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perhaps abit too formal for the challenge?
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perhaps abit too formal for the challenge? |
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Tramp Poet Senior Member
since 2000-01-06
Posts 754Could Be Anywhere... 
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THE DANCE She rounds about the ballroom silk ruffles whispering as she whirls. Her partner dapper in uniform the envy of all the other girls. There are tears upon her cheeks smiles to belie the sadness inside. Her beau off to battle with the dawn champion steed her knight does ride. For the moment is the music sweetly melancholy amidst the dancers. His lips brush hers, a promise in the garden her eyes full of questions, his without answers. Resumed, a world reduced to ballroom a happiness mask, a wearing of smiles. Promise of tomorrow made whole hearted a dance is enough...if only for awhile. 7/95 bleeding... "Tis ink coming from his arm, Captain!" |
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| © Copyright 2000 Daniel James Burt - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Lost Dreamer Member Elite
since 1999-06-20
Posts 2464Somewhere near the Rainbow |
Not to formal at all, I was just trying to get this place active again with posts so anything goes. This was excellent writing, with such an elegant flair, I love it, thanks for sharing it for the challenge.  |
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childomine Senior Member
since 2000-01-25
Posts 818st. petersburg, FL |
I don't think it's too formal either. Dancing is poetry in motion, a song with the feet. Your poem sounds wonderful and romantic. ...Give me the strength to walk the soft earth, a relative to all that is.... Black Eagle Oglala Sioux holy man |
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Tramp Poet Senior Member
since 2000-01-06
Posts 754Could Be Anywhere... |
Thanks for the input! Couldn't resit the ballroom elegance and romance... a southern plantation kinda thang, eh? thanks again, bleeding... "Tis ink coming from his arm, Captain!" |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
not formal at all...i like your sentence "a world reduced to ballroom"--when it seems that the world has stopped moving and is staring at the lovey-dovey couple dancing... I liked |
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Yu Lan Senior Member
since 2000-04-13
Posts 1462New Zealand |
Aah, another sweetly romantic poem.. ^_^ perfect for the challenge, so I think.. ^^ Lynne |
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Jeremiah Johnson Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 1223Brooksville, Fl, U.S |
Great poem i love it. and its right its not formal at all. but ots still a great oe so keep them coming ok? I'm the lord, I'm the havoc, I'm the soul |
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