Poetry Workshop |
Haiku |
hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Bird flies gracefully Above me, on open wings Watching, I soar too _______________________________________ A tiger-striped cat Suns itself at my window Crowned queen for the day ________________________________________ 3-5-3 Haiku Fall sneaks in Disguised in colors To distract ________________________________________ Flying geese In vee formation Migrate south ------------------ Alis volat propriis (She flies with her own wings) [This message has been edited by hoot_owl_rn (edited 11-27-1999).] |
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© Copyright 1999 Ruth Kephart - All Rights Reserved | |||
jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
These are all excellent, Ruth. I like your communication of wonder experienced vicariously through the gracefully flying bird. Did you mean for the cat haiku to communicate both sides of vanity? If so you did an excellent job at doing it. The cat, thinking herself a queen, oblivious to the humble state of being a cat. Your autumn 3-4-3 haiku is my favorite one. Reading it gives me a sense of foreboding. That, I suspect, was what you meant for it to do. The second 3-4-3 is also very good but, because of its location in you posting, I think the autumn 3-2-3 steels its sunshine. ------------------ Jim "If I rest, I rust." -Martin Luther [This message has been edited by jbouder (edited 11-18-1999).] |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Jim, you are exactly right on the cat one...You know cats were considered royality back in egyptian times? Some still think they are Thanks for the wonderful comments |
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Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap |
First and third are my favorites, but they are all good -- hey, no fair, have you been practicing?? --Kess ------------------ You cannot choose the way of your death, but the path you choose will determine its own end. |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Nocturnal owl WHO Sees all peripherally Joys in rest of day ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Hey Ruth - These are great. My favorite is the fall colors sneaking in to distract us - about winter, no doubt.... I really like them all - You seem to have one syllable too many in the second line of your first entry - and you probably meant to have the cat "striped" rather than "stripped"... typo's are allowed, of course.... Nice job, overall, my friend... |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Fixed them Nan Thanks |
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