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Kyrielle Me A River!
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Kyrielle Me A River! |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA 
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The kyrielle is an old French form used originally by the Troubadors during the Renaissance era. It was named after the kyrie, an aspect of the Christian liturgy. Kyrie is a derivative of kyrios, a Greek word meaning “Oh, Lord.” The Kyrie Eleison was instituted by the Catholic church as a liturgical form of worship and involves a congregational chanting of the words, “Lord, have mercy.” Consequently, many early kyrielles used the phrase throughout the poetic form as an homage to the Christian liturgy. While The kyrielle is a single form, it does have variants. Traditionally, kyrielles have been written in quatrains, but a variant of the form can have it in couplets. The usual rhyme scheme follows this pattern: aabB ccbB ddbB Other rhyme schemes are: abaB-cbcB-dbdB axaB-cycB-dzdB The B in all of the above schemes are the repeating lines. Another variation of the kyrie is the kyrielle sonnet, a 14-line poem written with three quatrains followed by a couplet. While there is quite a bit of variation in the rhyme scheme of the kyrielle, the meter is more set. Originally, kyrielles were octosyllabic – that is, written in eight metrical feet. In English, the meter is iambic tetrameter. I will deviate from the original use of the Kyrielle which had all poems in this form relating only to religion. Choose any topic you like that has a strong repeating word. I would include an example but all that I found had errors in them so it's up to you to create the perfect ones! As a side note, I can mention rhyme schemes, Iambic tetrameter, quatrains and any other poetic descriptions I choose...and you all know what I'm talking about! A year ago, I would have been greeted with a chorus of HUH?'s. Many of you have come a long way. Hats off to you!  Ready....set..... |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
This form appeals to me more than the HexSonneta! I hope my poem is up to snuff! I await the verdict ~ and any suggestions that you may have, dear Deer. Spring is Nigh (Kyrielle) Loud thunder rumbles through the hills. The rain flows over country rills. The lightning streaks the roiling sky. Farewell to winter ~ spring is nigh. Spring showers help the plant-life grow. The earth drinks deep from shower flow. Returning geese go winging by. Farewell to winter ~ spring is nigh. Dull browns and grays will soon be green. The rivers, streams are cool and clean. The flowers bloom and grass grows high Farewell to winter ~ spring is nigh. LLD |
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Alison 
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Linda ~ I so loved your poem that I had to try out the opposing view. Hope it fits the criteria of the assignment.  --- The leaves have turned a bitter red And woods smell like slow rotting dead With rancid odors in the air. The winter brings fresh views to share. These stripped down branches will be white. The moon will glow will special light. When darkness seems too much to bear, The winter brings fresh views to share. The beaver work in wooded dens And tree limbs fill with grousing hens. Fox sneaking, hunting Snowshoe hare; The winter brings fresh views to share. - Alison |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Well, m'dear poetess! From what I can tell ~ It's perfect! Gosh, girlfriend, yer goooood!!!!!  ~ Truly a pleasure to read ~ and envision!  LL |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Whoa, everyone's all over this and way ahead of me with some great work! Um, question... in the Kyrielle sonnet I follow the rhyme scheme for the three quatrains no problem but what about the ending couplet? To use "B" you would repeat the same line three times in row which even by French standards would be overkill, no? |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Good grief! They are both exceptional. Nice work, ladies. Since you two work well together and have two of the seasons covered, why not go all the way on a collaboration and each take one of summer and winter to fill out the idea? Then you would REALLY be "seasoned" poets!  |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Not sure I understand, Moose. The ending couplet would be bB. The two lines of the couplet would rhyme, not be the same line. As far as overkill for the French, we are talking about the country that created the Triolet, where the same line is used three times in an eight line poem. NOTHING is overkill for them!  |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Lol, gotcha, my mistake! Doc |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Balladeer ~ Thank you! That is an intriguing propositionl~ Poetically speaking, that is! Here is my Kyrielle Sonnet offering ~ The Poet (Kyrielle Sonnet) With slip of sun at evening’s end ~ the poet’s mind will then transcend. He writes the mots within his seam ~ puts pen to paper as in dream. In stillness of the darkest nite ~ by flame of candle burning brite, the poet sits and ponders theme ~ puts pen to paper as in dream. From deep within his magic ink, lies sea of notions, deep in think. He writes a poem from just a gleam ~ puts pen to paper as in dream. A poet with his thoughts in stream ~ puts pen to paper as in dream. LLD |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
EA, Darn but you're a tough act to follow! Lol. Doc |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
