navwin » Main Forums » Holiday Cheer » Immaculate Reception
Holiday Cheer
Post A Reply Post New Topic Immaculate Reception Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

0 posted 2007-12-31 05:28 PM


(Here's an all-original I wrote (and recorded) in 2005 that sounds almost like something Ray Stevens would write if he took a stab at another Christmas song!

Noah Eaton Performs "Immaculate Reception"

Y'all can hear me sing this via the link above, where I try my pipes at a country accent, LOL! )


*

*

Immaculate Reception
By: Noah Eaton
12/16/05

Well, my house is older than the mountains,
and got twice as much dust eleven months of the year.
but once Thanksgiving rides off into the sunset,
whew, I kick right into high gear.
I run like a scalded dog into my tool-shed treasury,
rustle up those Christmas boxes with high-falootin’ cheer,
gosh golly, my heart’s all around the yard today,
it must have elasticity of shear.

Hah, some like it rainbow and some like it white,
I say, “Go wild like a peach orchard hog!”
I festoon everything from my house to my truck,
I even re-paint my entire mailbox.
Every year my youngens give me a lil’ blank stare,
Say, “Hey Pa, have you gone unglued?”
‘N I tell ‘em, “Christmas, children, is not a date,
hey, it’s a state of mind, whew!

My philosophy is there are many anniversaries,
but Christmas only comes once a year,
so leave it to me to be the patron saint,
the neighborhood’s mouse-eared, yuletide chevalier.
Lord knows I’m trying to become as sounding brass,
like a tingling cymbal, hah, my charity got your attention.
Hail Mary, meek and lowly, pure and holy,
rise with my immaculate reception,
whee hee!

Well never mind about the size of your Christmas tree,
in the eyes of all children,
they’re over 30 feet tall.
I even did extensive research on exactly who Parson Brown is,
and decorated my front-lawn scarecrow
like Apostle Paul!
Why I even hired a Saskatchewan Entrepreneur
named Shirelle Qu'Appelle,
to craft custom-made unassembled snowmen for sale!
I even spent nineteen hours
inflating a thirty-seven foot snow globe,
When it was cold like a well digger’s tail!

You better believe my shug is on the bandwagon too,
she makes a warehouse of a weaving loom.
crafting cashmere sweaters for all ‘em Sunday school pupils,
she even hands them out like play money at supermarkets and billiard saloons.
I’ve proclaimed the Gloucestershire Wassail since Labor Day,
I wear candy-cane pajamas and elf shoes every early-evening jog,
A Jesus thief even stole my nativity scene last week,
I just laughed and said, “Spread the word, good man,
and don’t forget some of my spiced egg nog!”

My philosophy is there are many anniversaries,
but Christmas only comes once a year,
so leave it to me to be the patron saint,
the neighborhood’s mouse-eared, yuletide chevalier.
Lord knows I’m trying to become as sounding brass,
like a tingling cymbal, hah, my charity got your attention.
Hail Mary, meek and lowly, pure and holy,
rise with my immaculate reception,
whee hee!

My philosophy is there are many anniversaries,
but Christmas only comes once a year,
so leave it to me to be the patron saint,
the neighborhood’s mouse-eared, yuletide chevalier.
Lord knows I’m trying to become as sounding brass,
like a tingling cymbal, hah, my charity got your attention.
Hail Mary, meek and lowly, pure and holy,
rise with my immaculate reception,
whee hee!


*


"If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other"

Mother Teresa

© Copyright 2007 Nadia Lockheart - All Rights Reserved
Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
1 posted 2008-05-07 10:24 PM


Another enjoyed piece

ARCTIC WIND

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Main Forums » Holiday Cheer » Immaculate Reception

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary