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Put a Hexsonneta on Me!!!!
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Put a Hexsonneta on Me!!!! |
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Balladeer
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA 
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HexSonnetta The HexSonnetta consists of two six-line stanzas and a finishing rhyming couplet with the following set of rules: Meter: Iambic Trimeter Rhyme Scheme: a/bb/aa/b c/dd/cc/d ee Iambic Trimeter means the usual iambic (alternating unstressed/stressed) meter for every line of the poem, but instead of the ten syllables that comprise a typical sonnet's iambic pentameter, this particular form uses six syllables of iambic trimeter per line. Thus, the name HexSonnetta. The first part of the form’s name refers to the syllable count per line. The second part of the name, Sonnetta, is to show this to be a form similar to the sonnet, yet with its shorter lines and different rhyme scheme, it is not the typical sonnet. Not only does this poem have six syllables per line, it also has a set of two six-line stanzas, giving an extra “hex” to the meaning of HexSonnetta. The rhyme scheme is a bit of a mixture of the two traditional sonnet types, with the two 6-line stanzas having more the rhyme scheme of an Italian sonnet, but with the ending rhyming couplet being the featured rhyme scheme of the English sonnet. The first stanza presents the theme of the poem, with the second stanza serving to change the tone of the poem, to introduce a new aspect of the theme or to give added details. The final couplet, as in an English sonnet, can be either a summary (if the theme is simple) or it could be the resolution to a problem presented in the theme. In any event, it should nicely tie together the whole piece and could even appear as a nice “twist” presented at the end. The Woebegone As wind begins to blow, she’s lying in her bed. Is he alive or dead? She doesn’t even know. And as it starts to snow, her doubts fill up her head. She finds no answers why. To such sad fate she’s bound. Wind makes a mournful sound. The woman starts to cry, and snow from dismal sky falls heavy on the ground. Like fields piled high with snow, She’s buried in her woe. Copyright © 2009 Andrea Dietrich |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Love the example-- and methinks yer tryin' to tempt a witch with that topic line!   |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Balladeer, In your example the ending couplet wraps around to rhyme with "a", although your description does not specifically call for it. Am I correct in assuming this can be written either way ? Doc Befalls a silent hush on opening prelude symphonic solitude as Nature wields her brush with whispered strokes to shush all that which would intrude Beneath the thesholds' sounds the thrum of backround noise ones' thoughts acquire a poise that's very seldom found where content knows no bounds a means that one employs to ban the crass and crude from needed interludes [This message has been edited by Dr.Moose1 (09-25-2009 08:13 AM).] |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
No, Doc, the couplet is not tied in to any other stanza. The fact that it happened to relate to A is probably just coincidence. Excellent poem. I confess I had a little trouble following your thoughts in the last half of the second stanza but I have trouble following a lot of things! Also, the ending couplet normally stands alone and is a summary of the poem, in sonnet style. Hey, if one just wants a "Nice poem!" (which I know you don't), one can go to Open! p.s. check the positioning of your apostrophies. |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Doctor ~ I enjoyed the symphonic solitude of Nature's whispered interlude. Beautiful!  LL |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Well, I'm back to try my hand/pen/keys at a HexSonneta! ~ After I put a "hex" on thee! ~ Oh, do not fear, Deer! My hexes are just little loving spells. ~ Afterall, I'm an 'angel'.  Down Lover's Lane (HexSonneta) Down Lover's Lane they strolled, in love beyond compare. ~ With dreams of lives to share. As one, they would grow old, from day the church bells tolled. ~ In love without a care. But wailing winds of fate, cast rains on their romance. ~ No longer would they dance. In spite of his new mate, forever she would wait ~ And pray for one more chance. He left with words unsaid. ~ No longer would they wed. LLD [This message has been edited by Earth Angel (09-25-2009 05:43 PM).] |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
