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ellie LeJeune
Member Elite

since 2000-01-10

Posts 4156
King of Prussia, PA USA

0 posted 2000-01-25 07:21 AM

Only when I was drowning,
could I begin to cry for
        help.
Only when I found safe harbor
        in these rooms,
could I begin to be free of
        fear and pain.
Only when my soul had faced
        the emptiness within,
and embraced the pain,
and given up the battle,
that raged in endless defeat.
Only when I could see
        clearly enough,
to glimpse dimly the love
        within me.
Only when I began to reach
        within myself,
and gather all the fragments,
I had long ago
        abandoned,
or never really knew,
and acceptedall the feelings
        as my own.
All the experience of
        my life,
  one by one,
as belonging only to me.
Only when the surrender of
        my will and my life, to God,
began in earnest.
Surrender of all things, all
        people,
and most of all, all
        of me.
Only when I began to
        listen,
to hear my child within.
Only when I embraced her
        as only mine.
Nurtured and loved her,
as she had never been
        loved before.
Only then could I begin
to feel one with God,
and imagine reaching out,
and embracing the universe
        with Love.

note: I wrote this quite a few years ago while attending Adult Children of Alcoholics meetings. Here God healed me and I began my spiritual journey.

02

Songbird
Member Elite

since 1999-12-15

Posts 2184
Missouri

1 posted 2000-01-25 09:50 AM

This is beautiful and so true, at some point in our life I think we all have to go back and love that inner child, that got left out standing in the rain, in order to better our life and the ones we love. Nice to see another one of your poems.

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

2 posted 2000-01-25 10:05 AM

Ellie,
this poem touches me in many ways for many reasons. It is beautifully written and tells of your strength and faith and kindness.
Thank you for sharing your lessons of life so others who are looking for these answers can find healing too. Janet Marie

ellie LeJeune
Member Elite

since 2000-01-10

Posts 4156
King of Prussia, PA USA

3 posted 2000-01-25 10:31 AM

septsong and janet marie; thanks for your lovely response.

02

WhtDove
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-07-22

Posts 9245
Illinois

4 posted 2000-01-25 10:52 PM

This was lovely! You know, I think we all hit the bottom of the pit before we cry out for help! But I guess we can look back to when we didn't have God...and know the difference of then and now! His ways don't always make sense to us, but I'm thankful He knows what he's doing! Thank you for sharing this! Well done!

<*\\\><
Where there is faith,
there is love.
Where there is love,
there is peace.
Where there is peace,
there is GOD.
Where there is GOD,
there is no need.

Hallmark

BSC

Moderator

Member Elite

since 2000-02-04

Posts 2919
New York, USA

5 posted 2000-03-09 09:01 PM

Oh Ellie, I just found this as I was going back through the listings.....I wish I had seen it a loooong time ago... and, I mean years ago!!! I had intended to go to some of those meetings, never got around to it and stayed mired, trying to figure it all out... I'm slowly getting there, and this has helped so much, your inspiration just doesn't end.
Thanks, Bonnie

Alle'cram
Senior Member

since 2000-02-28

Posts 1816
Texas

6 posted 2000-03-09 09:18 PM

Dear Ellie,
  Thank you for the courage to write this humbling poem. This is where you found your strength and this is when I had to rely on  strength, from God, to get me through the same years with our youngest son. He still attends these meetings and thank you again Jesus for answering a Mothers prayer.
  The poem so touched me in ways I can not say.
  Love
  Marcy

[This message has been edited by Alle'cram (edited 03-09-2000).]

rwood
Member Elite

since 2000-02-29

Posts 3793
Tennessee

7 posted 2000-03-10 05:57 AM

Dear Ellie. Your words capture the exquisite
beauty of surrending all and trusting in him.
It truly is a new birth. You seemed to glow with it here. I love your wisdom and elegance in your poetry.
Sincerely,
Rwood

sandgrain
Member Elite

since 1999-09-21

Posts 3662
Sycamore, IL, USA

8 posted 2000-03-10 06:00 PM

Ellie, Amen to each and every rave response already written! Isn't it amazing how free we truely are the moment we trust our Lord fully? Now I can't imagine how I kept going before knowing that comfort. Thank you for sharing this.

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