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The Dynamic Duo(-rhyme)
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The Dynamic Duo(-rhyme) |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA 
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Duo-rhyme The Duo-rhyme, a poetic form created by Mary L. Ports, is a 10 or 12-line poem, with the first two and last two lines having the same rhyme scheme, and the center of the poem (lines #3 through #8 or #10) having their own separate monorhyme scheme. Meter: 8 beats per line, written in iambic tetrameter (4 linear feet of iambic) Rhyme Scheme: 10-line: a,a,b,b,b,b,b,b,a,a and 12-line: a,a,b,b,b,b,b,b,b,b,a,a Example Visitation Oh, midnight wind with whisperings, come tease sweet fairy’s crystal wings. How gracefully she floats tonight with purple billows flowing bright. Dear, wistful spirit in the night, through starlit mist she casts her light. For welcomed cheek, a kiss just right is softly placed so that one might receive her blessings without fright; love’s beauty sought, a soul’s delight. To realms of wonder in my dreams I’ll float upon the songs she sings. Copyright © 2007 Mary L. Ports |
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Marc-Andre Senior Member
since 2008-12-07
Posts 501 |
1. You must have heard of ducks born black who cannot swim and cannot quack. It came to pass an old tzigane who, on her way to the divan (where sit the sages of Iran), came to the shores of Lake Sevan and fell asleep (she was quite wan.) Then from her lamp a droll shaitan escaped to play tricks on a swan by placing in her nest a guan. So don’t be shocked when, in your shack, you find a parrot that can quack. _________________________________________ 2. So you won’t end up black and blue, of far-off lands, I’ll tell you true: don’t dance too wildly to a zouk not after lunching on a snook bought in a hot and filthy souk for should you swallow down a fluke perhaps it could cause you to puke on the chibouk of a Shilluk or the peruke of a grand duke and you would get quite a rebuke. It’s safer at your local zoo or better still, Kalamazoo. [This message has been edited by Marc-Andre (10-20-2009 06:41 AM).] |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Marc-Andre, you certainly take the road less-traveled, don't you?  I wear out my dictionary, following you!  Having said that, this is brilliant work. It's fresh, innovative and a fine piece of writing.Write on, sir... |
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Marc-Andre Senior Member
since 2008-12-07
Posts 501 |
Yep, I try to live true to the words of Robert Frost 8) I'm glad to hear you've enjoyed it. Thought I'd try some children poetry (Ted Hughes poems are on my night table, along with Rossetti and Frost.) |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Janes' Lament Ol' beastie boy and I are quits as life with him is just the pits! Don't never mind that crap he tells this ain't no place for Southern belles. A freakin' igmoo's where he dwells the man don't bathe and PHEW, he smells! His lovin' sure don't ring no bells, I ask him for some measly shells, UNGAWA's all he ever yells! The very thought of him repells, I'm movin' back into the Ritz that loser y'all can kiss my grits! |
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rachaelfuchsberger
since 2007-02-21
Posts 609Las Vegas, NV |
Again, I will try this form. I have posted the rework of my other one from the last lesson, and posted it there. Arana Darkwolf |
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rachaelfuchsberger
since 2007-02-21
Posts 609Las Vegas, NV |
ToGEther WE are LOVE deFINED And NEVer WE need TO reMIND That WE will ALways BE as ONE Till LIFE on EARTH is DEAD and DONE ToGEther WE are MOON and SUN ForEVer YOU will BE the ONE Our SOULS will BE forEVer SPUN Our FATed LOVE nevER unDONE ToGEther AS lovERS' hearts BIND Our FATES will BE alWAYS enTWINED Arana Darkwolf |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Moose, I know it's a jungle out there but you are really into it, it appears! Poor Tarzan thought he was adored Until Jane threw him overboard! No more night swinging through the trees Or someone there to pick off fleas. Although he begged on bended knees She was not swayed by tearful pleas. To her heart he had lost the keys. He was so blind he didn't see That Jane was just a little tease Who had a thing for chimpanzees!! So much for our poor jungle Lord Who got tossed out without a word. |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Balladeer, Glad to see you're getting into the "swing" of things. Nip adoo 2u2. Doc |
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rachaelfuchsberger
since 2007-02-21
Posts 609Las Vegas, NV |
~patiently awaiting an analysis of my contribution~ Arana Darkwolf |
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rachaelfuchsberger
since 2007-02-21
Posts 609Las Vegas, NV |
~starts fidgeting~ Goddess grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Thanks for the budge, Rachel  You started off great but lost it in the last three lines, I'm afraid. Our FATed LOVE nevER unDONE ToGEther AS lovERS' hearts BIND Our FATES will BE alWAYS enTWINED Actually, that reads.... our FATed LOVE NEVer unDONE toGETher as LOVers' hearts BIND our FATES will be ALways enTWINED. |
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rachaelfuchsberger
since 2007-02-21
Posts 609Las Vegas, NV |
ToGEther WE are LOVE deFINED And NEVer WE need TO reMIND That WE will ALways BE as ONE Till LIFE on EARTH is DEAD and DONE ToGEther WE are MOON and SUN ForEVer YOU will BE the ONE Our SOULS will BE forEVer SPUN ForEVer WE will BE as ONE The WORLD will HEAR our LOVE'S oPINE ForEVer IS not Enough TIME Goddess grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. |
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rachaelfuchsberger
