»
Main Forums
»
Poetry Workshop
»
August Challenge
| Poetry Workshop |
|
August Challenge |
|
|
Endlessecho Member
since 2003-09-05
Posts 398I live within myself |
I really never claim to know what I'm doing when it comes to form and this is a definite example of that. I tried. If I'm way off, please let me know. Thanks for the challenge. It was interesting. Loud, hot beat of a drum in flesh covered by Tarnished peach is a source of skin made sore and Eyes weary and unfocused blank along with Light, like flame in a wind that falters fast and Blowing strong and than not is bringing colors Bold, loud, dotting the space in view of nothing, To beg rest for the girl who knows no stopping. |
||
| © Copyright 2006 Endlessecho - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Brian James Member
since 2005-06-26
Posts 147Winnipeg |
Oh my! It's all one sentence. I have to admit that I am having a little bit of trouble following the train of thought in this poem. There's a lot of images that sort of come together without rhyme or reason (yes, I realize the challenge did not call for rhyme). In the end it's more than a little chaotic, and that might be the point of it all for all I know. From a formal point of view, though, you more or less pulled it off. I notice you opted to focus on trochees instead of spondees in the first part of each line, which makes your poem flow at a very rapid pace (which is what may have given me that sense of chaos). Thanks for taking a stab at this challenge, and I'm sorry it took me a while to have something to say about it. Brian "To me, the thing that art does for life is to clean it, to strip it to form." |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
