A jigsaw puzzle of pieces that never fit
regardless how hard I worked on it
pretty much describes my former life
that held little joy and endless strife

I believed in a God, yet felt so alone
with mountains of problems I thought I owned
Five growing children and finances tight
I worked fast and hard late into each night

Our Lord persued me relentlessly
(in retrospect, it's clear to see)
sending customers who knew Him well
for homes I was licensed to sell

Then my daughter's friend's home burned
While they stayed with us, I learned
scriptures she'd read and praises sing
though she'd lost every material thing

She'd offer sincere beautiful prayers
in efforts to ease OUR cares
With four precious kids, she'd just divorsed
a guy who'd used physical force

She had no job or other means
but a faith I'd never seen
Told me about Christian radio
to learn while on the go

She moved but by all she'd left
I'd never been more impressed
Then from pastors on the radio
our real God I came to know

Puzzle pieces all fell into place
as I embraced His loving grace
Learning His control and mercy
brought joy and peace to me

In my case there was a period of time in which the dawning took place. (Slow learner)    Many contributed to affirming my faith to the point I longed to  relinquish my ever failing control to Christ's certainty.  Early on, I'd learned only to fear God and always felt guilty for not being able to love Him as I knew I should.  It's extremely hard, if not impossible, to love who we fear, so learning of His love for us removed that huge stumbling block.