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Echos of Nothing But Dust
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Echos of Nothing But Dust |
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JOY 14 Senior Member
since 1999-09-22
Posts 1419Wisconsin USA |
The well is dry Not a single drop left No water to quench my thirst Only echos remain Leaning in I hear my voice "Hello" I shout "Hello" It echos back A dry echo, Coughing upon dust Choking upon dust It's lonely here For company. No question of that For the bricks crumble As I wind up a bucket full of dirt Dust balls rolling over the hill beyond Over dried grass Withered flowers Echos of life turned dead I have one wish left That birth would renew Itself Here. One wish, into the wishing well "I wish" I say sofly "I wish" It echos back Forlorn, Still dirt rigged and brittle. Bringing my head back from inside And tilting my face up towards the sky Dark clouds Let loose The beautiful, crystal clear rain Pelting on my lips Caught on my dry tongue Relished by my refreshed soul and mind! [This message has been edited by JOY 14 (edited 01-31-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Kristen Joy Jacobus - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Joy, this is SO good..so descriptive. one can vision the wishing well in their mind while reading this...very well written, and I love the ending.Janet Marie Some things cannot be explained by verses that rhyme, They are not measured by the commitment of time. Some emotions run too deep to be described by words, Forgiveness and understanding- remain the most beautiful words ever heard. Janet Marie |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
WOW! I need a nice refreshing drink now! Excellent writing, Joy! I enjoyed this! Denise |
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Gene Senior Member
since 2000-01-23
Posts 935Colorado, USA |
I'm thirsty. Very nice and very descriptive.  ~Gene |
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JOY 14 Senior Member
since 1999-09-22
Posts 1419Wisconsin USA |
Thank you for your nice coments. When I wrote this and after I was finished I went back and revised it. But even now I think something isn't right with it! Ah, well, maybe I'm over judging it. Who knows? Joy |
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
You can be the only judge to that Joy. It must "feel" good to you. But you know what ? I think this is great !  |
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Wikket Member
since 2000-01-29
Posts 340Santa Clara, CA USA |
Well thought and even better said. Very thought provoking...you've summed up my life and a few others I know.  --Jamie "...at night I cling to you I'm so afraid; afraid the day will come and I'll wake up and find you gone. But you promise that you'd not abandon me and kissed my fears away but I woke up to that day..." 'Waking up Beside You' by Stabbing Westward |
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Rex Allen McCoy Member Elite
since 2000-01-30
Posts 2863Sippin a Timmy's in London |
Well written and very thought provoking. You kept me reading this several times. Rex |
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Broken_Winged_Angel Senior Member
since 2000-04-06
Posts 994Small Town, Somewhere |
I applaud this wonderful piece of art... MAY THE ROAD RISE TO MEET YOU, MAY THE WIND BE ALWAYS AT YOUR BACK MAY THE SUN SHINE UPON YOUR FACE THE RAINS FALL SOFT UPON YOUR FIELDS AND, UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN, MAY GOD HOLD YOU IN THE PALM OF HIS HAND Irish Blessing |
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