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Without You (Extended Metaphor)
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Without You (Extended Metaphor) |
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563
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Finished this assignment early, since I am so very late on the last one. I am lost, Adrift... My sails torn to shreds, With no anchor, No direction, I am tossed by large swells, Shaken by tempestuous winds, Carried away by under currents, Further into the thick, confusing foggy murk that has enshrouded me, I have not seen sun, moon, nor stars, Not the slightest bit of light. Angry, I curse the forces that have brought about this plight, Then dampening spirit tells me to lie back, To give in to the sounds of the crushing waves But I summon every bit of energy I have within me... And I ride over the crests, Knowing that my rock, my anchor, You...are also alone, holding your own vessel steady, And I must learn to navigate this frightening, solitary sea without you. Kris< !signature--> the poet's pen...gives to airy nothing A local habitation and a name ~ Shakespeare [This message has been edited by warmhrt (edited 04-02-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 warmhrt - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Hi Kris, Beautiful. This looks exactly like what our goal was. Somehow I knew you would be first to finish this one (this being one of your strongest points anyway)  This is truly a beautifully done, touching piece. Thanks so much for sharing it.Pete What terms shall I find sufficiently simple in their sublimity -- sufficiently sublime in their simplicity -- for the mere enunciation of my theme? Edgar Allan Poe |
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
Thank you, Pete. I don't know if it's a strong point, but I enjoy this type of writing very much. I find it requires more right brain stuff...the creative part of me, and gives it a work-out (which it sorely needs every once in a while). Kris the poet's pen...gives to airy nothing A local habitation and a name ~ Shakespeare |
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
Nan, (Putting her paper on Nan's desk) I finished the assignment a bit ago... Can I get my grade now, so I can just goof off for the rest of the month , and I won't have to come to class till the next assignment (please?) Think I'll go shopping and out to eat lunch.....or (she turns, lifts a multi-loaded straw to her mouth, pops Jim square in the forehead, as his jaw drops open...she turns slightly, and hits Pete just above the ear as he turns to look at Jim...then she makes a bee-line for the door). That was fun!! |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Hey Jim, *wiping sloppy wad of paper from ear* with that sharp legal mind of yours, do you think she'd claim sexual harrassment if we tackle her before she gets out the door? And more importantly, if so, can we beat the rap? |
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
*Hiding in the ladies' room, she looks at her straw...two left! She puts a couple of drops of that thick, smelly soap into the far end, and lets it soak into the paper, thinking about how it will really SPLAT when it hit's a target. Checks hallway...all clear. Back against the wall at the doorway, she lifts the straw, turns ... Philip, who has been catching up on his work, and has not noticed anything going on, feels something hit him in the head, then slide off his hair, leaving behind a gooey mess. He looks around, but sees nothing but grinning faces around him.* |
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
Kris: Nice poem, Kris. More detail tonight, hopefully, but I'm swamped with work right now. *Jim snickers and points out to Pete the "Kick Me" note taped to Kris's back* Jim P.S. Pete ... I don't know what the outcome would be but tackling her sounds like fun ... damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead!!! [This message has been edited by jbouder (edited 04-06-2000).] |
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
Jim, Thanks for reading, and for the nice things you said about it. Can't wait to see yours. I thought for sure you'd do that epic assignment...but I know you've been very busy. *she sprints down the hall, thankful now that she'd gone to those gym classes. She flies through the front doors. A group of kids outside point and laugh; she discovers the sign...embarrassed  , she plans her next move.*Kris [This message has been edited by warmhrt (edited 04-07-2000).] |
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Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
It's hard to believe the low, dirty scullduggery that you ghastly lot will stoop to ... hummphh ..There i was mindin' my own business, dreaming up some nice innocent bit of amusement when "whapppppppppp" into my nice freshly shampooed and conditioned hair (or what's left of it) ..... k ...own up .. culprito?? who was it James? Pete? Kristine? Seagull? Pigeon? .....gotta be one of you dastardly gang ........ c'mere ... grrrrrrrrrr |
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
T H i S iS A N aN o NY m O u S n O T e j I m D i D I T |
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
Hey, is anyone else but Pete going to comment on my poem? huh? Please? the poet's pen...gives to airy nothing A local habitation and a name ~ Shakespeare |
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ESP Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556Floating gently on a cloud.... |
This is a beautiful extended metaphor...I lov e it! Love and hugs, Lizzie  |
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Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
I'll comment on your poem Kris just as soon as you gently comb all this goo outta my hair ~grin~ P Oops I forgot I'm not enrolled for this class .. maybe i shouldn't comment anyway? |
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
Kris, Sorry for being late. Life has been a little hectic lately. I think you did extremely well and you gave me more understanding of what's expected. Yeah......for a mind like mine extended metaphor is one of the hardest things. If I do only half as good as you, I'm happy.  |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Geesh.... Leave the room for a short time, and look at what happens.... Kris, this is a nice piece... You've made yourself the extended metaphor, by speaking in the first person and representing yourself as a ship at sea... Very nice concept. You've also incorporated some nice imagery - both metaphor and personification... Of course, you know I'm one of those easy teachers to figure out - All you need to do to win me over is write about the sea... and I might just fail to see those slimy things that are flying about the room......   [This message has been edited by Nan (edited 04-10-2000).] |
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
Munda, Thanks so much for your praise, but I know you can do it. If I can, so can you... Nan, Truly, Nan, I did not know about your love of the sea...I'm pretty new here, remember. I'm glad you think I did well, 'specially since I never did turn an epic in. (I just need to tell you that the guys are being real bullies...I think they need time out on the stools in the corner, and have to wear those funny hats with the "D" on the front.) BTW...I love the ship! Kris the poet's pen...gives to airy nothing A local habitation and a name ~ Shakespeare |
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
Lizzie, I apologize...I forgot to thank you for your very generous comment. I'm so glad you liked it. A BIG THANK YOU! Kris the poet's pen...gives to airy nothing A local habitation and a name ~ Shakespeare |
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