob Member
since 2000-05-15
Posts 299Virginia, USA |
This was heart warmingly hillarious!!! I trully know and understand EVERYTHING about this one. My roomate of a few years got himself a little doggie with a penchant for jaw exercising. Great read, trully enjoyed! |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Welcome back, Stephanos! Delightful, hillarious piece!! I enjoyed this!! Denise |
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Stephanos
since 2000-07-31
Posts 3618Statesboro, GA, USA |
W.H.Bob, Thanks alot. I really enjoyed writing this one. I love comic verse, and since my dog was leaving me at wits end with her chew pathology, I thought of no better way to express my frustration! (your screen name here is comic as well, maybe you could write a comic poem explaining why you chose it!  )dsnyder, Thanks, I'm glad to be back. I'm sporadic but I love all of you guys, and could never leave permanently (unless my computer exploded). |
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Jon Mewett Senior Member
since 2000-03-04
Posts 1304 |
Great read Stephenos....dogs can be funny like your verse. Jon |
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2dalimit Member Elite
since 2000-02-08
Posts 2228Mississippi coast |
I see a great love for your dog, no matter what she did. I lost my dog- Dog-gone, I miss him. Love it. Melton |
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