Thanksgiving Grace - pipTalk Forums

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Ted Reynolds
Member

since 1999-12-15

Posts 331

0 posted 2000-11-20 03:30 PM

We give thanks on this day
That Aunt Matilda got invited somewhere else this evening;
For this we give thanks, oh Lord.

We give thanks on this day
That our stocks have behaved so brilliantly, and that the SEC hasn't managed to figure out how Cousin Stephen did it;
For this we give thanks, oh Lord.

We give thanks on this day
That the IRS auditors have passed us over again this year;
For this we give thanks, oh Lord.

We give thanks on this day
That the angel of HIV has also missed us this year, despite a few understandable lapses on our part;
For this we give thanks, oh Lord.

We give thanks on this day
That the meteors, the Mack trucks, and the jealous husbands have made such minor inroads among us this year, though we do miss Jackie, Chris, and Erin, for whose absences we gently chide you;
For this we give thanks, oh Lord.

We give thanks on this day
That all year you've had to concentrate on Bosnia and the Tutsis instead of on us;
For this we give thanks, oh Lord.

We give thanks on this day
That we are right while everyone else is stupidly and wilfully wrong about everything;
For this we give thanks, oh Lord.

We give thanks on this day
That it's none of us spread out on the table filled with stuffing;
For this we give thanks, oh Lord.

I give thanks on this day
That the policeman was looking the other way when I shot the red light twenty minutes ago hurrying home to this wonderful celebration of thankfulness and gratitude, and that that idiot on the bicycle got out of my way in time;
For this I give thanks, oh Lord.

And especially we give thanks on this day
That You so clearly understand that if You do not continue Your favors to us, we'll take our business elsewhere, so if You know what's good for you, You'll keep in line;
For this and all of your blessings we are truely grateful, oh Lord.

Romy
Senior Member

since 2000-05-28

Posts 1170
Plantation, Florida

1 posted 2000-11-20 06:36 PM

This is hilarious and even in fun, filled with a lot of truth for many people! Really enjoyed it, you're very clever!

Kevin Rose
Member

since 2000-11-20

Posts 64
Liverpool UK

2 posted 2000-11-20 07:03 PM

In 2 hours on the site I have experienced every emotion....

and this made me experience "10 yr old high school giggles".......

Hilarious..... a true masterpiece of mirth!

Dopey Dope