EA, Thanks, but I guess it needs a little work. Doc Balladeer, Point well taken, I'll be back. Doc |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Hello, Angel! You did very well on the construction....nice. No longer would they dance. In spite of his new mate, forever she would wait ~ And pray for one more chance. That just doesn't get it for me...sorry.  Nailing the structure is a good thing but the poem needs to be striking. You can do better.... |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
I can see where you are going with that comment. The "No longer would they dance" was actually meant to be a continuation of the preceding lines. That is why I had an "~" in front of it. If one was to readi it as you have copied it below, it sucks! lol No longer would they dance. In spite of his new mate, forever she would wait ~ And pray for one more chance. This is how it played out in my mind. But wailing winds of fate, cast rains on their romance. ~ No longer would they dance. In spite of his new mate, forever she would wait ~ And pray for one more chance. Perhaps if I changed the punctuation, the poem would read better in the reader's head! lol How's this, deer teacher? But wailing winds of fate, cast rains on their romance. ~ No longer would they dance. In spite of his new mate, ~ forever she would wait, and pray for one more chance. Might I also say that I find this poetic form rather chopped, forced, and contrived. ~ Unless that is just the way that I'm writing it! lol I enjoy trying out the variety of forms that you have given us. Several have now become favourites of mine. Trust me, the HexSonneta is not one of them.  |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Ok, but if it was meant to be a continuation of the preceding line, why did the preceding line end with a period? The "in spite of his new mate" also gives me problems. Hey, that's just me. It may all be perfectly feasible in your eyes and that's fine. You are the one that has to be happy with it and, if you are, end of story! Your poems, especially as of late, have been so smooth and beautiful and self-explanatory. This one strayed from that for me...don;t hate me!  |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Aha! I see, from the addition to your last comment, the problem. You are just not happy with the form. Hey, that's fine. It's not easy to write a smooth-flowing poem in a form you don''t care for...perfectly understandable. I still appreciate your making the attempt. You're a trooper!  |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Balladeer, regarding your following comments ~ "Ok, but if it was meant to be a continuation of the preceding line, why did the preceding line end with a period? The "in spite of his new mate" also gives me problems." ~ Good point regarding the period. Punctuation is not my strong suit. I shall remove it. As for the "In spite" line, I wasn't too keen on that line either, so I will change it ~ and hopefully you and I will both be happy campers!  Okay, let's give this another try. Down Lover's Lane (HexSonneta) Down Lover's Lane they strolled, in love beyond compare, with dreams of lives to share. As one, they would grow old, from day the church bells tolled, in love without a care. But wailing winds of fate, cast rains on their romance ~ no longer would they dance. Although he had new mate, forever she would wait and pray for one more chance. He left with words unsaid ~ no longer would they wed. LLD How could anyone "hate" someone as deer as you? I appreciated your suggestions. This was a good exercise, however, I will not be posting this HexSonneta in Open ~ and you and I both know why! lol Goodnight, good knight! LL [This message has been edited by Earth Angel (09-26-2009 02:35 PM).] |
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rachaelfuchsberger
since 2007-02-21
Posts 609Las Vegas, NV |
Here's my go at it.... Love That's Led By Fate i LOVE that DARK black HAIR i'm LOST in DEEP blue EYES so DROP your HARD disGUISE that PAIN my HEART will SPARE and LOVE will BLOSsom FAIR as IF it's LIFE'S surPRISE you HID for QUITE a WHILE the NAture OF your HEART and MADE it HARD to START i HAD to USE my WILE to MAKE you LAUGH and SMILE to HAVE the LOVer's PART and NOW we CELeBRATE our LOVE that's LED by FATE Arana Darkwolf |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Rachael, I'm no expert on writing a HexSonneta (as mine surely shows!), however, I will say this about your poem, it is full of heart and soul! Very sweet! ~ Just like you! Linda |
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rachaelfuchsberger
since 2007-02-21
Posts 609Las Vegas, NV |
