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Latecomers attempt at a Pure Sonnet
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Latecomers attempt at a Pure Sonnet |
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Canuckster Member
since 2002-01-09
Posts 285New Mexico, USA 
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On the Poetic Couch Again I trace a tattoo on my wall of hide And wince when tissue scarred is rendered up to touch.The pain that comes from this, aside, The sorrow more than overflows my cup. Wood smoke nostalgias waft and slowly wane, As gouts of angst then undertow my wade. Damned if I wrest the locks that keep me sane, Left then to float within my marinade. Where then the leech of time can concentrate upon the fluid bile, within my sea of self-design boiled hot with flames of hate; with no escape … there’s none that I can see. Small wonder when the mists raise up and spring, I quickly turn away from what they bring. © Bart Breen 1/18/2002 never try to teach a pig to sing it wastes your time AND annoys the pig |
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| © Copyright 2002 Bart Breen - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
This is a very well constructed sonnet, Bart...  Now - You gonna tell us about your tattoo???..  |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Bart, All the ingredients blend well, including a touch of the mysterious. Un-like Nan though, I think you already described your tattoo well enough for me ( an' I don't want to know where its' located.) Doc |
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Canuckster Member
since 2002-01-09
Posts 285New Mexico, USA |
Hmmmm ..... The Tatoo is a metaphore ...... I was prepared to tell you about the bachelor party in Tiajauna, after the 15th shot of Tequila, the last thing I remember was my buddies suggesting a butterfly would look good right on my *&@#(&$^*#^, but I decided to spare you all that. (Besides .... the teddy bear looks much better there anyway .......) never try to teach a pig to sing it wastes your time AND annoys the pig [This message has been edited by Canuckster (01-22-2002 03:41 PM).] |
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
Oh boy, another poet who makes me run for my dictionary! LOL Honestly though,I had to translate parts of your sonnet since there are a number of words I'm not familiar with. I think I like what it says...yes think, as I'm still not quite sure if I fully comprehend everything. Anyway, I enjoyed the read and... I learned new words.  Thanks.  |
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