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Bridget Shenachie
Senior Member
since 2002-01-23
Posts 1056
Kansas USA

0 posted 2002-07-15 10:44 PM



Confusion Solutions

A Paradelle


Confusion causes pain,
Confusion causes pain,
The anguish of mental stress.
The anguish of mental stress.
Mental confusion anguish
Causes the pain of stress.

Frustration threatens hope.
Frustration threatens hope.
Determination wanes.
Determination wanes.
Hope, determination threatens...
Frustration wanes.

Solutions bringing relief,
Solutions bringing relief,
The answers may be slow.
The answers may be slow.
Answers may be the solutions,
Bringing slow relief.

Determination bringing solutions,
Threatens frustration.
Answers slow the confusion.
Hope may be the relief of anguish
Stress causes.
Mental pain wanes.




© Copyright 2002 Louise Ryan - All Rights Reserved
SmartChick
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-09-23
Posts 7081
On A Journey To The Unknown
1 posted 2002-07-19 11:42 PM


As far as I can tell, you did real good on this.
Dr.Moose1
Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448
Bewilderment , USA
2 posted 2002-07-20 08:46 PM


Bridget,
The repetitive nature of this format tends to put me off. You have done well as far as I understand it. The strength of the initial phrase (and the subject) have to be able to withstand the repetition, which in this case, works. Well done.
Doc

kaile
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146
singapore
3 posted 2002-07-23 01:54 AM


Bridget,
bravo my classmate!

"frustration threatens hope"

succinctly said! makes me look at my problems in a new light..now, if i just can internalise that lesson in me..hmmm...

Bridget Shenachie
Senior Member
since 2002-01-23
Posts 1056
Kansas USA
4 posted 2002-07-23 04:47 AM


Hi Sue!  Thanks for reading and commenting.  I appreciate your encouragement.

Hi Doc!  I agree with you that the repetitive nature of this form is a bit uncomfortable.  It tends to berate the issue.  Thanks for your analysis.  I do enjoy attempting the different formats for learning purposes and growth. I appreciate your comments.

Hi faterider!  Thanks for your cheers and commentary.  Succinct is a kind way to put it.  I spent too many years in technical writing and write very tight.  I'm trying to move beyond my terse verse and develop some poetic imagery.  Didn't happen in this poem.  I'm learning from all of you.



Shenachie


Not A Poet
Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885
Oklahoma, USA
5 posted 2002-07-23 04:14 PM


Ok, I confess that I just don't like the form but my hat is off to anyone who can pull it off.

Pete

Never express yourself more clearly than you can think - Niels Bohr

Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
6 posted 2002-08-01 11:30 AM


Bridget, you're just digging right into these bizarre poetic formats and doing a splendid job!  I think you're a great asset to this place.  Nicely done, m'friend..
Bridget Shenachie
Senior Member
since 2002-01-23
Posts 1056
Kansas USA
7 posted 2002-08-06 11:47 PM


Hi Pete!  Thanks for reading and commenting.

Hello Miss Nan!  I appreciate your kind response and I do want you to know that you are truly appreciated for efforts in teaching this class.  I finding that I have a lot to learn!

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