Thank you, Linda. It's somewhat reflective of how my current relationship began, and is now going. Arana Darkwolf |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Rachael, this is excellent! The form is exact, the meter is perfect and the content exemplary. You have come a long way with regards to meter and continue to improve. I'm proud of you |
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rachaelfuchsberger
since 2007-02-21
Posts 609Las Vegas, NV |
Thank you, Sir! I'm glad I finally got an iambic one on the first try! ~does a happy dance~ Arana Darkwolf |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Rachael -  xoxoxo Z |
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rachaelfuchsberger
since 2007-02-21
Posts 609Las Vegas, NV |
Thanks, Z.  XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX Arana Darkwolf |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Well, here I come again! I'm determined to get this form right. The Titan and the Fool (HexSonneta) While passing local bar, I spied a burly guy with patch upon his eye. He smoked a long cigar and spat in mason jar. ~ He stood near eight feet high! As Titan turned his head, a drunken bleary bloke. gave giant’s ribs a poke With wide eyes filled with dread, the fool then up and fled, as Titan snorted smoke! So, pick on your own size ~ far bigger is unwise! LLD [This message has been edited by Earth Angel (09-28-2009 08:53 PM).] |
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rachaelfuchsberger
since 2007-02-21
Posts 609Las Vegas, NV |
EarthAngel, I like this latest attempt. Only ~looks around~ I wonder where our good Sir Balladeer has got off to. Arana Darkwolf |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
LOL! Ah, Angel, I knew you weren't a quitter...and you came back flawlessly. Perfect form and the sonnet-line condensation at the end. The world may now continue to spin... |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Rachael, you're a pet. Thank you! ~ and as for Balladeer, I had been wondering the same thing. He might have been thinking, oh no! ~ Not another choppy HexSonetta from Linda! lol LL |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Balladeer ~ Aww so, mastah! Me happy that you happy. LL |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Place a hex on this poem turn its meter around twist it until it sounds like it's so far from home it was written by gnomes from the poem underground work it like rented mules see how far you can go Anapest? maybe so use a few different tools break a couple of rules and you're done, don't ya know! Then just run it by "Deer" like you've nothing to fear! |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
LOL! Well, you've certainly broken the rules on this one, Doc. You have mashed meter mercilessly....intentionally, I have no doubt. Nice example! |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Oh, my deer Moosie One, I love the sense of hoomah of you two cervine creatures! lol Hmmm, you've given me an idea, Doc!!! Next time I 'murdalize' the meter of a poem, I'll simply say I did it on purpose to get a laugh! Mind you, I know your's WAS intentional. Mine would actually be a case of inept writing! LL |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Balladeer, Lol, sorry couldn't resist. Btw, I posted a real one in open "Halloween Hexsonnetta", I'd give you the link but I'm not good at that stuff. Doc EA, Lol, as Nan used to say,"you gotta know the rules before you can break 'em", otherwise it's just a mistake. Fun stuff. Doc |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
First time I've seen autumnal used in poem...I LIKE it! Actually I looked up the pronounciation, not being sure if it was iambic or not...and it is. How could I have doubted you???  |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Ty Maestro, You do tend to inspire us to put forth our best efforts. Doc |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
CORRECTED IN POST #33 Relentless winds sing shrill. Spruce trees are dwarfed in twists and towards the south they list. Upon the windy hills the air is never still. It bathes the day in mist. Smooth rocks now wind-swept bones; once set by Divine hands, they scatter ‘cross the lands where the ghosts of Mammoth roam. In winds, they seek their home and gather spectral bands. Its needs can not be filled - this wind that shrieks and trills. - Alison I am not loving this poem, but I am kick starting myself back into the swing of things. xoxoxo [This message has been edited by Alison (10-01-2009 07:09 PM).] |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Alison, I'm liking the picture, with but two exceptions. Second stanza, lines two, and four, both break meter, but hey, then again, this ain't my job, and I could very well be wrong. Doc |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Thank you, Doc. I hope this cleans it