The Corner Pub |
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Wobbly Head Bob Member
since 2000-05-15
Posts 299Virginia, USA |
On our way to better places Through time torn into spaces The winter weather seemed to beat our souls We've seen some pretty faces And stole our share of bases Still time and seasons want us to pay tolls Crossing lines and boundaries Knowing there's no garauntees Just cussin' at the pockets in our holes Sometimes we could see the breeze Other times we thought we'd freeze Everything just bundled in our clothes Time has seen us leave our ways Nights have passed on into days And all thats left is hidden in our souls |
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dgvarner Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552High Springs, Florida |
i love this wobbly..it has a TRUE FRIENDSHIP feel about it..true friendship can weather time and storm i think its great! and very well written! "A Poet's life is on written page; a scenario to take the stage--watch..." dgvarner |
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Romy Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1170Plantation, Florida |
This is so good! I especially loved the first and last stanzas. There is so much rhythm in it, I love it! Time has seen us leave our ways Nights have passed on into days And all thats left is hidden in our souls This is a poem on its own! Thanks for sharing! |
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Jana Tovey Member
since 2000-05-30
Posts 257USA |
The line "Through time torn into spaces" is quite haunting. I wonder what you meant when you wrote this line?? Is this the way time is recalled, as spaces in the memory, or the past? I like this poem. I've re-read (and re-read) it and the last line sums it all up, I think. This is the SOUL talking and the spaces filled above are those that were torn from the soul. Am I correct? |
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