A whoopie cushion on a chair fake flatulence is fun, I swear! I laugh so hard I darn near pee just give me some frivolity! Bananna peels and pratfalls, yes! It's good old fashioned fun I guess that gets a chuckle out of me, just give me some frivolity! Three Stooges with their nyuck, nyuck, nyuck! A rubber chicken, Daffy duck, the endless possibilities... just give me some frivolity! Not drivel called "reality" just give me some frivolity! |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Moose, is there a Doctor in the house?!? I darn near split my seams reading your humorous piece of frivolity! ~ and you did it in fine form, to boot!  LL |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Angel, I love the last one! One line bothers me, though.. lies sea of notions and deep think. It just doesn't ring right with me somehow....kinda hard for me to put the accent on "and". I would suggest something like... lies sea of notions, deep in think Just a suggestion. The rest is brilliant.. |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Thanks, Balladeering One. I'll go back and see what I can do to make the teacher happy. Okay, I have now changed "lies sea of notions and deep think." to "lies sea of notions, deep in think" As you have so brilliantly suggested! Guess what, teach! I took you up on your challenge and have written a Kyrielle Sonnet for the winter season! Hope you like it! Keeping my proverbial wings crossed! Falling Snow (Kyrielle Sonnet) December wears a mantle white. The air is crisp this winter’s night. Thru’ amber rays of lamplight glow ~ stream crystal flakes of falling snow. Across an opalescent sky, a Great Horned Owl goes winging by. Thru’ cedar bows in brumal blow ~ stream crystal flakes of falling snow Tho’ standing high on Beacon Hill, I’m wrapped in warmth ~ no winter chill. Thru’ wooded valley far below ~ stream crystal flakes of falling snow. Thru’ winter scenes from long ago ~ stream crystal flakes of falling snow. LLD [This message has been edited by Earth Angel (10-02-2009 05:06 PM).] |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
His words of wit spill out in verse In quatrains strange but not perverse. Our laughter roars when he cuts loose.. Thank God we have our Dr. Moose. He takes the road less traveled by To put a twinkle in our eye. His train of thought has no caboose. Thank God we have our Dr. Moose. He's quite the card in games we play With rhyme to brighten up our day. Sometimes the ace, sometimes the deuce Thank God we have our Dr. Moose. How does his mind come up with things Creating all the fun it brings? A cross between PeeWee and Zeus. Thank God we have our Dr. Moose. His wit is shaken, never stirred, Intoxicating, every word. He fills our hunger like cous-cous Thank God we have our Dr. Moose. They say that moose and deer don't mix, A silly thought that I can nix. He lays eggs like the golden goose.. Thank God we have our Dr. Moose! |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Angel...I don't care for that one, either. Don't hit me!!! Since you have now put an accent on "in", which is fine, why not just say "a sea of think"? It sounds less cumbersome to me that way....just my thought. You newest one leaves me cold....and that's a good thing! I can see and feel winter through your words. Nicely done!  |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
BRAVO! Standing ovation! Cheers to both cervine creatures with their acerbic wit and charm. btw, I got a little confused when I was making my last reply re the changing of that dubious line. I later realized that you had given me a great line ~ and I have now incorporated it into the poem! Thanks you! LL |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
me oh my! If home is where you place your hat, then it would appear as though you have two homes! Aw, yes! Home Sweet Home! btw, Have a cold one on me! BTW ~ I think you made your last reply before you could read my edited one. I later noticed that you had written a line for me that you thought would work ~ and it does! ~ and I used it!   LL |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Excellent...it fits very well |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
My summer offering -- The roses dip and dance in pink Among the honey bees who drink The nectar from the blossoms sweet ~ as summer offers nature’s treats When breezes gently stir the leaves And robins call from cherry trees The woodpecker will peck a beat ~ as summer offers nature’s treats The thunder showers shower rain And puddles form from spilling drains Small children play with muddy feet ~ as summer offers nature’s treats A time that sunlight spills with heat ~ as summer offers nature’s treats - Alison [This message has been edited by Alison (10-02-2009 09:21 PM).] |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Alison! We covered all four seasons for our beloved teacher! I wrote on spring and winter ~ you, the fall and summer! Loved the feel of your poems! It is apparent that you enjoy writing in this form as much as I do! It is so rhythmical! LL |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Ah, Doc Moose and Balladeer, you both gave me such laughter today. Thank you - and Linda? What beautiful writing and what fun to write with you. When these are approved, shall we post them as one poetic offering. You are the first person I have ever written with and it was much fun. Love you all, A |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
To all, And on that note, I shall retire for the evening with a great big smile on my face, knowing that in this world of way too many problems, if just for a moment, I have succeeded in putting a smile on some well deserving faces. Doc |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Approval give....they are dynamite. Two gifted poets in perfect sync....go for it! |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Yay! Go for it, Linder Lou! |
