»
Archives
»
The Corner Pub
»
When I think of the time .......
| The Corner Pub |
|
When I think of the time ....... |
|
|
Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
From the Workshop. Another unsuccessful attempt at free verse.  When I think of the time I still had my Mom I see lots of memories dear I see us laughing in the street feel the love and care we all need When I think of the time I still had my Dad I recall him behind the stove Brewing one of his recipes his special ingredient was love When I think of the time I spent with my Sis We always had the greatest fun and in silence we shared our cries when her first born, a girl, had died When I think of the time I found my true love a bright smile still lightens my face ‘Though you died in an accident your love’s with me this very day When I think of the time my children were born I feel a perfect peace inside A girl, a boy, gifts from above never could wish anything more When I think of the times now all in the past All the laughter and love I knew Despite the sorrow and the tears I feel truly happy and blessed When I think of the times that are still to come I truly hope I’ll always see all the precious things life beholds while the rest of my life unfolds Munda  |
||
| © Copyright 2000 Munda - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
I think this is beautiful, Munda! I've tried to write free verse but I never liked the end result. This is really good! Denise |
||
|
Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
sweet Munda... unsuccessfull attempt??? you must be kidding...this is great... a perfect tribute to your memories. take care, janet marie In the time we've known That we each are a part of one another We've lost as much as we have won... And as our lives have grown We have found that it only brings us pain To hang on to the things that we have done... ***Still I love the times you've come*** Jackson Browne |
||
|
Gene Senior Member
since 2000-01-23
Posts 935Colorado, USA |
Oh, c'mon Munda, you know this is really good. You're just teasing us, right? I like how you see the precious things even through the heartache. ~Gene |
||
|
Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
Gee guys, you really got me blushing here with your kind words. Thanks  |
||
|
Little_Spyro Senior Member
since 2000-01-09
Posts 659San Diego, CA, USA |
Good heavenly dragons, Munda! How can you even joke at your work being bad? Your free verse is beautiful!!! You (and pretty much everyone else here at Passions) have to teach me how to write that good! Truly beautiful piece, and talent, you've got there, Munda!  Little Spyro T. Dragon |
||
|
Nurse Crachet Member
since 1999-09-27
Posts 318They know where I am! |
Munda, Listen to them here they tell you no lies A masterpiece was created here. |
||
|
JOY 14 Senior Member
since 1999-09-22
Posts 1419Wisconsin USA |
I agree Munda. Unsucessful? I think not! Joy |
||
|
X Angel Senior Member
since 1999-11-07
Posts 1521Oregon |
Silly Silly girl!!! This is not a failure! This is learning! You have tons of potential, and because someone suggested (me) a few things about it in class does NOT mean it was a bad poem. In fact it was very good, I only felt that it was a bit too structured, but with me, I CANNOT structure a poem (it hurts me mentally LOL) so be happy you can! Your version of FV is different than mine, I say Awesome! Run with it and try that "writing with your eyes closed" thing I told ya about...check my poem on the main site Ocean by }X{Angel}X{, I wrote that one with my eyes closed, it was quite fun! Best of luck and I'll need pointers from YOU my dear in our next class eh? *hugs* ~X~ Vivian Greene ~It is not our circumstances that create our discontent or contentment. It is us.~ |
||
|
Another Heather Member
since 2000-02-17
Posts 93Canada |
to me the point of writing to help me see my life more clearly and it seems like your poem did exactly that. Very beautiful the way you sought out the precious moments life brings along with acknowlidging the bad ones. |
||
|
Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
Sam ! You make me feel I'll be a famous poet some day !  Thanks little Dragon, with the golden heart. If YOU think, there's anything I can teach you, feel free to e-mail me anytime. Heather, Joy, thank you so much Nurse C, you honour me with your words and presence here. Angel, I never said it was a bad poem LOL Just an unsuccessful attempt at free verse and I do see it as learning And please, do sit next to me the next class, so I can "borrow" some of that great imagery of yours. |
||
|
untold sorrow Junior Member
since 2000-02-18
Posts 12aiea, hawaii, united states |
hey i noticed that you read my other poem, mind i u read my poem "valleys rise"? id like to know what you think about it. thanks for the sweet comments |
||
|
Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
LOL Untold Sorrow, when you reply to a poem, you're supposed to say something about this poem and not yours, but I forgive you |
||
|
Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Munda, Wonderful free verse. It flows from the heart.I've been following you in the workshop.This, my dear, is not an "attempt". It is a very heartwarming and inspirational piece. If it brings a tear or thought to the reader, it is good writing. Well done, dear poet Liz (I'm still attemting) |
||
|
Sasikat Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 290St. Petersburg, FL |
Munda, What a beautiful, love filled piece. It really describes the love for family. I enjoy your work, keep 'em coming. p.s. this is way beyond an "attempt" |
||
|
untold sorrow Junior Member
since 2000-02-18
Posts 12aiea, hawaii, united states |
awe c'mon munda, unsuccessful my butt!!! i love this poem because it's very brilliant in the way that you use such great memories which hold sentimental value... great stuff!!! |
||
|
Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
*G* everybody, you make me blush with all your wonderfull replies. Thank you for reading and your kind words Liz, I saw you posted in the Workshop...I'll be there soon. |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