up. A --- Relentless winds sing shrill. Spruce trees are dwarfed in twists and towards the south they list. Upon the windy hills the air is never still. It bathes the day in mist. Smooth rocks, now wind-swept bones, were brushed with silty sands; then worn smooth ‘cross the lands where ghosts of Mammoth roam. In winds, they seek their home and gather spectral bands. Its needs can not be filled - this wind that shrieks and trills. - Alison |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Alison! You're back!!! Missed you! Fantastic imagery and atmosphere in your poem! I could almost hear the ghosts of mammoths thundering across the tundra! ~ and oh, the wind!!! Love the wind! LL |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Alison, I do believe you've got it, by Jove, but as I said, 'tis not my forum, I'll await the official ruling. Doc |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Thank you both - and, Linda, I have missed you too.  Now ... I wait for the final decision of our beloved teacher. xoxoox |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
I did this one too, dear Balladeer (#33). Thanky kindly, Oh wise one. xoxoxo A |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Moose, you are right on both counts. The lines WERE out of sync that you quoted and the correction DID clear them up....nicely done by both of you. |
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Amberzlynnc Member
since 2010-08-24
Posts 229New Jersey |
I entered knowing what His expectations were. Though not what I'd prefered, Did not think I'd go nuts. Now I'm stuck in a rut.. I thought this might occur. So why did I agree? I'm usually so shy, But something in his eyes Convinced me to believe He'd see difference in me. He saw me just the same. To him, love's just a game. *Amber |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Did it again because .. I thought I hadn't done it ... oh well, I am rusty. Slammer Dogs My Abby is not bright I found her in the pound She was a run-around Soft eyes keep me in sight And shine with pure delight While in her love I drown Now Stuart is too smart He tried to jump his bail It shocked him when he failed He has a loyal heart But needed a new start I sprung him from that jail I keep my dogs from plight They keep me warm at night - Alison [This message has been edited by Alison (11-18-2010 03:15 AM).] |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Alison!!! You've come back! Hallelujiah!!!! Love the way you put the hex on me. The rhyme scheme, syllable counts and meter are perfect. HOWEVER, since the teacher is a nit-picker from way back (as you well know), there are two lines I don't care for....and I'm sure you know what they are. while in her love I drown I keep my dogs from plight Yes, they are correct sentences but drowning in a dog's love? And, unless the neighbor's dog is named Plight, I have a hard time with that one. It gives the impression you wanted to get the darn thing finished so you came up with a quick rhyming word and threw it in. Of course, if you feel those are quality lines, that's fine with me. possibilities? I love this love I've found I love her loving sound. My dogs are my delight I shield them from fights Just ramblin' |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Yep, I am back and know that I missed a number of assignments. I'll be looking around and catching up. Here's the second draft -- and I agree with you. -- Slammer Dogs My Abby is not bright I found her in the pound A picked up run-around She flirted late at night And danced with dog delight … but not with any hound. Now Stuart’s very smart He tried to jump his bail (it shocked him when he failed) But, Abby stole his heart And they will never part That girl sure hooked her male. Those puppies are all right In fact, they’re dynamite! - Alison  |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
...and that, ladies and gentlemen, is called persistence leading to perfection. I like it! |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Thank you, dear friend of mine. It's good to be back!  |
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AlCowie Member
since 2011-05-13
Posts 92London, UK |
d'Dum, d'Dum, d'DAY, d'Dum, d'Dum, d'BEE, d'Dum, d'Dum, d'BEE, d'Dum, d'Dum, d'DAY, d'Dum, d'Dum, d'DAY, d'Dum, d'Dum, d'BEE, I need some sleep! I should be going to bed I must arise too soon But I can see the moon Anaemic, underfed Rests ghostly overhead A lonely, pale baloon So I'll write another verse; This site's made an addict of me - I might predict My widened universe Is new space to traverse Where I'll, my mind, inflict (sounds like a threat, but it's just what rhymes!) |
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