since 2007-02-21
Posts 609Las Vegas, NV |
~waits patiently for the critique of the re-write~ Goddess grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Got down to the last sentence! ForEVer IS not Enough TIME reads as... forEVer is NOT eNOUGH TIME forEVer IS NOT eNOUGH TIME |
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rachaelfuchsberger
since 2007-02-21
Posts 609Las Vegas, NV |
ToGEther WE are LOVE deFINED And NEVer WE need TO reMIND That WE will ALways BE as ONE Till LIFE on EARTH is DEAD and DONE ToGEther WE are MOON and SUN ForEVer YOU will BE the ONE Our SOULS will BE forEVer SPUN ForEVer WE will BE as ONE The WORLD will HEAR our LOVE'S oPINE Our LOVE is MORE than WHAT'S deFINED Goddess grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
By jove...I think she's got it!!!!  Way to hang in there, m'lady  |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
When I was young I felt a need, longed for the day when I could read. I sorted books as if to gauge that magic time I’d come of age to fly out from a silent cage, and join the letters on a page. Desire could not be assuaged; it sparked an ember, born to rage until I sat on center stage to read as if I were a sage. There came a day when I was freed and now I spread the reading seed. - Alison |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Alison, it is such a pleasure reading you these days. You were not off one syllable or beat in this entire poem....plus the subject matter is very clever. I applaud you, m'lady |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
I wish I was clever enough to express how much this time in the Workshop has meant to me. You have helped me every step of the way.  Thank you Alison |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Tarzans' Rebuttal Jane leave nyumba, made my day, farasi's punda anyway ! Tumbilis make a better mate for her to leave I just couldn't wait. No more "to do" list on my plate, the swingin' single life is great! She was one baya, bovu date, she made me want regurgitate and write Swahili to translate! I told her "Leave, don't hesitate, go take a hike without delay!" She made me gonjwa, as they say! |
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miscellanea Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060OH |
Before the great evaluation... I messed up and didn't read the instructions thoroughly! Well, that brings it down to at best a"B" bbbbbut, I had fun doing this anyway. I tried an experiment in using as few words as possible, and in doing that, I completely forgot it was supposed to have a monorhyme in between! Oh shucks! Well, here it goes anyway. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ To Home To home. Come alone with me to home And take the path alone of stone. Beneath the trees of leaves and rakes, Bequeath the bees the pollen safe When flies to golden cells of hives To please their queen of bee’s delight. Then,home the bees at rest will take For not the queen will they forsake. At forest edge of homeward go Where trees of leaves the wind does blow Above the eaves alone to roam To roam with you at home alone |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Hey, as long as you had fun, that's something. Moose, I had always wondered how you became gonjwa! |
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Eterne Member
since 2010-07-21
Posts 75Quebec, Canada |
Marc-Andre, your poem is hilarious! I think this duo-rhyme was invented to poems like yours :-) It reads well (plus it's a story), despite the monotonous rhymes in the middle and it does make a perfect sense: "You must have heard of ducks born black who cannot swim and cannot quack. (...) So don’t be shocked when, in your shack, you find a parrot that can quack." Brava! LOL! |
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Amaryllis Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306Mi now |
When Autumn`s vagrant zephyrs press upon September`s youthful zest, Oh then remember April frayed by wind and water cavalcade, or tender May, who with her spade prepared for June a bright parade and how July, inspired, made an August sunshine marmalade, so let the daylight effervesce and recognize which is, is best. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Beyond impressive, Amaryllis! The form is exact, the meter is perfection, and the poem content is very clever. Thanks so very much for sharing this... |
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Amaryllis Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306Mi now |
Thank you so much, Balladeer! It`s fun to be back and to try my hand at these! ~Amaryllis |
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Amberzlynnc Member
since 2010-08-24
Posts 229New Jersey |
I used to write with such a rhyme, Followed the rules most of the time. Until one day I met a man Who wrote for him and not for fans. His pen touched down without a plan, And down the page a poem ran. I asked, "Please read?" and he began, His words flowed smoothly, better than The poems I'd thrown in garbage cans. He'd broadened my poetic span. "Free-verse poems are not a crime", He said to me, his words sublime. *Amber |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Nice, Amber! Thank you very much for joining in and welcome. Only one line falters a little.. Followed the rules most of the time. You need to get away from the trochaic beginning. I would use something like.. Would follow rules most of the time The rest is exact and very well-written. You have talent, miss. |
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Amberzlynnc Member
since 2010-08-24
Posts 229New Jersey |
Thank you very much for the advice! *Amber |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
My pleasure...and it's our pleasure having you join us here. |
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