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Open Poetry #4
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Martie
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since 1999-09-21
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California

0 posted 1999-11-20 07:02 PM


Termites are flying


Termites are flying
all through the air
they crawl up the walls
then they land in my hair

I can here them chewing
when I’m trying to sleep
then when I get up
they make not a peep

They climb from the corners
they leave quite a mess
the plaster is crumbling
so am I from the stress

I called on dear Ortho
to come take a look
he shook his head sadly
and wrote in his book

He brought out his poison
and he hooked up his drill
and he filled up all chambers
with stuff that could kill

and now that I thought
I was done with this louse
I found out the hard way
they held up the house.

Balladeer help me
my story’s so grim
what are my chances
are they really slim?

for a peaceful nights sleep
in a chew free abode
you are the expert
or so I am told.

© Copyright 1999 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved
Balladeer
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since 1999-06-05
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Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
1 posted 1999-11-20 07:49 PM


OH, Martie, I'm so sad to hear
This happening to you.
Those termites are an evil lot.
They only live to chew.

They love to eat all kinds of wood.
It's what they're born to do.
You should have seen Pinocchio by
The time that they were through!

In Africa it's different.
On termites, natives munch
So maybe you could grab a plate
And have a few for lunch.

There is no answer, I'm afraid.
They ARE creatures of God,
Though, why he made such ugly ones,
I do find rather odd.

There's only one thing to be done,
To just turn on the gas
And, as the house fills up with smoke,
Scream, "Shove THAT up your a--!"

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
2 posted 1999-11-20 07:59 PM


laughing at your poem and Balladeers response, good echos you two
Martie
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since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
3 posted 1999-11-20 08:33 PM


Okay I tried the one plan
I’m good at what I do
I prepared a special sauce
to make that termite stew

I simmered it and stirred all day
and added fresh picked herbs
then garlic and an onion
and the carrots from the yard.

I thickened it with corn starch
and flavored with a cube
of bullion beef or chicken
I added both for you

What kind of wine
I’m not quite sure
if red meat or the white
a dry white one or robust red?
maybe both will be the brew

Now, dinners almost ready
and honey's almost home
As I set the table
I’m grateful I’m alone

For underneath the table
I have this feeling still
abides a hungry termite
and to eat wood is his thrill.


Balladeer
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since 1999-06-05
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Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
4 posted 1999-11-20 08:57 PM


That termite stew sounds pretty good
And, if you got some more,
May I suggest a termite roast
Or termite thermidor?

Termite burgers are quite good
With termite onion rings
Termites steamed are great but it's
SO hard to peel those things!

Wash it down with termite tea
Or maybe termite wine
And termite baked Alaskan for dessert
Makes it devine.

Just follow these great recipes
My grandma passed to me
And you'll run out of termites
In no time. Just try and see!

Martie
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since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
5 posted 1999-11-20 09:34 PM


Okay, now what should I do
I'm afraid I've ruined
my termite stew,
while I was waiting
for the wine to chill
while all was quiet
and all was still
the table lurched
and the floor caved in
and my termite stew...

well you can just imagine the mess
it got all over my best dress
and to top it off
my husband called
and said eat without me
I've a late night call.

Pepper
Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079
Southern Florida
6 posted 1999-11-20 10:21 PM


ROFL...Martie and Balladeer....This has been a delight to read!! You both are wonderful together here.....! As you can see, I've really enjoyed the read......'S'....
Marilyn
Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621
Ontario, Canada
7 posted 1999-11-20 11:03 PM


lmao...you two are making my tummy hurt!
poetFemmeFatale
Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646
Arkansas
8 posted 1999-11-20 11:21 PM


Well gees....I don't know what brought this on, but am so tickled I stumbled onto it !! hehehe Um...sounds like a personal problem to me.

I use Raid on critters - kills everything, even the grass ! Might want to invest in a few cans! LMAO

------------------
~~ Lift your head high - spread your "words" and fly - - poetFemmeFatale


Balladeer
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since 1999-06-05
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Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
9 posted 1999-11-20 11:46 PM


Well, Martie, not much more to say
I really am perplexed
Your woes can only be undone
By God or Terminex.

Head north, my girl, Alaska way,
And pack long underwear.
Build a nice, cold igloo, 'cause
They don't have termites there!

Marge Tindal
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since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
10 posted 1999-11-20 11:55 PM


Martie - Great humor all the way through.
Balladeer - Great recipe for termite stew.
You two both have me laughing at the very idea of it.


------------------
~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245
Illinois
11 posted 1999-11-21 01:04 AM


What a team the two of you make! Great and entertaining! Too good, keep em coming....
Sunshine
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since 1999-06-25
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Listening to every heart
12 posted 1999-11-21 07:43 AM


Geez, first toilet paper, now termite stew!!
What are we going to do with the two of you!

ROTFLMRO

Wilfred Yeats
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since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704
Wilmington, Delaware
13 posted 2000-09-08 12:38 PM


another post (and replies) that has me ROTFLMAOPRDML
Mysteria
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since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
14 posted 2006-01-25 12:15 PM


You two are both a little "buggy!"  I did have to read this before going to bed didn't I? LOL, you are both wonderful!
Balladeer
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since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
15 posted 2006-01-25 12:38 PM


Wow! I had forgotten about this one! That WAS fun. Thanks for bringing it back, Sharon


What a difference a few years makes. Today it wouldn't be allowed because i ended the first response with a--.

Progress? Guess so...

Fee
Member
since 2000-08-07
Posts 381
Melbourne, Australia
16 posted 2006-01-25 11:19 AM


Thanks for the giggles.

You guys have amazing gifts, I love reading your work and learning from you.

Big Hugs, Fee

Expressions,
are the most important aspects, they create impressions

0'.".'0  Just
((T))    Thinking
(..)(..) Of you
(```)_(```)

Martie
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since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
17 posted 2006-08-19 11:37 AM


Recalling how fun this one...seems such a long time ago.  Happy Birthday, Deer!!
Balladeer
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Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
18 posted 2006-08-19 07:52 PM


Seems like decades ago, Martie! That was a lot of fun, wasn't it?
Sunshine
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since 1999-06-25
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Listening to every heart
19 posted 2006-08-20 02:13 PM



So duet again, you two!


Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
20 posted 2007-11-12 07:16 PM


Enjoyed this poem, i say what suinshine says lol

ARCTIC WIND

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