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Snyxx, snyxx, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...
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Snyxx, snyxx, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz... |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
WENT to SLEEP IN the BACK, CHANCED to DREAM SYLlaBLES COUNTing NINE IT would SEEM, THERE'S a MAN UP in FRONT LOOKS like "DEER" 'CEPT for HIM IT'S just ME AIN'T that WIERD? THERE'S this SCHOOL 'BOUT like THE INstiTUTE ONly HERE KNOWledge IS Our purSUIT SEEMS these DAYS THERE are FEW WHO would LEARN LOUDly SNORE AND aWAIT THEIR reTURN. SUREly SOMEONE will COME PRETty SOON BY the LIGHT OF the FULL HARvest MOON I preDICT MASSive INFLUX of FOLKS EIther THAT OR this DREAM WAS a HOAX, AND as SUCH WAS a RAMBLE at BEST WAKE me UP IF there WILL BE a TEST. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz, sknxx, zzzzzzzzzzz... |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
hehe...if there is a test for the last lesson, I suggest you don't enter this one as homework....ain't even close (although cute). |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Balladeer, Cute? Lol, time to hit the books and get ready for the test. Oh, and hey, if you don't mind, please clarify, very few examples of this type of poetry come up on google search, wikipedia, et al. I know I tend to throw my stresses around but if you'd critique this a little more I may find out where I have strayed. (please don't make me call Pete, lol) Doc [This message has been edited by Dr.Moose1 (10-08-2008 08:20 PM).] |
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Oklahoma Rose Senior Member
since 2008-02-28
Posts 1586Oklahoma USA |
Dr. Moose, please don't confuse me! I am still (to this day) trying to get the Iambic Pentemeter perfected. Hmmmmm! What kind of meter is this? |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Well, Doc, you can read it and put stresses anywhere you want as a writer but the secret to specific meter is making the reader put the stresses in the same places. I'm afraid you don't do that here. For example, your first sentence to me would be perfect anipestic.... went to SLEEP in the BACK, chanced to DREAM. You are putting an accent on WENT and on IN, which I can't see a reader doing. There are several other areas where this occurs. I'll display how I would read this poem... went to SLEEP in the BACK,chanced to DREAM SYLlables COUNTing NINE it would SEEM there's a MAN up in FRONT looks like DEER 'cept for HIM it's just ME AIN'T that WEIRD? there's this SCHOOL 'BOUT LIKE the INstiTUTE only HERE KNOWledge IS our purSUIT seems these DAYS there are FEW who would LEARN loudly SNORE and aWAIT their reTURN SUREly SOMEone will COME PRETty SOON by the LIGHT of the FULL HARvest MOON i preDICT MASSive INflux of FOLKS either THAT or this DREAM was a HOAX. As you can see, the poem is actually about 80% anipestic. To create your poem in the requested format, you accented words like " is-there-by-of-or-was-and" and by making "someone" and "influx" spondees, which they are not. That's why you don't find many examples. It ain't easy.... |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
TESTing... TESTing... TESTing...  |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Oklahoma Rose, I wouldn't try to confuse anyone ( amuse? that's a different story ) Doc Balladeer, Thanks,I think I follow. It is really easy for me to slip into anapestic meter. Rather than try to fix all that's wrong with my first attempt I'll try another. Doc Nan, Now you're trying to confuse me, "TESTing" would be dactylic, no? Doc |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
I think what NAN meant was TEETer TOTS!  |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Stomp your feet make some noise clap your hands Balladeer's got da moves hockey fans. Faking right breaking left there he goes using rules hard and fast no one knows. He's da coach 'bove reproach this is true (Doctor Moose often don't have a clue) hard to say hoof in mouth tongue in cheek bustin' chops most ' the time so to speak. Easy? No, this is tough hold that thought but once coached by the "deer" you've been taught, shoot and score slam that puck send it home git 'er done pass the test write a poem. Get your schtick up to par then play nice hope this quacks' medicine will suffice. |
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Alison 
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
I have never seen such a clever moose. Never |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
You shot and scored, Moose. Bullseye!  |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Alison, Why, thank you very much. If I hadn't been sleeping in class I may have picked up on this sooner, but I doubt it. There are lots of times my "dums" have a "b" in them. Doc Balladeer, Thanks, both for the challenge, and your patience. Doc |
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ken206573 Member
since 2008-10-14
Posts 487 |
hey there DR.Moose1. i love your poem. i think it's great, funny, and outstanding. hope to hear more of your poems |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Ken, Thank you very much, you are obviously a man of highly refined and discriminating tastes, and I am honored to be the recipient of your first post. Welcome to Passions, I'm sure I speak for all of us here when I say we hope you enjoy your stay. Doc |
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ken206573 Member
since 2008-10-14
Posts 487 |
thank you for greeting me. i'm quite pleased. but there's something i should tell at least. i'm more like venus not mars |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
that's ok, Ken. Moose is more like Uranus. |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Balladeer, This could prove to be quite inspirational, oh planetary pundit. Doc |
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