Open Poetry #4 |
Mere a Memory |
Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Music mine swirls me in my yesterday and tomorrow now lies mere a memory ...you are the ghosted past... lucid days an ever-time of lived caress a twirl of shaking shadows from clouds long passed cold sunlit warmth field-caught in harvest gold scents the breath in you sweet lover lost days to come away far I face for I whisper-waltz the paths of known dance and sway there safe my wrinkled feet whirl not the dusted floor but grace a river's flow and yester-breeze paints light in war-time eyes so bright ...sweet lover lost turn slow twirl with me... KM 19.11.99 |
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© Copyright 1999 Kamla Mahony - All Rights Reserved | |||
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Oh, my! I wish I could write free verse like this! Excellent, Severn! |
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Pepper Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079Southern Florida |
Exquisite! ------------------ A soul that writes from the heart and shares it, truly gives a gift extraordinaire! |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Oh severn, this is wonderful In graceful dance I see you swirl twirling spinning falling once more into loves sweet arms |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
So lovely, Severn! Simply beautiful! ------------------ Denise |
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poetFemmeFatale Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646Arkansas |
Exquisitely beautiful when you write through tears, my dear. You are certainly good at free verse, I agree...keep writing! ------------------ ~~ Lift your head high - spread your "words" and fly - - poetFemmeFatale |
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DreamEvil Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396 |
Beautiful indeed my friend. ------------------ Now and forever, my heart hears ~one voice~. DreamEvil© ------------------------------------------------------- "Either kill me or take me as I am, because I'll be damned if I ever change..." Count Donatien Alphonse Francois de Sade (Marquis de Sade) |
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Spring Heeled Jim Junior Member
since 1999-11-22
Posts 19Paris, Texas |
Gobsmacking ------------------ On tops all I need I got rythm when I bleed |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
By the way - this just isn't about me! Not only can I not dance at all but I am under 25!!! LOL. PdV - goodness, what a lovely thing for you to say! I wish I could write structured verse! Pepper - high praise from you my friend. Ruth - Love belongs to more than dance it wears the face of honest twirls and swirls a merry space of trusting truth spinning falling there I go and will walk soon when the dance has slowed... Thanks dear friend Denise - Simply lovley words pFF - ever a gracious reply. Thanks Dream - my friend - good to 'hear' your voice. SHJ - well, keep coming to netpoets and you'll find your mouth is always full! LOL - thankyou! |
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mirjam Member
since 1999-11-24
Posts 246Auckland, New Zealand |
Wow severn what a poem! The vessel indeed - your talent is a passion that comes straight from your heart and soul and i absolutely love the way your words twirl around each other - although you may think dancing has been lost here your poem dances - the words dance, your heart still dances. I especially loved stanza 4 and 5 - "field caught in harvest gold" i mean severn those words together - this poem touched me as all your poems do. |
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Ohme Senior Member
since 1999-07-17
Posts 816Texas |
I wish I could do this. LOL Free verse is difficult for me. ------------------ Yesterday is history, tomorrow just a mystery. And if today is good to me how could I ask for more? |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
I agree, Severn. Your style is very enviable. Very good work. |
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
Beautiful style, beautiful poem, exquisite really ------------------ The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there IS to celebrate. ~Isis~ (Daughter of Mystery) |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Oh Wow! Yet more blushings... Mirjam - Go look at your own verse my talented friend!!! Ohme - well, we all have our unique styles. Thanks! Balladeer - you honour me. Isis - high praise my friend, high praise. |
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RainbowGirl Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023United Kingdom |
Severn: Absolutely beautiful...*sigh* HUGS ------------------ There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle, or the mirror that reflects it... |
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Seaangel Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 167Auckland, New Zealand |
evoking the wartime nature of love, perhaps? I keep seeing an image of two lovers dancing on a dusty floor in a circle of light. lovely. |
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caroline Senior Member
since 1999-08-16
Posts 1218http://members.xoom.com/belladona123/index.htm |
Severn, every time I think you've outdone yourself, you do it again Truly an exquisite piece of writing. ------------------ It's not the love you fear, but the fall from the height~Edwin McCain |
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