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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash 
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Dust encrusted, cracked and lidless plate-glassed eyes Reveal the gutted, soiled and lifeless void That once upon a better time enjoyed The warmth of love and light that fortifies A home; but now an empty husk belies Imprinted shades that haunt the now destroyed House as if youthful happiness that buoyed The sagging ceiling trusses still defies The years that mark the crumbling gray facade Staring in row-house death beyond the broken Porch to the treeless street that wears with pride The title “Incubator Row” as God- Cursed silence sadly echoes the unspoken Loss of the revenant that peers inside. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Jim Bouder - All Rights Reserved | |||
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
Jim, You're talent shines in this one. Though I know your meaning, it could be interpreted so many ways. Layers could be peeled away, and there would yet be life in this sonnet. Kris the poet's pen...gives to airy nothing A local habitation and a name ~ Shakespeare |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
The first time I read this was just in marveling at the way you put words together. Then I read again for the meaning of it. Sounds like someone returned to their childhood home, to find it a long abandoned row house, not the way it looked in happy youthful days. Sometimes you can't go home again, but I recently went back to a childhood home in the hills of Chester County, and it was like walking back into my childhood. What an experience. Anyway, this is an interesting sonnet, difficult phrases put to perfect meter I like the sound of it, especially the first four lines.The entire sonnet is full of great images, though I didn't understand "Incubator Row", unless that was the real name of the neighborhood To put this topic and these image filled prases into the form of a sonnet is an incredible feat, my friend. In admiration Liz |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Your work is always exceptional, of course - and time does take its toll - This piece could be interpreted literally as "This old house" or metaphorically as the human aging process - nice job, my friend.. Your Petrarchan/Italian rhyme scheme is nicely in order....  Your incorporation of poetic license always befuddles me, of course - But I know you do that just to rile me up... ... and your deviations from standard iambic pentameter do of course work in your poetry....Geesh - will this class ever listen?? |
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
Kris: Thanks for the reply and for the compliments.  Elizabeth: Not quite an "incredible feat" but I appreciate the compliment anyway. Nan: Thanks for being so accepting of my "poetic license". I am sure you realize that Pope, Shakespeare, Poe and countless others used the same licenses that befuddle you now with my poem.  I know I didn't follow your directions exactly so I won't be upset if you give me a lower grade. Thanks for replying, Nan.Jim |
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