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Grubbymitts
Junior Member
since 2001-08-30
Posts 37
UK

0 posted 2002-07-05 03:33 PM


Insanity
by Grubbymitts

I stand alone on the edge of the void
my heart may have stopped hours ago.
I have no idea how I got here.
Should I just jump or should I turn and go?

My heart may have stopped beating hours ago.
I'm really not sure where my path leads to.
Should I just jump or should I turn and go?
If I could I would ask you what to do.

I'm really not sure where my path leads to -
which direction should I take to be free?
If I could I would ask you what to do.
I can't ask you when you're not here with me.

Which direction should I take to be free?
I have no idea how I got here.
I can't ask you when you're not here with me.
I stand alone on the edge of the void.  

Grot, Grub 'n' Grime - poetry for the undiscerning.

© Copyright 2002 Simon Tinsley - All Rights Reserved
Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
1 posted 2002-07-05 05:22 PM




(sigh) Always follow your heart and He will always carry and lead you in the right direction, for the guiding light leads to all of lifes necessities! (big hugggssssss) This is excellent, sweet friend, we all love you so much, God Bless You! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Simon, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Joyce Johnson
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912
Washington State
2 posted 2002-07-05 06:32 PM


You have a dilemna, but ask the Lord.  Without doubt He IS there with you.  Interesting poetry.Joyce
Dulcinea
Senior Member
since 2001-07-22
Posts 774
IN
3 posted 2002-07-05 06:54 PM


I have always enjoyed this form, though I can't remember which one it is. Just call upon Him, he will come to your aid! Very good writing!
Grubbymitts
Junior Member
since 2001-08-30
Posts 37
UK
4 posted 2002-07-06 02:56 AM


Thanks.  The style of poetry is called a pantoum.  It's a very effective way to write.  Can you spot the pattern?

I don't know about calling on Him to sort out my problems, I think He might have too many of His own to worry about.

Grot, Grub 'n' Grime - poetry for the undiscerning.

Lighthousebob
Member Elite
since 2000-06-14
Posts 4725
California
5 posted 2002-07-08 03:19 PM


Grubbymitts,

Very well written Pantoum style poem where  the second and fourth lines of each stanza become the first and third lines of the next one.  I also like a Pantoum best if the poem ends with the same line that the poem begins.  Again, very nicely done.  (Hehe) Reading your poem here from an insane person's point and view, which is not that very difficult for me to imagine, I think it is very well written.  Sometimes jumping from the edge of a void is the best thing... it does all depend largely on where we land.  Amen.  GOD bless and thank you for sharing with us your diversity in poetry.

-Bob

Lighthousebob
Member Elite
since 2000-06-14
Posts 4725
California
6 posted 2002-07-09 02:01 PM


Grubbymitts,

I've written you a Pantoum as well.  I hope you like it. It's named "It's In GOD's Word."

GOD bless.

-Bob

sandgrain
Member Elite
since 1999-09-21
Posts 3662
Sycamore, IL, USA
7 posted 2002-07-09 10:09 PM


Wow! You jumped into forming a wonderful write.  I surely enjoyed it.

  Rae

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