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Dr.Moose1
Member Elite

since 1999-09-05

Posts 3448
Bewilderment , USA

0 posted 2008-07-30 12:28 PM

Having shed my concern and returned from the shed
I lay down on the down of a comforted bed
and make light of these facts as I turn off the light,
those who rose might suppose that a rose could be red.

One should not pick a rose with a pick, be polite,
and should not stick a stick up their nose, not too bright,
but a thorn in the side tends to side with the thorn
while the left brain has hopes it might fight the good fight.

I will scorn off the fact that I'm oft' met with scorn
and attempt an attempt not done since I was born
like a rabbit may rabbit when pulled from a hat
to effect an escape and escape 'til the morn.

I now leave by your leave and it's over like that,
one might grasp in their grasp that it's not tit for tat,
but to reach for the prize by extending ones' reach
can be learned from the learned if they teach like the "Teach"

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

1 posted 2008-07-30 10:50 PM

You are brilliant.

I suspect this was easy for you (if I'm wrong, correct me? Use discipline if necessary!

)

And I promise I won't write another poem on your thread. (It took me a long time to realize that was rude and I slipped...)

I remain your devoted fan, even as I fan the flames...

*chuckle*

Dr.Moose1
Member Elite

since 1999-09-05

Posts 3448
Bewilderment , USA

2 posted 2008-07-31 02:46 PM

Karen,
Nope, not "easy", consider yourself disciplined. As for posting another poem
on any of my threads, you're welcome to anytime ( I'm not sure of the social protocol involved here but, I must warn you,
given my very limited reader base you'd probably get more feedback if you wrote it in Mandarin Chinese, stuck it in a bottle, and threw it in the ocean, lol). But, back to "easy", this was written over a six hour period with numerous rewrites, add ons, deletions etc. I was trying to get a verb/ noun combo in every line but had to stick in some adverb/noun combos to maintain continuity.
Thanks as always,
Doc

[This message has been edited by Dr.Moose1 (07-31-2008 08:03 PM).]

Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

3 posted 2008-07-31 05:51 PM

I've learned over the years that the easier something looks, the more effort went into it to make it look so.

I have to echo Serenity's brilliant. You have come up with some very clever wordplay here. I had to scramble to the dictionary to look up rabbit as a verb, but there it is. The only line I wasn't that fond of was the last line of the first stanza, bu the rest of it had me smiling from ear to ear.

I think what I enjoy most is that, in every exercize, whatever you come up with is done in perfect meter. To me, that is a highly prized ability.

Thanks for the effort you put into your product, antlered one. It's mucho appreciado...

Dr.Moose1
Member Elite

since 1999-09-05

Posts 3448
Bewilderment , USA

4 posted 2008-07-31 08:18 PM

Balladeer,
Well, slap me with a rubber rubaiyat, I'm simply stunned, lol. Yes, it does take effort( more so for some of us ) are the results worth it? They are if you define "reward" in the manner that means most to you ( translation, there ain't no money in it so you better enjoy what you're doing ). That, you can quote me on.
Doc

SkaaDee
Member

since 2008-04-07

Posts 116
Canada

5 posted 2008-07-31 11:26 PM

I like this kind of wordplay
and am building a building right now to house it.

Alison

Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-27

Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!

6 posted 2008-08-01 02:54 AM

Wow. I have been battling flood waters and have not been able to write - but you so make me want to. Maybe tomorrow or the next day. Maybe.

Dr Moose, you made me smile.

A

Dr.Moose1
Member Elite

since 1999-09-05

Posts 3448
Bewilderment , USA

7 posted 2008-08-02 04:23 PM

SkaaDee,
Thanks for dropping by, I hope all goes well with your building a building and that
they issue you a permit to permit you to build without issue.
Doc

Alison,
Hope all your flooding problems work out. I can certainly sympathize as I've spent over 25K trying to fix drainage problems on my property. Water is insidious, relentless and a few more esses I can think of. Best of luck, and I look forward to your speedy return.
Doc

Alison

Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-27

Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!

8 posted 2008-08-05 01:40 AM

Whoops, I posted my link in the wrong thread. Hey, Moose, thank you for thinking of me. I survived - just bummed up my back some lifting and carrying too much. Sometimes I am more stubborn than strong.

A

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