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rachaelfuchsberger
since 2007-02-21
Posts 609Las Vegas, NV |
I will attempt this new form, but I may need a while as I have just discovered that my girlfriend may have breast cancer. The needle biopsy is scheduled for next Friday, so I will update with more info as I get it. The mammogram showed a star-shaped mass, and the doctor says there's no garauntee that it IS breast cancer, but it doesn't look good, especially considering her family history of breast and ovarian cancers. Arana Darkwolf |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
I'll be thinking of you both, Rachael. Sometimes it helps me to write out my fears in poetry. I had a biopsy a couple of years ago and it was a scarey, lonely time. I am glad that you are there to support her. Hang in there. Love Z |
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rachaelfuchsberger
since 2007-02-21
Posts 609Las Vegas, NV |
Thank you, Z. I'm researching information, but also holding on to the hope that the biopsy results will show it to be benign. It's going to be a rough ride for a while, and I appreciate your support, Z. Much love Arana Darkwolf |
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rachaelfuchsberger
since 2007-02-21
Posts 609Las Vegas, NV |
I'm not good with iambic, so I tried it in trochaic: I have JUST had QUITE the SCARE LIFE is JUST not BEing FAIR WAIting FOR a REAL anSWER IS it REALly BREAST canCER LOVE and HOPE are HOLDing ON MY partNER just CAN'T be GONE DOCtor LOOKS like A lanCER IS it REALly BREAST canCER I am TIred AND nerVOUS ASking FOR the GODS to BLESS HOPing FOR a GOOD anSWER IS it REALly BREAST canCER Arana Darkwolf |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Rachael, fortunately most biopsies turn out to be benign tumors. May you and your partner hold onto that thought. However, because of her family history, there is some added concern. I will keep her in my prayers ~ and you as well. Keep writing your thoughts and feelings down. That is what poets do. Linda |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Balladeer ~ I have posted "Four Seasons" (Kyrielles and Kyrielle Sonnets by EA & Alison from the pw) in Open. Here is the link /pip/Forum110/HTML/002460.html Thank you! LL |
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rachaelfuchsberger
since 2007-02-21
Posts 609Las Vegas, NV |
Thank you, Linda. I'm appreciative of all the support I can get right now. Arana Darkwolf |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Rachel, I also send my best wishes to your friend and hope all turns out well for her. I can understand how you are so concerned and upset over it, being something neither you or her have any control over. It's a helpless feeling, I know. I appreciate your effort here with all that on your mind. Try again when you are able to concentrate more, ok? |
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rachaelfuchsberger
since 2007-02-21
Posts 609Las Vegas, NV |
Will do. It's just rough right now. Needle biopsy next week will give us more info. Arana Darkwolf |
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rachaelfuchsberger
since 2007-02-21
Posts 609Las Vegas, NV |
I tried again...in trochaic I'M so SCARED for YOU and I I'M not REAdy FOR good BYE WE have BEEN toGEther LONG LOSing YOU would FEEL so WRONG I am SCARED that IT is TRUE THEY will TELL us THAT it GREW IT is HARD to JUST stay STRONG LOSing YOU would FEEL so WRONG MAYbe IT will BE beNIGN AND my FEAR is MISalIGNED I am TRYing TO be STRONG LOSing YOU would FEEL so WRONG Arana Darkwolf |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Atta girl, Rachel! This is so much better and you paid a lot of attention to the construction. There is only one change I would make... IT is HARD to JUST stay STRONG It would be a little difficult for the reader to put the emphasis on IT. To be sure they would do so, I'd change it to.. It's so hard to just stay strong Otherwise, I think it's great. Well done... |
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rachaelfuchsberger
since 2007-02-21
Posts 609Las Vegas, NV |
Thank you, Balladeer. I will make the change. As for the song writing, in the next assignment, it's not my strong suit, but, as always, I'll try. Arana Darkwolf |
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Elias Nevermore Member
since 2007-11-03
Posts 152 |
The bright-eyed glare of newborn sun hides the dark till the morn is done. As light soothes all feelings of hate, mankind tries to escape its fate. The hollow man will raise his hand to ask why he is made of sand. He then sinks under sunlight's weight Mankind tries to escape its fate. The newborn masses seek to find a light that truly makes them blind. All man can see is this world's hate. Mankind tries to escape its fate. "Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing, Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortals ever dared to dream before;" -Edgar All [This message has been edited by Elias Nevermore (10-11-2009 02:33 AM).] |
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rachaelfuchsberger
since 2007-02-21
Posts 609Las Vegas, NV |
Elias, I like this one, but there are 2 lines that just aren't flowing well for me... "breaks through darkness till morn is done." "Sunlight sinks him under its weight." I could be wrong, but I don't quite think those lines flow correctly with the iambic meter you have going on here. Of course, I am but a humble student myself. Perhaps our teacher will be able to shed more light on the matter. Arana Darkwolf |
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